“I'm giving [my analyst] one more year--then I'm going to Lourdes.”

“This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?”

“I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.”

“In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”

“I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.”

“I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”

“I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.”