“Should I have taken him by the hand and led him over to the Zappa? No. I won't spoon-feed the customers. If you don't know your alphabet, you have no business leaving your house, let alone shopping for premium music.”

“He smiled at me, as innocent as an angel. "I will sit her all day and night. I'll camp out on your porch. and i won't leave. we have all week, Kitten. either get it over with tomorrow and be done with me, or I'll be right here until you agree. you won't be able to leave your house." I gaped at him. "You can't be serious." "Oh, I am.”

“If customers don't find enjoyment and satisfaction by coming into your store, it won't matter if you have the greatest, fanciest, most sophisticated business model in the world.”

“I won't leave you. If you're in danger, then I should be with you. I won't let you risk your life alone. We're in this together, remember? That's what you told me when we ran away.”

“It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. You can let go of the sword.""I can’t. I can’t leave him alone. I have to protect him.""You have.”

“Eric: But you already know...Greta: Well, yeah, but I still want us to have The Talk. All daughters get to have The Talk.Eric: Fine. You remember the book "If you give a Mouse a Cookie"?Greta: Ye-es.Eric: It's like that.Greta: No it isn't.Eric: No. It absolutely is...Eric: If you give a boy a kiss, he'll want to touch your cookies. If you let him touch your cookies, he'll want to unwrap them. If you let him unwrap them, he'll want to put them in his mouth. And THEN, if you let him put them in his mouth, the boy will want to pet your kitty. But if you let him pet your kitty, he'll want to see your kitty. And of course, if you let him see your kitty, then he'll want to feed it. And if you let him kiss you, touch your cookies, unwrap your cookies, put them in his mouth, pet your kitty, see your kitty, and feed your kitty, you'll get pregnant unless you make him wear a raincoat on his banana. So it's better if you just kick the boy in the nuts and run over him with the car.Greta: I don't think that's how The Talk usually goes.Eric: No?Greta: No, but it's okay, Dad. I like your version, too.”