“My brain? That's my second favorite organ.”

“You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.”

“Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.”

“Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.”

“In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”

“I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”

“I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.”