“Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

“The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.”

“Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.”

“Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.”

“Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.”

“Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

“Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.”