“In the end we're all miserable. It's a human condition.”

“It's just so sad what we're willing to do for the Joey Spinellis of the world, you know?The mutilating, the tweezing, the enhancing, the plumping, the pinching, the waxing, the starving, the sweating, the bleaching. And for what? So you can wake up next to THAT in thirty years? What are we thinking??”

“It's hard to go from thinking that a person is somebody you really want to know to finding out that not only do you not want to know them at all, but they're capable of violence.”

“Oh here's a nice one, he brown recluse spider. This once resides in wooded areas. In other words, next to my head while I'm sleeping. ' In a small number of cases, a bite from a brown recluse can produce organ damage with occasional fatalities.' ""That's the worst-case scenario. how can it be? It's called a 'recluse'""It's been my experience that all recluses have a mean streak.”

“There's no need for us to talk. That's how it's like with us. We talk without speaking.”

“Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home.”

“One of the things you learn when you live on a farm is that change comes at you whether you´re ready for it or not. Every season is punctuated with its own smells and tastes and you find yourself looking forward, waiting for the next thing to come along so you can take a bite of it.”