“No, thanks. I already own a penguin.”

“I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business.”

“I am glad The Worst Journey is coming out in Penguins: after all it is largely about penguins.”

“They (penguins) then fall madly in love and live happily ever after.-And so you ask yourself: "If a penguin can have a worthwhile, stimulating relationship, why the hell can't I?"-Or maybe you ask yourself: "Would I be happier if I started dating a penguin”

“Your penguin. You know, penguins. They mate for life. Penguins are one of the only animals on the planet that do that, like humans. It’s sweet. You’ve got yourself a little penguin, Uncle Mitch.”

“No thanks, I've already eaten.”