“Oh my God. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe. Hm... I may have to quit my day job for this.”

“When the first living thing existed, I was there waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job will be finished. I'll put the chairs on the tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave.”

“May God have mercy for my enemies because I won't.”

“I live my life based on 2 principles. One, I live as if today was my last day on earth. Two, I live today as if I am going to live forever.”

“Get used to that, Nana. He has a way of appearing out of thin air.''Oh my. Asher. Hm. Hm. Hm. Turn around. He's beautiful, Campbell. Are you schtupping my granddaughter?' she asked him.'No, ma'am.''Well, I give you my permission.'And just liked that, Cam's love life was ruined forever. If and when she ever 'schtupped' Asher, she'd have to do everything she could not to think of her grandmotehr.”

“Ironic that in order to do my life's work, I had to quit my day job.”