“It's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too much, it kills you.... you've got to find an answer to the question: Why go on?”

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”

“You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.”

“I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”

“There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.”

“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”

“It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.”