“Living is messy.”

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.”

“All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”

“In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”

“I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

“Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.”