Brodi Ashton

“He paused and let out a little sigh. Then I’m saying it wrong, because it has everything to do with you. I want what Hades and Persephone had, and I can’t do it without you. The only time the queen of the Everneath has been overthrown is when an Everliving has found his perfect match. I’ve spent my whole life - and it’s a long one, trust me - looking for my perfect match, and it’s you. I knew you were different from the first moment I met you. The first moment you placed your hands on mine. You remember?”

“I was asking Cole to risk his life, again and again, for the boy I loved. And it wasn't him.”

“To get someone to follow them, a Siren would most likely appear as that person's deepest desire. The thing they wanted most. Cole's had become me, only it wasn't me as the queen, which I assumed would've been what Cole wanted most. It wasn't even me as an Everliving.It was me, simply as me.”

“Thats not what I mean." He seemed flustered. Very un Jack-like. "I just mean...What do I mean?""Are you asking me?"He nodded, now completely at a loss.I tilted my head, thrilled to see that even Jack could get flustered. "Maybe you mean, 'Hey Becks, you have such natural beauty, even without effort you shine like the stars.'"He stared at me and nodded slowly. Which was not the reaction I'd been expecting. For the first time since I'd known Jack, he looked...vulnerable. And I was the person who could hurt him. What was going on?”

“How did you know to turn back?" I said.With his head still down, he said, "I waited for you.""But its a race. Why did you wait for me?"He lifted his head so that his eyes met mine. "I always wait for you." He took a deep breath, my ankle still in his hands. "I'm always waiting for you."In an embarrassingly breathless voice that didn't sound like my own, I said, "Because I'm so slow?"He smiled. "Yes. But not in the way that you think.”

“AT NIGHTMy bedroom,as I drift.Every night,Jack is with me.He lies down on his side, lengthwise on my bed,and props his head on my pillow. I mirrow his position. He places his hand over mine. I see it,but I don't feel it.We discovered long ago that we can't touch,even in our dreams. I am as much of a ghost to him as he is to me. We are a breath away-and a world apart-from each other.He doesn't know where he goes when he's not with me.He doesn't think he exists anymore,except for in my dreams.I think he is right.And I tell him to hang on.I will never stop dreaming of him.I will find him.”

“The thing was,I knew exactly how I had survived.Mary had been on to something with her anchor theory,but she was a little unclear on the logistics. Jack told me he dreamed of me every night, and it was as if I were really there. I was in a dark place,and he helped me see.Now Jack was invading my dreams every night. Not a dream Jack,but the real thing.I know this because during one of the first dreams, he told me what the tattoo on his arm said. Ever Yours. The next morning,I rushed to draw the image from memory, and then I researched it.The symbols were artistic versions of ancient Sanskrit words.They stood for eternity and belonging. Ever Yours, just as Jack had said. There was no way my subconscious could have come up with that explanation on its own.I'd finally found the connection Meredith had longed for,the tether from an anchor that kept a Forfeit alive. They were bound together through their dreams,sustaining each other during sleep.When I was asleep,Jack would come to my bedroom and sit on the end of the mattress and face me.He came to me every night,talking about his uncle's cabin, the Christmas Dance, how my hair hides my eyes,how my hand fits in his, how he loves me.How he'll never leave. I spent the first few dreams saying "I'm sorry" over and over and over, until he threatened to stay away if I didn't stop.”

“Cole, do you feel anything for me?" I don't know what made me ask this, except that Jack had asked him the night of the Tunnels. It obviously surprised him.He backed up. "What?"I inched forward, not quite sure I was going with this. "Do you feel...something for me?"He was quiet, still as a statue, so I moved even closer. "Don't, Nik." His gaze dropped to the ground."If you feel anything, please leave me alone. I don't know why I survived. I don't have your answer. Shadowing me will get you nothing."Then he did something unexpected. He backed down, and as he turned around to his motorcycle, he shook his head and mumbled, "What have you done to me?""I don't know," I said. "But you have ninety-nine years to figure it out."He kicked it on and revved the engine, and at the sound, he found his cocky smirk again. "That's a long time, Nik. Jack is gone, and I'm here. Let's see who gives up first.”

“SOPHOMORE YEARBefore he was mine and I was his..."You weren't in the lunchroom today," Jack said, coming up behind me at my locker. "Jules says you're never in the cafeteria on Wednesdays."I tried to calm the flush to my cheeks before I turned around to face him. My crush on Jack was getting ridiculous. Pretty soon I would be nonverbal.Just because he noticed,for the first time, that I wasn't at lunch,it didn't mean anything.I tried to keep my tone light. "Sounds like you guys had a very intriguing conversation.""Oh,we did." Jack fell into step beside me,and we walked down the hallway at a slower pace than everyone around us. "She said you avoid the cafeteria on Wednesdays.And she said you like me."I heard myself gasp,and I came to a stop.I'm gonna kill Jules, I thought."So,is it true?" Jack said.I could barely hear him with the crashing waves in my ears.I started to turn away,embarrassed,but Jack stepped sideways so he was in front of me, and there was nowhere else I could look."Is it true?" he asked again."Yes.I hate hot-dog Wednesdays, so I don't go to the lunchroom.It's true.""That's not what I meant,Becks.""I know.""Tell me.Is it true? Do you like me?"I tried to roll my eyes,and promptly forgot how.So I just looked at the ceiling. "You know I like you. You're one of my best friends.""Friends," Jack repeated."Of course.""Good friends?"I nodded."More than friends?"I didn't say anything. I didn't move. Jack reached toward my hand and tugged gently on my fingers. The movement was so small,I wouldn't have seen it if I hadn't felt it.He leaned forward and said, "Tell me, friend.Is there more for us?"I looked into his eyes. "There's everything for us.”

“Will you look after my family?" I attempted a smile. "Tommy's going to need a...big brother. Someone to fish with." It seemed stupid to be talking about this stuff,but there weren't any words for the bigger stuff anymore. "He makes his own flies." Jack already knew this."Becks-""And make sure he doesn't play football." Jack tilted his head at this. "I mean,football's fine, bit it's dangerous.I don't want him concussed-""Becks,stop.""Just tell me you'll do it." I closed my eyes. "Tell me."There was a long pause,and I wasn't sure there'd be time for him to answer anymore.But after a few moments,he did. "No."My eyes shot open. "What?"His eyes were tight,his expression on fire with blazing determination. "You watch over Will.""What are you...?" My voice trailed off as it dawned on me what was going on. "No!" I tried to wiggle my hands free from his grip. "Don't you dare, Jack Caputo!"But I couldn't break from his strong grasp. I twisted and thrashed but that only made Jack hold on tighter. He closed his eyes and said, "Stay with me,Becks.Dream of me. I am ever yours.""No! I will forgive you!" I tried to pull back.Tried to get close enough for the Tunnels to suck me away instantaneously.But Jack had to be about twice my weight and pure muscle. "Let me go!"He ignored me.In the quickest, strongest move I would ever know,Jack yanked me toward him and threw me to the ground behind him.Away from the Tunnels.”

“You know I have no power over the balance of the Everneath." He glanced at Jack. "Sorry,bro.Even with your biceps, we can't fight the force of nature.”

“Jack,do me a favor?" I said."Anything,Becks.""Don't let go of my hand. And if the Tunnels come for me,don't let go until the last moment.""If the Tunnels come for you,I'll hold on, and they won't be able to take you."I smiled at the sentiment, even though I knew that no one would be able to hold on.”

“Do you want to know the first time I ever saw you?" he said with his lips at my ear.I knew the story,but I nodded anyway, frantically."Your family had just moved in. You were...how old were you,Becks?"I shrugged,and he ran his fingers over my head, calming me.He knew the answer."You were eleven," he said. "I was twelve.I remember Joey Velasquez talking about the pretty new girl in the neighborhood.Actually his exact words were 'the hot chick.' But I didn't think a thing about it until I saw you at the baseball field. We were having practice at the park and your family showed up for a picnic.You had so much dark hair,and it was hiding your face.Remember?"I nodded. "I know what you're trying to do."He ignored me. "I had to see if Joey was right,about the hot chick part, and I kept trying to get a good look at your face, but you never looked over our way.I hit home run after home run trying to get your attention, but you couldn't be bothered with my record-shattering, supherhuman performance."I smiled,and breathed in slowly. I'd heard this story so many times before.The familiarity of it enveloped me with warmth. "So what did you do?" I asked, fully aware of the answer."I did the only thing I could think of. I went up to the bat,lined my feet up in the direction of your head,and swung away.""Hitting the foulest foul ball anyone had ever seen," I continued the story.I felt him chuckle next to me. "Yep. I figured in order to return the ball,you'd have to get really close to me, because..." He waited for me to fill in the blank."Because someone made the mistake of assuming I would throw like a girl," I said softly.He pressed his lips against my head before he went on. "Which,of course, was stupid of me to think. You stood right where you were and chucked the ball farther than I'd ever seen a girl, or even any guy,chuck it.""It was all those years of Bonnet Ball my parents forced on me.""The entire team went nuts. You gave a little tiny shrug, like it was no big deal, and sat back down with your family. Completely ignoring me again. So my plan totally backfired. Not only did you get the attention of every boy on the field-which was not my intention-but I got reamed by the coach, who couldn't understand why I suddenly decided to stand perpendicular to home plate.”

“Her emotional layers had the depth of a full symphony. All I wanted was the bathe in her harmony.”

“The question I should've been asking myself was, in ninety-nine years, how will I find another Forfeit who will survive the Feed? But the question I actually asked myself was, Could Nikki ever look at me the way she looked at Jack in those final moments?”

“Do you get it now,Becks?" Jack wrapped a finger around a long strand of my hair, and we were quiet as it slipped through his grip."You haven't moved on?"He chuckled. "I have a lifetime of memories made up of chestnut wars and poker games and midnight excursions and Christmas Dances...It's all you. It's only ever been you.I love you." The last part seemed to escape his lips unintentionally, and afterward he closed his eyes and put his head in his hands,as if he had a sudden headache. "I've gotta not say that out loud."The sight of how messed up he was made me want to wrap my arms around him and fold him into me and cushion him from everything that lay ahead.Instead,I reached for his hand. Brought it to my lips. Kissed it.He raised his head and winced. "You shouldn't do that," he said, even though he didn't pull his hand away."Why?""Because...it'll make everything worse...If you don't feel-"His voice cut off as I kissed his hand again, pausing with his fingers at my lips. He let out a shaky sigh and his hair flopped forward. Then he looked at my lips for a long moment. "What if...?"I bit my lower lip. "What?""What if we could be like this again?" He leaned in closer with a smile, and as he did,he said, "Are you going to steal my soul?""Um...it's not technically your soul that..."I couldn't finish my sentence. His lips brushed mine, and I felt the whoosh of transferring emotions,but it wasn't as strong as the last time. The space inside me was practically full again. The Shades were right. Six months was just long enough to recover.He kept his lips touching mine when he asked, "Is it okay?"Okay in that I wasn't going to suck him dry anymore. Not okay in that my own emotions were in hyperdrive. Only our lips touched.Thankfully there was space between us everywhere else.He took my silence to mean it was safe. We held our lips together, tentative and still.But he didn't let it stay that casual for long.He pressed his lips closer, parting his mouth against mine. I shivered,and he put his arms around me and pulled me closer so that our bodies were touching in so many places.He pulled back a little.His breath was on my lips."What is it?" I asked."I dreamed of you every night." He briefly touched his lips to mine again. "It felt so real.And when I'd wake up the next morning,it was like your disappearance was fresh. Like you'd left me all over again."I lowered my chin and tucked my head into his chest. "I'm sorry."He sighed and tightened his grip around me. "It never got easier.But the dreams themselves." I felt him shake his head. "It's like I had a physical connection to you. They were so real. Every night,you were in my room with me. It was so real."I tilted my head back so I could face him again, realizing for the first time how difficult it must've been for Jack. I kissed his chin, his cheek, and then his lips. "I'm sorry," I said again.He shook his head. "It's not your fault I dreamed of you, Becks.I just want to know if it was as real as it felt.""I don't know," I said. But I told him about the book I'd read on Orpheus and Eurydice, and my theory that it was her connection to Orpheus that saved her.”

“Why didn't you tell me?""I know you won't believe it, but I thought it would be best for you. You were doing so well until I came back. I thought you could go back to how it was. You still can.""Don't say that,Becks.We're going to figure something out.""I know.Even so,I understand that it would've been easier for you if I'd never come back.Maybe you and Jules..."His grip on my arm tightened,and when he spoke,his voice wavered. "Becks. I crashed when you left.Jules held together the pieces,and I will love her forever for that.But if I was with her, it wouldn't be right." He grimaced. "She told me so herself, right before I left with Will. She knew." Jack pushed my hair out of my eyes and off my forehead."Um,she knew what?" I could barely hear my own voice."It's always been you,Becks. Nothing will change that,no matter how much time has passed." He glanced down. "No matter if you feel the same way or not. You know what,right?"I shook my head slowly,wanting desperately to believe him, but not sure if I could."How can you not see that? Everyone sees it." He slid his hand down my arm and grabbed my fingers, holding them in his lip,tracing them. Staring at them. "Remember freshman year? How Bozeman asked you to the Spring Fling?"Bozeman. He was two years older than me. Played offensive lineman. His first name was Zachary, but nobody had called him that since the third grade. I'd been surprised he even knew my name, let alone asked me to the dance."Of course I remember.You came with me to answer him." We doorbell-ditched Bozeman's house, leaving a two-liter bottle of Coke and a note that said I'd pop to go to the dance with you, or something like that. Bozeman had a reputation for fast hands, but he didn't try anything with me. In fact,he barely touched me at all, even at the fling.And he never asked me out again.Or even talked to me, really.It was weird."Yeah,well,I didn't tell you, but Bozeman actually asked my permission.""Why?""Because it was obvious to everyone, except you,how I felt about you.And then that night with the Coke on the porch...after I dropped you off at home, I paid Bozeman a visit." His cheeks went pink and he lowered his eyes."And?""Let's just say I rescinded my permission. I didn't realize how much it would bother me." His eyes met mine.I could only imagine what was said between Jack and the lineman, who was twice his size."Don't be mad," Jack said. Like I'd be angry after everything we'd been through. "I...I'm telling you this because you have to know that it's always been you. And it will always be you.”

“When I was in the Everneath, I thought about Jack every day. Every minute. Even after I'd forgotten his name, the image of his face made me feel whole again. Was Jack the reason I'd survived? Were our ties to the Surface what somehow kept us whole?The one problem in the anchor theory was Meredith.She had a connection with her mom,yet she didn't survive. But then the more I thought about it, the more I realized Mrs. Jenkins didn't have a similar connection to Meredith. She forgot about Meredith the second the Feed began.Then it hit me.Orpheus didn't forget about Eurydice.He loved her the entire time she was gone. Maybe the attachment between Forfeit and anchor worked only when it went both ways.The drinking fountain next to me shuddered to life as a flash of intuition hit me.I knew now that Jack never forgot about me.He'd never stopped loving me.He was the anchor that saved me.And now he was gone.”

“The doors to the convenience store slammed open, and I heard frantic footsteps run toward me.I looked up just as Cole rounded the corner of the last aisle. When he saw me,he let out an audible sigh of relief."Don't scare me like that,Nik."I couldn't answer.I lowered my head and let the tears flow. Cole sat beside me and put his arm around me,and I let him. I cried into the front of his black leather jacket, my tears pooling on the chest pocket."Careful.I didn't bring a life jacket," Cole said.I sniffled."Shh.It's okay."I guess that was how low I'd sunk, that Cole was the one person who could console me. We sat like that for a few long minutes,and when I finally had composed myself enough to speak,I said into his jacket, "Why don't you help me?You could be a hero for once."He put his lips against my head. "Heroes don't exist. And if they did,I wouldn't be one of them.”

“What would it take to get you to leave me alone?""I think you know exactly what it would take.""What if I make you a deal?"His eyebrows wrinkled. "A deal?"Lowering my voice,I said, "What if I promise to go with you,but not until right before the Tunnels come?" I took a step closer in my sudden enthusiasm, and he backed up. "As long as I go with you before the Tunnels actually come, it will work.If you give me these last moments with Jack alone, I'll go with you."I tried not to let my face show the lie I was telling.His face went blank,then it broke out in a wide grin. "Golly, do you pinky swear?" he said sarcastically. When I didn't answer,he continued, "Your little plan would involve me taking quite a bit of faith.You're not exactly a safe bet."I guess I wasn't surprised. But I was so tired of Cole. I looked him directly in the eye. "If you can tell when I'm lying, you should know without a doubt when I'm telling the truth." I put my face even closer to his. "Here's the truth. I.Will.Never.Ever.Go with you."Cole's eyes became tight,and then I saw something on his face I'd never seen before.Genuine pain.I took in a short breath of surprise, but I stood my ground. If the hurt on his face was as real as it looked, maybe that's what it would take to get him to back down.”

“Wow.You two seem to be right as rain again," Cole said from behind us. I could hear the undercurrent of rage beneath his voice. "I hate to interrupt this sudden case of the touchy-feelies, but with the three of us standing here, it almost feels like that spring day so long ago.Almost as if Jack hand't left for camp.Almost as if Jack had nothing to do with you going under,Nik."Jack winced, but he kept his eyes on me."You should've seen her.Did you know that when she left your dorm that night, she came straight to me? Begged to go with me. Barely able to breathe for the pain." He enunciated each word.I studied Jack's face and shook my head. Jack dropped his arm from my shoulders. "You never let me explain. I ran to you,but you drove off.You didn't trust me."There was silence for a few long moments. "Would either of you care to know my opinion?" Cole said."Shut up," we replied at the same time.Cole shrugged. "You know where to find me." He turned and walked across the parking lot to the sidewalk that led around the corner of the post office. I watched him until he disappeared, than I faced Jack again.Jack rougly ran both of his hands through his hair. "This is a mess." It sounded like he was talking to himself, not to me. "I know how it looked, but you should've let me explain. I hated you for leaving." He looked up at the sky. "I hated you."Jack took a step backward, away from me, and as he did,a voice called out to us. "Don't let him drive you apart!"We both turned toward the sound. Mary was sitting on a bench under the shelter of the bus stop. I hadnt noticed her before.She'd been watching us.She stood and came over. "That's what he wants. He's scared of anchors. I told you I have a theory about anchors.”

“I held the car key out, pointed and ready.Cole eyed the key. "Uh-oh. Is that key loaded?”

“Did you forgive her?"I looked at her with a start.Jack dropped his salad back in the bucket. "What?""Did you forgive Nikki?""Umm,Mary,I don't think you-" I started, but Jack interrupted me."No,it's okay.What do you mean, Mary?" He spoke slowly. "Did I forgive Nikki for what?"Mary frowned and reached under the separation glass and touched Jack's gloved hand. "Did you forgive her for leaving you?"Jack's lower lip sank,and his eyebrows lifted.He looked like he was about to speak,but no words came out of his open mouth.Mary leaned even closer and whispered, "I have a theory. A theory about anchors.""Oh," Jack finally said,his forehead now creased with confusion. "Anchors."The people in line behind Mary shifted impatiently."Um,Mary,you're holding up the line," I said. Mary looked at me as I continued. "Why don't you go grab a table,and I'll eat with you."The tension slipped from her face. "Okay. But hurry. My tee time's at one."She started down the line again.Jack's hand still rested in the lettuce, so I nudged him with my elbow, and he seemed to restart. "Don't worry about her," I said. "She gets confused easily.""That wasn't confusion." Jack kept his eyes on my face as he served the salad. "It was like she knew me. Knew us.Did you talk to her about us?""Of course not.She also knows about anchors,apparently.And she's late for her tee time.None of it makes sense.”

“Afternoon,Caputo," Cole said.Jack's face remained a cool mask. "Hello, Cole.Becks."Cole froze at Jack's casual use of his real name. His arm dropped from my shoulders. I couldn't help but smile. Jack looked at me. "I'll see you in Mrs. Stone's room, Becks. You're coming, right? Mythology paper?"I nodded.Just before he sauntered away, Jack winked at me and slapped Cole hard on the shoulder. "See you around, Neal.”

“Jack,I've messed up enough of you life.There's nothing you can do about Cole.I'll handle him. You don't have to-""Enough,Becks.This is what friends do. Before we got together, we were friends, remember? The friendship is still there,isn't it?"I didn't say anything for a moment. It was so much more than friendship on my side. Despite everything,I'd never stopped loving him."Isn't it,Becks? I mean,you didn't completely forget about me in the Everneath,did you?""No." Wasn't it obvious on my face? That he was the only thing I remembered? My memories of Jack should've been etched on my skin by now, for all the world to see."Okay.Friends talk.Friends help each other."I nodded."Friends don't eat friends' souls."I smiled. "Got it.""Can I ask you something else?""Of course.""Why did you finally decide to tell me the truth?"I traced my finger along the lip of my coffee mug. "It's probably nothing, but Cole seems anxious to keep me away from you in particular. I wanted to see how he'd react, and maybe that would give me an idea as to why."He grimaced. "I have an idea.""What?""He's in love with you."I wrinkled my forehead. "No he's not. He's not capable."Jack leaned forward. "Trust me, Becks. I know exactly what loving you looks like on a person.And he loves you."My face went warm and I looked away. If only Jack were talking about now,and not before. I shook my head. "There has to be something more to it."Jack put his chin on the palm of his hand. "Well,let's find out.""How?"Jack raised his eyes to meet mine, a shy little smile on his face, so different from his usual confident grin. "We'll spend time together. And let Cole know it.”

“I told him about how Cole wanted me to return with him.I told him almost everything. I didn't talk about what had happened just before I left with Cole and I didn't tell him that the Tunnels of the Everneath were coming for me soon. Jack would freak out if he knew I was leaving again, and I didn't want to waste time trying to convince him it was hopeless.I didn't tell him I'd thought of him every day. That even when every other memory had faded,he never left.”

“He took a deep breath and held out his hand. "We got off to a bad start, but you're obviously a friend of Becks's."Cole stared at his hand,stumped. He looked at me like, What the hell am I supposed to do with this? I'd never seen him so baffled.It was almost comical.Then the second-to-last thing that I ever would have anticipated happened. Cole took Jack's hand and shook it. "I'm Neal.""Jack." Jack briefly glanced sideways at me. "I'll try not to hit you again."Cole and Jack, shaking hands. I covered my eyes with my fingers,wondering when the world had officially tipped over onto its side.When I lowered my hand, they were both looking at me.I'd had enough awkward."Let's go," I said, tugging on Jack's arm.Cole frowned and looked away. "Take care of our girl," he muttered sarcastically.”

“I shouldn't have come," I said."Of course you should've. Otherwise I'd be fending off advances from Mrs. Stone.”

“Hey,Nik."I turned around to see Cole, dressed head to toe in black. Black suit, black shirt,black tie hanging loose around his neck.He looked me up and down. His gaze paused briefly on my legs, and his mouth opened slightly. I folded my arms."Um...you...look beautiful," he said."You look black," I replied."Thank you.That's the look I was going for." He held a hand out. "C'mon. Let's dance."I didn't move. "What were you going to show me?""Dance with me first."I shook my head."Look,Nik, I know you don't like public scrutiny lately. If you stand off to the side,all mopey and such, without a date,you'll stick out like a nun at a strip club." He leaned in. "Trust me, I've seen one. A nun at a strip club, that is.Everyone was staring at her.”

“So you're really going to the dance?"I nodded as I sipped from the mug."Alone?""Not technically.There should be other people there too."He raised his eyebrows. "Did my sullen daughter just make a joke?" I smiled as he gave a chuckle. "You always used to make jokes when you were nervous," he said. His smile disappeared and he put a hand on my arm. "Are you nervous?"He knew me better than I thought. "A little.""Then why are you doing? I mean, won't most everyone there have dates?" He cleared his throat. "Because Tommy and I have a mean game of Uno planned."I hugged him. "Thanks,Dad. Wish me luck.”

“I helped pull him up, although I doubted I was doing any of the actual work. Will was staring at me again. He turned away, toward Jack, and whisper-yelled, "I heard Nikki's back.""Yep," Jack grunted as Will stumbled over the curb. "She is.""How are you doin' with that news,little bro?"Jack looked at me when he answered. "Better every day.”

“Thanks," Jack said. "My car's back at the store.If we can just make it there."Will noticed me for the first time. "Hey. A girl." He studied my face for a moment, and then he gasped and stopped walking. "Nikki Beckett. You'd better get out of here before my brother sees you.He'd freak.""And,we're walking," Jack said, heaving Will forward."Oh,hey,Jack.Didn't see you there." Will smiled again,undisturbed. His eyes glazed over and he seemed to have forgotten all about me.Jack looked at me around the slumping head of his brother. "Will was wounded. And discharged."Will swung his head around to face me. "They expected me to wear pants!" He prayed the last word across my face, and I gagged at his foul breath. "Like,all the time...It was so hot." He stared at me again. "Hey, you look familiar.Hey,Jack,'member that girl-?""Yes," Jack interrupted."You know,the one who totally messed you up-""Yes," Jack cut him off again. His eyes met mine,and he gave me an apologetic grin. I felt my own lips turning up.”

“Jack was behind it,waiting, with the corner of his lip pulled up in not quite a smile. "What?" he demanded."What what?" I asked.He held my note up in front of my face. "What do you remember?"Everything. But I couldn't tell him that. I shrugged and said, "Things." Then I made a move to leave,but Jack's strong arm blocked my way,his hand pressing against the locker behind my back."No you don't.You can't leave a note like this"-he waved the paper-"and then say 'things.' I want to know what, exactly, you remember."People in the hallway stared and I could feel my face going red. Jack noticed, and put his other arm up against the lockers,blocking me in. My pulse went nuts.It had to be visible on my wrists.Jack's face was inches from mine. His breath was minty, and I could smell the rustic scent of his aftershave,and whatever strong emotion he was feeling, it tasted sweet. I breathed it in, and the inhalation was embarrassingly loud.His eyes searched mine. "This is the first opening you've given me, and I'm not letting you get out of it." He paused. "What do you remember?"I looked behind him, at the curious spectators, and squinted my eyes shut, unable to bear the scrutiny anymore."Say something,Becks. Say anything.""You," I said. "I remember you." I kept my eyes shut,and felt his hands drop. He didn't move back."What do you remember about me?" There was strong emotion behind his voice. Something he fought to control.With my eyes closed,I could easily picture the other side of the century. "I remember the way your hand could cover my entire shoulder. The way your lower lip stuck out when you were working out a problem in your head. And how you flick you ring finger with your thumb when you get impatient."I opened my eyes,and the words no longer got stuck in my throat on their way out. They flowed. "And when something surprises you and you don't know what to say,you get a tiny wrinkle in between your eyebrows." I reached up to touch the divot,then hesitated and lowered my hand. "It showed on the day the coach told you you'd made first-string quarterback.And it's showing now."For a moment the space between us held no tension,no questions, no accusations. Finally he leaned back, a stunned expression on his face. "Where do we go from here?""Nowhere,really," I whispered. "It doesn't change anything."Eyebrows still drawn together, he said, "We'll see." Then he turned and left.I tucked this moment away.In the dark,dank world of the Tunnels, I would call upon this memory. And there would be a flicker of candlelight. If only for a moment.I closed my eyes,as if my eyelids were the levers of a printing press,etching the fibers into my mind.Memories were outside Cole's reach.As long as I held them,memories were mine and mine alone.”

“I pushed his hair away from his eyes and took a closer look at his cheek. Maybe there really had been a boy in the street, but I also wouldn't put it past Cole to make one appear,if he had that power.Jack's eyes opened fully,and he looked at me with half a grin. "You remember the first time I told you I loved you?" His words slurred together."Shhhhh.Don't talk.The paramedics are on their way.""Do you?"I touched his cheek and he winced. I could almost taste his pain,as if it were a tangible element in the air.I could feel my body hungering for the hurt.It was the first time since I'd Returned that I craved someone else's energy.Even at my lowest point,those last moments in the Everneath,I'd never felt a need for it.Until now.Until I was faced with emotions this strong.He tilted his head toward me,and I jerked back. The taste in the air became bitter and sweet,a mixture of pain and longing."Tell me you remember," he said. "Please.”

“I'd like you to ask yourself, Who loses hope first? And who never gives up? Because it's not the supernatural abilities that set mythical characters apart." She leaned forward. "It's the decisions the human characters make,in impossible situations, that have us still talking about them centuries later.Heroes are made by te paths they choose,not the powers they are graced with.”

“Why do we hope when all hope is lost?”

“I come here for supplies.The cashier doesn't notice things."Great.She just admitted she's a shoplifter.”

“I hadn't learned anything new, except that another one of the Dead Elvises had an affinity for the Shop-n-Go. And Jack officially thought I'd lost my last marble.”

“I guess nothing says 'I'm sorry' like a tea cozy.”

“I closed my eyes and let the music take over, and when I opened them, Cole was watching me. As our eyes met, he didn't look away, and he didn't try to hide where his attention was.For some reason I was determined not to look away first, and before I knew it I'd gravitated to the stage. People turned to look at me,as if the momentary bond between us was visible,and I couldn't take the attention.I finally turned away.”

“Besides,we need help selling our T-shirts." He picked out one of the smallest ones that had been drying on the counter and held it up to me, playfully assessing the look. "Nik. All you need to do is wear this tonight, and we'll sell out."I glanced down at the shirt and then back up at Cole. "Yeah,I'm sure this is the look you were going for.""You can make anything look good," he said softly.”

“Making your own T-shirts? Don't you have people for that?" I asked. "Like professionals?""Well,I usually travel with an army of professional T-shirt makers, but today I thought I'd go it alone."Jack didn't take his eyes off me as Cole spoke. I wasn't sure he was even listening,or aware Cole was there."What are the screens for?" I asked."Elvis Presley as a corpse.You wanna come look?" Cole gave me a grin as if he'd just asked if I wanted to see rainbows being made."You had me at 'corpse.'"Jack chuckled. "Saying good-bye here. Remember?"I turned to Jack, rose up on my tiptoes, and kissed his lips lightly. "Two weeks,Jack. It'll fly by."I started to back up,but Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me close. "No you don't," he said. "The corpse can wait."He gave me a kiss that was not quite appropriate for public view,and I would've been embarrassed if I hadn't lost the ability to think straight. His arms reached around my back,and he pulled me in tight against him so that my feet were barely touching the ground. And things started disappearing around us,just like they did every time Jack kissed me.He pulled back. "What were you saying about two weeks?""That it will feel like forever," I said, breathless."That's better." Jack lowered his head so his forehead was touching mine. "Miss you.""Miss you too," I whispered.”

“Look,Nik.I can't lose you. We can be partners.With you by my side,and with the band backing us,we could take over. I want you by my side in the High Court?""What does that even mean? We'd be...together? Like, together, together?"Cole gave a sly smile. "We'd rule hand in hand. And as far as being together, we'd be as together as you'd allow."Annoyingly,my cheeks got all warm, and I turned away, frustrated at my reaction. I stood and went over to my desk chair to sit down.Cole chuckled. He pushed himself off the floor and walked closer to me,and the Shade at my shoulder pulled toward him. I wanted to hit it."Stay over there," I said."Why?" He held his hands up, all innocent-like. "Does my nearness affect you? That's what happens when you spend a century with someone.”

“Are you okay?" I asked, distracted. I wanted back inside the vision."Nothing a little mouth-to-mouth won't cure," he said,but he couldn't muster the energy to laugh at his own joke. "You're no good for me,Nik," he said in between gasps."What do you mean?"His breathing slowed a little and he looked up at me. "I can't say no to you.”

“You've never been in love?"He let out a quiet breath,and I felt him shake his head. "Easy to say. Harder to feel." He ran his fingers through my hair and tucked a few strands behind my ear. With a light voice, he said, "Out of curiosity, what would you have said if I wanted to...""I would've said no.""Yeah?"I nodded. "I'm glad you didn't, because that would have been awkward."His chest shuddered with laughter.”

“That looks cozy," I said in a timid voice.He turned at the sound and-taking in my appearance-immediately spit hot chocolate all over."What?" I demanded.With an obvious effort to compose himself, he forced his lips into a frown and wiped his chin with the back of his hand. "Breathtaking."I raised an eyebrow,and his lips started to quiver, and then there was no stopping him. The laughter came in waves."Well,that's not exactly the reaction I was going for," I said."Isn't it?" he said, gasping for breath.I put my hand on my hip and tapped my foot as he inhaled deeply and rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand. "Finished?" I asked.He shook his head. "I love you.""I'm sorry?""You heard me." He stood and walked toward me.I glanced down at my sweats,and then back at his face. "Did you not notice my getup?"He halved the distance between us. "Oh yeah. I noticed," he said,like it was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. His lips curled up into a smile."Okay,so that's not the reaction I was going for either," I said,taking a small step backward as he closed the gap between us.He grabbed my hands in his and his grin disappeared. "Becks.I think I know what you're worried about,but I meant what I said.I love you. And I would never push you."My entire body turned red. "But don't you mythological higher beings-" I tried to remember how Jules had put it-"need...the...um..."Jack looked confused,and then he chuckled. "Please don't even try to finish that sentence.”

“I decided to write a myth.""Have you figured out a topic? A moral conundrum?""Yes.""What is it?"I heard Jack's chair creak."It's about how there's no such thing as redemption," I whispered. "How you deserve what you get,and no higher power can save you."Mrs. Stone didn't answer immediately. The only sound in the room came from my own breathing. "What about heroes?"I hunched over and scribbled a few lines on my notebook. "There are no heroes." Sure,it wasn't an optimistic paper,but it was the only thing I could write passionately about.She was quiet for a moment again. When she spoke,her voice was gentle. "Okay. I'm excited to see what you put together."I nodded."And,Mr. Caputo? Everything going well with the personal essay?"I could only assume he nodded, because Mrs. Stone returned to the front of the classroom. My right hand started to tremble,and I clenched my pencil and began scribbling."You don't really believe that, do you?" Jack's voice was soft.I lifted my head, allowing my eyes to meet his for the first time in weeks. "It doesn't matter what I believe." I looked down at my notebook."Wait," he said.I turned back. "What?"He shrugged,then spoke in a low murmur. "Just stop hiding behind your hair for a minute."I closed my eyes,but I didn't turn away. "You're making things difficult, Jack Caputo," I whispered."At least you remember my name."I remembered everything. The first time he called me his girlfriend. The first time he told me he loved me. The first time I started to question whether or not I'd be able to hold on to him.The first time I knew I had to come back to see him again, at whatever cost.”

“You were broken before I ever took you to the Everneath.Remember how you were when you showed up on my doorstep? That had nothing to do with me.You came broken and that was the fault of this world.Not mine."I nodded again,a little less aggressively. "Why do you care if I get hurt?"All he said was, "I hate to see it.Whether you go with me or not,I don't like you getting hurt." But his face seemed to say more.As if there were something he wasn't telling me.Before I could ask him about it,his iPhone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out,read the screen, and then walked over to the window. "We'll finish this later.""Tell me why you care," I said.He put his hands on the windowsill. "Because it's you. Despite what you think of me,your pain will always be my pain.""There has to be more to it than that. What aren't you telling me,Cole?"He grinned. "How are you so good at reading me when you can't read anyone else around you?" He sighed, and as he climbed out the window,he said, "I love it.”

“Find somebody else to entertain you," I said."There is no one else."I turned a page in my notebook and started writing again. "There's always someone else.You've been Feeding off Forfeits for hundreds of years. Get a new one.""You don't give my job enough credit. It's really hard to convince a girl to follow me. The average pickup lines don't work so well. 'Hey,wanna get coffee? And then spend an eternity getting the life force sucked out of you?' They don't go for it.”

“It's just that even though I'm totally old and unhip,I remember what boys in high school were like.Especially the kind like Jack Caputo.""What kind is that?""The kind that doesn't even walk a girl to the door."I rolled my eyes. "Well,he would have, but he had to go drop off his other dates. There were three of us." My dad finally cracked a smile. "Good night,old man," I said,giving him a hug."Wait a sec,honey.Did I do that okay?"I pulled back. "Do what okay?" It hit me then that this was my first dance since my mom died.I felt a little guilty that I hadn't realized it before. It was just that the night was so perfect. Before he could explain, I said, "Yes.You did great.""Night,Nikki."The next morning,I found a note in my jacket pocket.I unfolded it and read two words, written in Jack's handwriting.Ever Yours.”