Derek Landy

“Valkyrie: “You are such a moron.”Skulduggery: “Don't be jealous of my genius.”

“Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough”

“So that plan worked out well.""Skulduggery, your entire plan consisted of, and I quote, "Let's get up close and then see what happens."'"All the same," he said, "I think the whole thing worked out rather beautifully.”

“We didn't die,' she said.Of course not. I'm too clever to die, and you're too pretty.'I am pretty,' Valkryie said, managing a grin.”

“Vengeous scowled. 'As you can see,' he said, 'you are vastly outnumbered.'I usually am.'Your situation has become quite untenable.'It usually does.'You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.'Skulduggery paused. 'Okay, that's a new one on me.”

“Are you going to shoot me?' Vengeous sneered. 'I wouldn't be surprised. What would a thing like you know about honor? Only a heathen would bring a gun to a sword fight.'And only a moron would bring a sword to a gunfight.”

“If things go wrong, I'll lead them away. Once it's clear, get back to the car. If you don't see me in five minutes, then I've probably died a very brave and heroic death. Oh and don't touch the radio--I've got it tuned right where I want it and I don't want you messing that up.”

“He looked at her. 'In order to finish, I'll have to have defeated six Infected, Dusk, and Vengeous himself.'Yeah. So?'The Infected I can manage.'She frowned. 'And Vengeous? I mean, you can beat him, right?'Well,' he said, "I can certainly try. And trying is half the battle.'What's the other half?'He shrugged. 'Hitting him more times than he hits me.”

“Enjoy that?" Tanith said with a little grin.Valkyrie grinned back, her eyes bright. "I keep telling Skulduggery he should get a bike.""What does he say?""He says people who wear leathers, like you, should ride motorbikes. People who wear exquisite suits, like him, should drive Bentleys.”

“That's beautiful,' Valkyrie said, looking at it.Isn't it? This necklace has cost two very fine men their lives. At times, I wear it in tribute to their sacrifice. Other times, I wear it because it goes with this skirt.”

“We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant”

“You can only anticipate what someone is going to do if you know exactly what that someone has just done.' --Skulduggery”

“Found something?”“No, sorry. I thought I had, but, no, it turned out to be, uh… more floor.”

“Doors are for people with no imagination.”

“He is the best, in my whole life i have only read his books!!!!!!”

“Dublin City was quiet when they reached the Waxwork Museum, as if it was holding its breath.”

“By the time they got to Denholm Street, day had been beaten back and the night was soaking through the city.”

“If there is one regret that I have had in my life, it is that I never fathered any children. There are times, when I look at what Fergus and Beryl have produced, when I consider myself fortunate, but there are also times when it breaks my heart.”

“He does this on purpose," Stephanie's mother said as they sat in the car, seat belts on and ready to go. They watched him appear at the front door, shrug into his jacket, tuck in his shirt, go to step out, and then pause."He looks like he's about to sneeze," Stephanie remarked.”

“Valkyrie, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your friend is most likely dead.” “Of course he’s dead. He’s a skeleton.”

“Are you taking my hat hostage?”

“I'm fairly certain. I could be some ghastly hallucination, a figment of my own imagination”

“So he has no head''Thats usually what headless means''No head at all?''Your really not getting the whole headless thing are you?''Its just kind of silly even for us...”

“I woke up, a bag of bones. Literally. They had gathered up my bones and put them in a bag and thrown the bag into a river.”

“You're not stealing anything, you're not breaking anything, so I'd guess you're Stephanie.”

“Is he all scarred now?”“Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.”

“Stairs," Valkyrie said, disappointed."Not just ordinary stairs," Skulduggery told her as he led the way down. "Magic stairs.""Really?""Oh, yes."She followed him into the darkness. "How are they magic?""They just are.""In what way?""In a magicky way."She glared at the back of his head. "They aren't magic at all, are they?""Not really.”

“Kindness suits you.""Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.”

“They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.”

“It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -”

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”