“Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.”

“Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, anymore than standing in your garage makes you a car.”

“The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”

“Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it.”

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

“The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.”

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”