Carrie Jones
***SO MANY APOLOGIES***
Thank you all for reaching out and I'm so sorry.
Now onto the regularly scheduled bio:
Carrie Jones likes Skinny Cow fudgsicles and potatoes. She does not know how to spell fudgsicles. This has not prevented her from writing books. She lives with her cute family in Maine, but she grew up in Bedford, NH where she once had a séance with cool uber-comedian Sarah Silverman.
The Meyers brothers are from Bedford, too, so you’d think it would make Carrie funnier, coming from Bedford N.H. Obviously, something didn’t work.
Carrie has always liked cowboy hats but has never owned one. This is a very wrong thing. She graduated from Vermont College’s MFA program for writing. She has edited newspapers and poetry journals and has recently won awards from the Maine Press Association and also been awarded the Martin Dibner Fellowship as well as a Maine Literary Award.
Here’s the lowdown about Carrie…
1. Carrie can not drink coffee. It makes her insane. Do not give her caffeine.
2. Carrie is very responsive to loving strokes on the hair, kind of like a puppy. However, do not do this without asking first unless you are a ridiculously handsome man or an editor who is about to offer her a trillion dollars for the first draft of her novel.
3. Carrie is secretly really, really shy even though she’s pathetically outgoing in person. She has a very hard time calling people. So, if you want to talk to her, make the first move. And, if you’re her in-Maine female best friend, Jennifer, do NOT get mad at her because she is so bad at returning emails.
4. Carrie sometimes wears mismatched socks, if you do not think this is cool, do not tell her. You will hurt her feelings.
5. Carrie really, really wants you to like her books. Please like her books. PLEEEAASSSEEEE. She’ll be your best friend forever. That is, if you want a friend who is shy about calling and emailing and who wears mismatched socks and can’t drink caffeine and likes being pet on the head. Hhmmm….
6. Carrie is not above begging.
7. Carrie, like Belle in TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND drinks Postum. It’s for the same reason, too.
8. Carrie loves Great Pyrenees dogs. They are huge and white, and furry and it looks like they have white eyeliner and mascara on, which is way too cute. Do you have one? Send a picture!
9. Carrie lives in Maine. She has a hard time with this in the winter. It is bleak in Maine in the winter. Imagine everything shades of gray and brown and no green anywhere except for in people’s noses. This is Maine in Winter. Maine in summer is the best place in the world, so it’s a trade-off. Feel free to invite Carrie to your house in the winter, but not if it’s in Greenland, Canada, or anywhere north of Florida.
10. Forget that. She’d still probably come.
“That's when I realize how much I don't want to be alone, how sobbing should not be a solitary sport..”
“That's what people who love you do: they hold you and lie. They tell you that you're worthy, that everything will be all right, and they do that even when you both know without a doubt that this is not true, that is it nowhere near the truth.”
“Mom, I promised to behave. It wasn't easy. I mean, she couldn't help herself. She was all over this hunk of Navajo manhood and I had to keep telling her I'd promised not to let her violate me. Eventually she wore herself out and fell asleep.”
“What I have learned lately is that people deal with death in all sorts of ways. Some of us fight against it, doing everything we can to make it not true. Some of us lose our selves to grief. Some of us lose ourselves to anger.”
“I am not 'most' and I am not 'people'.”
“Is that Disney magic of pixie magic?" I kid... "It is life magic".”
“What we do,our choices, that's what defines us.”
“I had to keep telling her I'd promised not to let her violate me.”
“There's no other word that comes close to describing how you make me feel. Nothing.”
“I'll have you eating healthy eventually.Probably so. Seems like I'll do about anything for you.”
“It's going to come to fists eventually.”
“Attention, people talking about me: I. Am. Right. Here.”
“A cheerleader? Do I look like a guy who'd be interested in talking to a cheerleader?”
“Not ugly for someone her age, but what she's doing with those numbers and letters seem unholy.”
“Finally the bell rings and the teenage Pavlovian dogs mosve to the next kennel.”
“ I tucked the charred piece of her sweatshirt i had recovered into the back pocket of my jeans. I am glad she is with me now. Nick's anklet touches my skin. He is here too.”
“She is carrying round a pizza cutter 4 protection. She's so freaked. She wants me to carry a steak knife.”
“ I just think about how saying that you love someone can make your heart feel like some sort of brownie sundae, warm, gooey, sweet and good.”
“Who am I really? Am I still the same person if I'm not even technically a person anymore? Does being stronger make me different? Will it?”
“Tell Me Whom You Love and I'll Tell You Who You Are”
“I lean back down and press my lips against his" you're going to be safe. i swear.i'll keep you safe."his lips move beneath mine." I love you." his eyes are strong for a second, intense Nick eyes."I will always love you no matter what.""we'll always love each other," i say”
“I'll have to remember that next time," Nick says. "Instead of tying a pixie up to a tree when I don't have time to bring him back to the house, I can just knock him unconscious for hours with the power of a frozen everything bagel.”
“Anywhere I roam, where I lay my head is home.”
“I used to be embarrassed by my mom, but now I know what she is—she’s a hero.”
“Home is where the heart is.”
“It's a lot easier to understand things once you name them. It's the unknown that scares me most. - Zara”
“the PE teachers are into strudel," Issie says. '"I'm not sure why. It's so gooey." Gooey is good," Nick says. "Seriously?" I ask him. "You like strudel.""I like a lot of things that aren't good for me." He smiles slowly at me. My mouth must be hanging open because he starts laughing. "You made her blush!" Issie says. "Don't blush, Zara. He's just teasing.”
“Monsters? Why? Because we admit to the pain we cause? Admit we like it?...”
“It's just him and me and cookies.”
“Maybe,” he says slowly, as if each word is an effort, “she took advantage of me.”
“ Outside, a birch tree bends from the weight of the snow. it'll spring back up once the snow melts, back to its normal, upright self. could that happen to me ?”
“All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be someplace else.”
“I hang up. Actually, I smash the phone down because I take my anger out on inanimate objects. Which is better than taking it out on people, right?”
“You have to be able to catch someone to arrest them.”
“You were going to sacrifice yourself to save everyone else?"I cringed. "Then I wimped out.”
“…Sometimes there are things that people should be afraid of." "Like the dark?" She shook her head. "No, more the absence of light.”
“I'm not much of a distance runner, more of a sprinter.”
“It is love which made all this. War which protects it. With love comes responsibility and possibility, fear and hopes, quests and suffering.”
“She smirks."Are you attempting to stop me, little one?""Excuse me? Did you just call me 'little one'? What are you? Like, four feet tall?" I ask.”
“friends help friends fight pixies.”
“Kebencian adalah suatu emosi yang tak berguna”
“Pain shoots through my head. fireworks. explosions. all inside my brain. the white world goes dark and i know what's about to happen. i'm the one leaving. i am the one gone.”
“I crumple on my bed. For a second, i believed that what i wanted more than anything in the world had come true. For a second, i believed that my dad was back. but he isn't. He's gone again. he's really truly gone and i know it. i know i'll never see him again no matter how much i want to. The candle in me has blown out and i'm afraid, really, really afraid, because my biggest fear is true. i have to live my life without my dad, my running partner, the guy who taught me amnesty and sang john lennon songs really off key.”
“Hate is a useless emotion.”
“yes, you are. your dead," i say. "you left me. i saw you. you left me. snd now i'm here in maine where everything is crazy and you can't run at night and it's cold.”
“If i opened the door would he be there? would he smile at me and show his dimples? Would his cheeks be scruffy because he needed a shave? Would he hug me? all i've wanted all these monthes was for him to be alive.But i'd seen him on the floor. i'd seen him in the coffin. And you can feel it when someone has died, you can feel that his soul is gone, just gone, the emptiness of his body.”
“Issie asks, "Why iron?"Devyn goes into full geek mode and answers before I can, "Iron is one of the last elements that is created by stellar nucleosynthesis."I have no idea what he just said.Neither does anone else.”
“That is a definite no-no in the Good Father Handbook.”
“... no one can ever save someone else, you know? We can only save ourselves. You know that, don't you?”
“His reddish hair is rumpled, but in a deliberate I'm-in-a-boy-band way.”