“Tether even a roasted chicken.”

“Do not be a coward! If you do, people will roast you like a chicken one day.”

“The last time I had PMS a roast chicken popped out of the oven and danced the Macarena.Krebs had walked in just as the chicken started dancing. By then he was pretty much used to anything and only asked if the chicken shouldn’t be doing the Chicken Dance instead.”

“Will you stay to dinner?" Adam asked."I will not be responsible for the murder of more chickens," said Samuel."Lee's got a pot roast.""Well, in that case--”

“The human head is of the same approximate size and weight as a roaster chicken. I have never before had occasion to make the comparison, for never before today have I seen a head in a roasting pan.”

“Even with all the mayonnaise in the world, you can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit.”