Ellen Hopkins

“The monster likes to talk; he jumps into your head and opens your mouth, making it spout your deepest darkest deceptions. Making you say all the things you'd rather not say, at least not in mixed company." (Ellen Hopkins)”

“So when he asked about getting high, I didn't think, I agreed. We smoked some good California green. Took three tries to put me in the place he said I should be.”

“Alone, there is only the person inside. I've grown to like her better than the stuck-up husk of me. Alone, there is no perfect daughter, no gifted high school junior, no Kristina Georgia Snow. There is only Bree." (Ellen Hopkins)”

“I don’t think God has a gender. I don’t think God hates gays or Democrats, and I don’t think you have to be Born Again to find your way to Heaven. I believe God expects us to care for one another, even those who are different. God wants us to be good stewards of this planet, and that means not wasting or violating its resources. Most of all, it means not blowing it up. Especially not in God’s name.”

“life before the monster”

“It was body rushAfter body rush,intensity building. Touch me there.”

“My priest tells me i should not date a mormon but im just too in love with you that i'm willing to take risks”

“I love you so much when i see you i get butterflies”

“I get so nervous when im around you i start to studder”

“When i'm with you my blood flows smoothly through”

“Is it wrong to leave relative security in favor of unknown risk at the side of someone you love?”

“It's just so hard to feel good, you know?" I do know. And more than that, it's just so incredibly hard to feel.”

“My bodyHealed quickly. But the woundto my psyche was deep.Wide. First aid, too little, too late, left me hemorrhaging inside, the blood unstaunched by psychologicalbandage or love's healing magic.Eventually it scabbed over,a thick, ugly welt of memory.I work to conceal it, but no matter how hard I try, once in a whilesomething makes me pick at ituntil the scarring bleeds.In my arms, Ashante cries, innocence ripped apartby circumstance. Bloodied by inhuman will. Time will provea tourniquet. But she will alwaysbe at risk of infection.”

“Always before, I just said no, left it solidly there. I waver now. I want to share everything with him. Want to know what he knows, feel what he feels, share the same space he's in.”

“Think of how they must have loved when all they had was each other.”

“You were a summer gift, one I'll always treasure. You were a dream I never wanted to wake up from. You opened my eyes to things I'll never really see. You're the best thing that will ever happen to me.”

“Then teach me how to not care about someone who was everything to me. All I want is to know she's okay. Is that too much to ask?”

“This is unstoppable, no holds barred. This is beautiful. Crazy. A beginning. Betrayal. Addictive. Aggressive. Alive. This is something to be afraid of.”

“Certain of misfire, my heart threatens to stop.”

“Why doesn't love come with an owner's manual?”

“Wish you could turn off the questions, turn off the voices, turn off all sound.Yearn to close out the ugliness, close out the filthiness, close out all light.Long to cast away yesterday, cast away memory, cast away all jeapordy.Pray you could somehow stop uncertainty, somehow stop the loathing, somehow stop the pain.Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest.”

“I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air.”

“So you try to think of someone else you're mad at, and the unavoidable answer pops into your little warped brain: everyone.”

“Memory is a tenuous thing, like a rainbow's end or a camera with a failing lens.”

“Love is like that. I could crush her beneath the weight of confession.”

“Puzzle pieces don't always connect do they?”

“We used to do coke, till "Just Say No" put the stuff out of reach. Now it's crank. Meth. The monster. It's a bitch on the body, but damn do you fly.”

“Act on your impulse, swallow the bottle, cut a little deeper, put the gun to your chest.”

“I tattered their wings and tore off their legs, joint by joint, watched them crawl in circles, like little lost infants, untill they decide to die.”

“Taking no chances means wasting your dreams..”

“The Screamingflashed me back to a timewhen mom and dad were still togetherif you could call miles apart together.”

“you come home, and everyone talks at once and everyone asks questions, but no one waits for the answers.Instead they talk about themselves, what they've been up to, what they're going to do next,       as if you're a photo on the wall.And then they talk to one another, forgetting you've jsut flown in, forgetting you're in the backseat, forgetting they've already said it all.”

“empty and closed, hovering in some frozen netherworld neither sun nor rain could thaw.”

“he sucked the nectar from her heart like a famished butterfly.”

“Love means holding on to someone just as hard as you can because if you don't, one blink and they might disappear...forever.”

“It [death] chokes you, gags you, but you have to pretend that you're doing just fine, not trembling with this fear because the end is close.”

“Grandma once told me it's easy to overthink love, to dissect it and question it until it is no more.”

“in a woman's womb.another chance.to make the world better.”

“When you love someone, you don't want to hurt them, even if they deserve to be hurt. When you love someone, you want to hurt them, even when they don't deserve to be hurt.”

“you fly until you crash two days two nights no sleep,no food,come down off the monsterYOU CRASH REAL HARD”