Ellen Hopkins

“Freedom is a double-edged ideal, because true freedom comes without the protection of laws that also enslave us by defining us--female, male; Christian, Islamic; good, evil. All at the whim of a frail minority.”

“Anger is a valid emotion. It's only bad when it takes control and makes you do things you don't want to do.”

“Have you ever once in your life reached out to touch infinity?”

“Can a dream be wrong? Aren't dreams God's way of telling you things?”

“Love is only found in books”

“Or might the soul clone itself,create a perfect imitationof something yet to bedefined? In this way,can a reflection be altered?”

“RaeanneMirror, MirrorWhen I look into amirror,it is her face I see.Her right is my left, doublemoles, dimple and all.My right is her left,unblemished.We are exactopposites,Kaeleigh and me.Mirror image identicaltwins. One egg, one spermone zygote, divided,sharing one completeset of genetic markers. On the outside we are the same. But not inside. I thinkshe is the egg, somuch like our motherit makes me want to scream.Cold.Controlled. That makes me the spermI guess. I take completelyafter our father.All Daddy, that's me.Codependent. Cowardly. Good, bad. Left, right. Kaeleigh and Raeanne. One egg, one sperm. One being, split in two. And how manysouls?”

“Heart Breaking,I think that if Dad, staring down the sight of a 10mm,would only tell me he loves me,I could easily change my mind......but he won't.”

“My life is over.My one forever love hasbeen snatched away,condemned by my ownfather's rules to die,just because he loved me.I am without a home,without a single person to love.And after havingdiscovered love, lived for a shortwhile surrounded by love,that is to much to bear.I am a pariah, at church,at school. The few peopleI once called friends havebetrayed me and causedthe death of my husband,our innocent child.And so they should die too.All of them. Dad. BishopCrandall. Trevor, Becca, Emily.With the pull of a 10mm hairtrigger, their lives will end at sacrament meeting.Such lovely irony!And when I finish there,I'll hide in the desert,reload, and go in searchof Carmen and Tiffany,who started the rumors.And Derek, just because.”

“Face red, but brave in spite of it, Ethan offered an even smaller box. My hands shook as i opened it.Set in a gold promise ring, three small diamonds glittered. One for you, one for me, one for us, he said sweetly. I love you.”

“You can have your pick of pretty women. Why me?You're like the ocean, Pattyn. Pretty enough on the surface, but dive down into your depths, you'll find beauty most people never see. Lucky me. I fell in, headfirst.”

“I need to capture my sprite with trembling hands. Except I could crush her. Wonder how many small things of beauty - flowers, seashells, dragonflies - have met such a demise. Wonder how much fragile love has collapsed beneath the weight of confession.”

“the not-so-bookish librarian was half angel, half she-devil, so sayeth the rumor mill.”

“Without Warning:Sometimes your traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you don't wake up. But if you happen to, you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives intersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi.”

“I only have have one question, scraping the inside of me. Answer it, and I will stumble back into her shadow, shut my mouth, never ask again. I've tried to ignore it, but it won't go away. It haunts my dreams, chases me through every single day, and I don't have the strength to turn around, face it down. So please tell me and I swear I'll never ask again. It's in your power to make it go away, and all you have to do is tell me why you love her more.”

“THE BAD THING ABOUT FEARIs it requires a reaction. Some hide.Some cry. But, like a dog condemnedto a walled yard with no hopeof escape or affection, some learnto bite.”

“Too much to take in, too much to purge. Why must every memory, once sweet, dead end in such ugliness?”

“One foot in front of the other, counting tiles on the floor so I don't have to focus the blur of painted smiles, fake faces.”

“Standing HereMy entire world far beneathmy feet, I should be filledwith pride. Instead, I feeloverwhelmed by a sense of defeat.Suddenly it comes to me,toes tempted to test the ledge,that there is a way out of this.Clam surety flows throughmy veins, and as I turn to wavegood-bye, I wonder if it willhurt or if a single personwill cry at my funeral.I take a deep breath, a finaltaste of sweet mountain air.I conjure Leona, Emily.Move my feet closer. CloserThere's Grandma One, GrandmaTwo, and their spouses, waitingfor me. I see Dad. Cara. Mommy.I screw up my courage, step over”

“Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us.Every flaw he held and every perfection he flaunted made her love him even more."I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air.”

“I still care for you, you know..That phrase again. Everyone cares for me. They just don't know how to love me.”

“TRIAD:Three separate highways intersect at a place no reasonable person would ever want to go.Three lives that would have been cut short, if not for hasty interventions by loved ones. Or Fate.Three people, with nothing at all in common except age, proximity, and a wish to die.Three tapestries, tattered at the edges and come unwoven to reveal a single mutual thread.”

“This time when we kiss, I feel it in the pit of my stomach, I feel it in my heart. And I realize love isn't about sex. It's about connection.”

“Memory is a tenuous thing. . . .flickering glimpses, blueand white, like ancient,decomposing 16mm film.Happiness escapesme there, where facesare vague and yesterdayseems to come tiedup in ribbons of pain.Happiness? I look for it inteadin today, where memoryis something I can stilltouch, still rely on.I find it in the smilesof new friends, the hopeblossoming inside.My happiest memorieshave no place in thepast; they are thoseI have yet to create.”

“Did you ever, when you were little, endure your parents’ warnings, then wait for them to leave the room, pry loose protective covers and consider inserting some metal object into an electrical outlet? Did you wonder if for once you might light up the room? When you were big enough to cross the street on your own, did you ever wait for a signal, hear the frenzied approach of a fire truck and feel like stepping out in front of it? Did you wonder just how far that rocket ride might take you? When you were almost grown, did you ever sit in a bubble bath, perspiration pooling, notice a blow dryer plugged in within easy reach, and think about dropping it into the water? Did you wonder if the expected rush might somehow fail you? And now, do you ever dangle your toes over the precipice, dare the cliff to crumble, defy the frozen deity to suffer the sun, thaw feather and bone, take wing to fly you home?”

“Forever has no meaning when you're living in the moment. I wasn't ready for that moment to end.”

“How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall?”

“Have you ever had so much to say that your mouth closed up tight struggling to harness the nuclear force coalescing within your words? Have you ever had so many thoughts churning inside you that you didn’t dare let them escape in case they blew you wide open? Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t look in the mirror for fear of finding the face of evil glaring back at you?”

“Funny thing, your brain,how it always functions on onelevel or another. How, even stuck insome sort of subconcious limbo, it worksyour lungs, your muscle twitches, your heart,in fact, in symphony with your heart, allowing itto feel love. Pain. Jealousy. Guilt. I wonder if it’s thesame for people, lost in comas. Is there really such a thing”

“How could I share theway my heart was breakingwhen my confessordidn’t believe”

“Smile. Nod. Saysomething wittybefore he findsout what an incrediblegeek you are.”

“Sometimes you're traveling a highway, the only road you've ever known and wham! A semi comes from nowhere and rolls right over you. Sometimes you dont wake up. But if you happen to you know things will never be the same. Sometimes that's not so bad. Sometimes lives instersect, no rhyme, no reason, except, perhaps, for a passing semi.”

“Life is all about change. If it were static, think about how boring it would be. You can't be afraid of it, and you can't worry that you'll mess things up. You deserve good things, and I want to be one of them.”

“God i've missed you. I can't wait to give you your present. He kisses me hotter this time, and beneath me, through his denim and mine. I can feel the promise of his Christmas gift soon to come.”

“Love is just another word for sex.”

“Forever made that kiss stand out in my mind, touch my heart, make me remember a kiss so tender.”

“No way to get away. No way to get away. Little change to sneak away... insanity.”

“You're a gift, one I'll always treasure. You're a dream I never want to wake up from. You open my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me. Be safe. Be smart. Stay you.”

“The problem with being grounded is it gives you a whole lot of unavoidable time to think. NOt even pulling weeds can take away your ability to plot all the varied and wonderful things you might do to get even, or at least to make up, just get a smidgen for time lost to TV and yard work and house cleaning.”

“Detailed descriptions, abstract ambitions, relevant observations, your's and mine.”

“Our meeting, touching, accidentally connecting immediately, interwoven hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart.”

“Red and raw like my brain, unable to shut down, thoughts crashing like electrons orbiting a nucleus of deuling emotions.”

“Red and raw like my heart, pried from your's, the two beating, no longer together, but a thousand miles between them when only yesterday they thumped in unison.”

“With you, I am Adam. And you are my beautiful Eve. Let's run away, find our garden, live there together, happy. Naked.”

“Your hurt swallows ine, like space swallows time, and the two intertwine. We tangle together.”

“Hot flush, raging bluch. Ice flash, instant crash.”

“Because to tell you the truth, most of the time dying seems pretty much like my only means of escape”

“revenge is living well with out you.”

“Real love finds you once, if you're lucky.”

“I really have to wonder who or what made Daddy become this way. Babies aren't born cruel or filled with sick desire. Evil is not intrinsic. It's fashioned.”