“The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.”

“I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty.”

“My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a Quaker.”

“How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?”

“Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you can get between the right man and the right woman.”

“Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”

“Your still searching for me in every woman. You'll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.”