Carrie Jones
***SO MANY APOLOGIES***
Thank you all for reaching out and I'm so sorry.
Now onto the regularly scheduled bio:
Carrie Jones likes Skinny Cow fudgsicles and potatoes. She does not know how to spell fudgsicles. This has not prevented her from writing books. She lives with her cute family in Maine, but she grew up in Bedford, NH where she once had a séance with cool uber-comedian Sarah Silverman.
The Meyers brothers are from Bedford, too, so you’d think it would make Carrie funnier, coming from Bedford N.H. Obviously, something didn’t work.
Carrie has always liked cowboy hats but has never owned one. This is a very wrong thing. She graduated from Vermont College’s MFA program for writing. She has edited newspapers and poetry journals and has recently won awards from the Maine Press Association and also been awarded the Martin Dibner Fellowship as well as a Maine Literary Award.
Here’s the lowdown about Carrie…
1. Carrie can not drink coffee. It makes her insane. Do not give her caffeine.
2. Carrie is very responsive to loving strokes on the hair, kind of like a puppy. However, do not do this without asking first unless you are a ridiculously handsome man or an editor who is about to offer her a trillion dollars for the first draft of her novel.
3. Carrie is secretly really, really shy even though she’s pathetically outgoing in person. She has a very hard time calling people. So, if you want to talk to her, make the first move. And, if you’re her in-Maine female best friend, Jennifer, do NOT get mad at her because she is so bad at returning emails.
4. Carrie sometimes wears mismatched socks, if you do not think this is cool, do not tell her. You will hurt her feelings.
5. Carrie really, really wants you to like her books. Please like her books. PLEEEAASSSEEEE. She’ll be your best friend forever. That is, if you want a friend who is shy about calling and emailing and who wears mismatched socks and can’t drink caffeine and likes being pet on the head. Hhmmm….
6. Carrie is not above begging.
7. Carrie, like Belle in TIPS ON HAVING A GAY (ex) BOYFRIEND drinks Postum. It’s for the same reason, too.
8. Carrie loves Great Pyrenees dogs. They are huge and white, and furry and it looks like they have white eyeliner and mascara on, which is way too cute. Do you have one? Send a picture!
9. Carrie lives in Maine. She has a hard time with this in the winter. It is bleak in Maine in the winter. Imagine everything shades of gray and brown and no green anywhere except for in people’s noses. This is Maine in Winter. Maine in summer is the best place in the world, so it’s a trade-off. Feel free to invite Carrie to your house in the winter, but not if it’s in Greenland, Canada, or anywhere north of Florida.
10. Forget that. She’d still probably come.
“Where'd the dog go?" I ask, sounding panicky."That wasn't a dog, Zara," he says, words whisper strong.I jerk my head up. "What was it then? A cat? A gerbil? A geriatric hamster?”
“I do a victory dance worthy of any NFL running back. Uh-huh.”
“Do you like me? You know, like me like me?"I cringe the moment I ask and cover my face with my hands. The smell of blood and trail dirt wafts into my nose. Something sinks inside me. What is it? Oh, I know, any dignity I could possibly have left.”
“Then he smiles at me and my heart starts beating harder, which I'm ashamed to admit, but it's true. Hearts betray you like that. This is why it's perfectly acceptable to be cardiophobic, afraid of hearts.”
“I stare up at Nick. "You're late.".... "I had things to take care of," he says, all growly, looking away from me and staring Ian down. They do the whole I'm alpha - No, I'm alpha thing, with the staring and pulling the shoulders back and posturing.Devyn whispers to Issie, loud enough for us to hear. "They're so sad sometimes."She whispers back, "I know.”
“... we all need a little bit of rescuing from time to time. It doesn't make us weak.”
“He likes you, Zara. He took care of you. That's what men do when they take a shine to you.”
“That Nick is a nice boy."I eyed her. "He doesn't like me.""Really? Are you trying to convince yourself or me? Because I found him pressing a bandage to your head while you were passed out drooling on the couch.”
“What?""That's sweet."I am sweet. My heart flip-flops and I bite my lip a little bit. Sweet as in a lollipop, or sweet as in a girl you wold like to kiss passionately in the stacks? That's the question.”
“Pixies have to be invited in, like vampires. I read it on the Internet.""Well, there you go," I mutter. "Then it must be true.”
“You're pouting. Pouting is not allowed. It's too cute.”
“Why are there no names for the abscence of things? Why is there no name for the abscence of humanity? ”
“There are people who like cute, furry things and people who eat cute, furry things-Issy, pag. 53”
“The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of freedom is courage.”
“Mrs Nix smacks herself in the head again. If she keeps that up she'll bruise”
“She bonks her head so hard with her hand i want to get her an ice pack”
“You will be a great queen when you come back, you know. And someday you'll love me the way you love your wolf.”
“I told them he hit on me and that I was showing him my wrestling moves. I think they maybe believed it." I pull on my seat belt and roll down the window even though it's cold. I need to be able to smell for pixies. "We can't leave until everyone's out. I want to be sure nothing happens." "Did they really believe you Devyn asks.My breath whooshes out with the reality of it and I adjust my previous statement. "I don't think so.""Well there's another lovely complication." Devyn groans.”
“Astley comes to my side. "Are you well?" "No," I tell him, voice hoarse. "I am not well. I am broken inside. I am broken almost all-the-way deep, and I don't know...I don't know if I can ever be unbroken, let alone well again”.”
“It's hard to save the world when you can't save yourself”
“He wipes his hand on his shirt. What? Did I drool on you?" A little." You're a wolf. You should be used to drool." That's low.”
“I like a lot of things that aren't good for me.”
“If you pass out, I'll put you in my lap and wheel you across the finish line”
“The only thing that scares me now is me.The [person] I might become. The [person] I dont ever want to be.Everybody has fears, right? But how many have my fear?Enough, it seems. Because there's a name for it.Autophobia.Fear of oneself.”
“you have to face your fear.”
“There is no easy off button for your brain.It would be really really nice if there were.”
“I want you to want me because you want me, not because of grief, not because he is not here. I want you to love me for me. I want you to kiss me first and not because you need me to help you, but because you need to kiss me.”
“There is something about libraries, old libraries, that makes them seem almost sacred. There's a smell of paper and must and binding stuff. It's like all the books are fighting against decay, against turning into dust, and at the same time fighting for attention.”
“There are so many layers inside of people, so much soul pain and angsty depth and heart hurt, and some ... hide all this so well that when it comes out in an action as simple as a nod, your entire world shifts a little bit on its axis.”
“Nobody is perfect, though. We all want everyone to think we are, but perfection is some crazy mythical state that we can never achieve. It is a goal beyond our grasp, always shifting and changing and taunting us, because it knows...it knows we can never reach it.”
“We are not defined by our species any more than our nationality or our gender. What we do , our choices, that's what defines us.”
“I stomp toward her and point. I've SO had it with her. "That is SO not nice."You don't even talk like a queen." She glares at me.Nick raises an eyebrow at me. "You're a QUEEN?"I walk to the edge of the bed, stand just a few inches away from her. Power rolls off of her. "Okay, please refrain from your insidious comments, which are obviously geared to inflict harm upon my psyche. I do not appreciate it."Nick cracks up. "Well, you ARE the same Zara.”
“I am not a good fighter," I try to explain again, fingering the edge of my shirt. "I mean, I am really bad at fighting, not as bad as my friend Issie, who is possibly the least fightery person in the world. I mean, I'm getting better, but still... I mean-- oh I'm sorry. I'm babbling.”
“He's going macho again," Dev says, totally nonchalantly, while he unlocks the door.He's always going macho," Is adds. "It must be the wolf thing."I am not going macho. I am always macho," Nick says.”
“You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it's how we glue those fractures back together that make us stronger.”
“Issie?“After a second her voice comes out small and tired. “I'm not here.““Oh.“ I back up so I can stare at the bathroom door. No feet. “Then I should probably freak out because the toilet is talking back to me, huh? A little too many pain meds for Zara today.”
“I promise you. You will survive this. Feel my hand. It is yours now, my queen. I promise you. I am yours.”
“Reality isn‘t round, it‘s flat. There are edges where you can fall off and this October when I moved to Maine, I fell off one.”
“You are totally kissable. If I were a guy or gay or bi or something I would absolutely kiss you.”
“Loving you is a full-time job. It's a great job, don't get me wrong. It's the best job in the universe. But it's not easy.”
“She is really nice and everything, but totally not made of awesome the way Issie is.”
“I swear his pheromones have my freaking name written on them. They hone in and attack.”
“We all live with our losses. We don't want to, but we can”
“Losing people you love affects you. It is buried inside of you and becomes this big, deep hole of ache. It doesn't magically go away, even when you stop officially mourning.”
“A pixie's true skin color is blue. Cookie Monster, Grover, and other lovable Muppets are also blue. Do not confuse the two. Muppets don't kill you. Usually.”
“Zara, sympathy is just a good excuse to buy greeting cards and make sorry eyes and secretly gloat over how glad you are that you aren't the person whose crap is hanging out for everyone to see.”
“Why would I want to fit in?”
“He has an armload of irises and daisies and tulips and he presents them to me. "I didn't know what kind of flowers you like.""I like them all.""Yeah?""Yeah."He tries to hand them to me, but then remembers the cast. "I'll put them in water."Betty swoops in the room ridiculously fast and she grabs the flowers out of Nick's hands. "I'll take care of them. You lovebirds just sit on the couch and think swooning things at each other.”
“I start to grab it so I can it pass it to him. He reaches for it at the same time. Our fingers touch, and the moment they do the fluorescent lights overhead flicker and then fizzle out.Everyone moans, even though we can all still see. There's enough light from outside filtering in, just not enough for us to really focus on the finer details.Nick's fingers stroke mine lightly, so lightly that I'm almost not sure the touch is real. My insides flicker like the art room lights. They do not, however, fizzle. I turn my head to look him in the eye.He leans over and whispers, "It will be hard to be just your friend.”
“This guy named Ian that I met at school. He wants to go to the DMV with me."She hands me a plate to dry. "Well, there's true love."I snort.”