Eoin Colfer

“There is always a use for everything, Victor had told him. Even pain.”

“Being part of a secret is a great source of strength.”

“All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket.”

“Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you.”

“Of course I saved you," she said. "I couldn't do without you." And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis, magic sparking around the contact like tiny fireworks.”

“Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.”

“Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.”

“Was there anything else? asked the centaur. Did Artemis say or do anything else?Holly shook her head miserably. No. He got a little sentimental, which is unusual for him, but understandable. He told me to kiss you.She stood on tiptoes and kissed Foaly’s forehead.“Just in case, I suppose.”Foaly was suddenly upset, and almost overwhelmed, but he coughed and swallowed it down for another time.He said, Kiss Foaly. Those exact words?No, said Holly, thinking back. He kissed me, and said, Give him that from me.The centaur grinned, then cackled, then dragged her across the lab.We need to get your forehead under an electron microscope, he said.”

“This is what love does, he realized, and in that moment he understood why Artemis had kidnapped a fairy to get the money to find his father. Love makes everything else seeminconsequential ”

“You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.”Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance.”

“Orion to holly : im just a teenager with hormones running wild. And may i say young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction”

“Anything else, Butler?""The cosh, sir.”

“He knew that Dr. Argon would advise him against bottling up his emotions as it would lead to psychological scarring in the long term.”

“Of course. Opal is toying with our emotions for her own gratification. Nothing more. She wishes to place herself in a position of power, emotionally.”

“Waitress: "And to drink?"Artemis: "Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.”

“Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.”

“How could you...? How?""Logically you have no right to be angry. I simply followed your lead." ...He is really going through with it."No," She managed. "There is no other way.”

“Don't hate me forever, Arty," whispered Holly. "I couldn't bear that.”

“Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. "Wait! Just wait," she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. "I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?"Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. "No," he said. "No plan.”

“I just pulled a pretty big job and needed to hide out for awhile." "...Where's all the loot?""That, as my cousin Nord would say, is where my improvised lie falls apart." Artemis put two and two together and arrived at a very unpleasant four."You were here to rob me!""No, I wasn't. How dare you?!”

“Nobody's death is impending." ..."Well technically everyone's death is impending.”

“Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was...She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself.”

“We lost the crickets.”

“I am older and have more control over my empathy,' said Qwan. 'That's why I didn't throw up.' And having said that, he threw up.”

“How did that go?’ he asked. ‘Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age?’‘Fabulous,’ said Artemis, voice dripping with sarcasm. ‘We’re planning a June wedding.”

“I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland.A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change.”

“You don't understand!' Foaly objected.Trouble cut him off with a chop of his hand through the air. 'I never understand. That's why we pay you and your dork posse."Foaly objected again. 'They are not dorks!'Trouble found space for yet another holster. 'Really? That guy brings a Beanie Baby to work every day. And your nephew, Mayne, speaks fluent Unicorn.''They're not all dorks,' said Foaly, correcting himself.”

“Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss.”

“Onscreen, Foaly rubbed his eyelids with his index fingers."Yeah, yeah. Here we go. Captain Short goes rogue once more. Hands up who's surprised. Anyone?”

“Chaos reigned, and the survivalists eagerly unwrapped the kidskin from their crossbows.Phase one of Opal's plan was complete.”

“That will be her undoing," gasped Artemis, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. "Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.""I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?" said Holly.”

“Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?"Artemis blinked. "Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity.”

“He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Okay. I said it, it's out there. And I am fine now. So let's move on, shall we? What's the plan?”

“I waved my hand in front of my face, obi-wan style. "I am not here." Niall's mucas glands kicked into overdrive. "Eoin's dead! And his ghost is standing right there on the grass!" Donal let out a long suffering sigh. "Eoin is being a writer." Niall calmed down, becuase everyone knows writers are weird and are always doing stupid thingss.”

“Either that boy is the sanest creature on Earth, he thought, or he is so disturbed that our tests cannot even begin to scratch the surface.”

“She can't afford to commit more troops,' Holly whispered. 'The gate is her priority, and she needs to have as many Berserkers watching her back as possible. We are secondary at this point.''That will be her undoing,' Artemis gasped, already suffering under the weight of the flak jacket. 'Artemis Fowl will never be secondary.''I thought you were Artemis Fowl the Second?' said Holly.”

“*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard”

“The person who sat the kid down on the breadboard to cut off thier diaper with a huge knife was the most elderly person in the family, who was blind in one eye..and had the shakes....of course the kids uncouncious, He's lost two pints of blood!”

“I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!”

“Yes. Because every family needs a laser for thier family jet.”

“I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.”

“Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese.”

“People are afraid of you, Arty. Girls are terrified of you. You’re a fifteen-year-old in a bespoke suit, and nobody died.”

“Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life.”

“Look at those two. Wasting time. You wouldn't catch me doing that.”

“Don't you worry about that, Mr. Adamsson. Why don't you head back to Reykjavik and spend some of that extortionate fee you charged me for a couple of hours' usage of your frankly third-rate restaurant and perhaps find a friendless tree stump to listen to your woes?”

“It would take less than a second for you to die. But that's quite long enough to be in mortal agony, don't you think?”

“HOLLY: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book?FOALY: No. I'm suggesting you do not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do, you have certainly never opened it.”

“So, let's make a deal: If you do not voice all the withering comments about the weight or uselessness of this jacket that are no doubt swirling in that big brain of yours, then I will not mention the super-laser episode again. Agreed?"This jacket is really cutting into my shoulders, thought Artemis. And it's so heavy that I could not outrun a slug.But he said, "Agreed.”

“Stupid. Stupid. Foaly, we are both imbeciles. I don't expect lateral thinking from the LEP, but from you..."... "What is it?" [Holly] asked, afraid of the answer, which must surely be terrible."Yeah," agreed Foaly, who always had time to feel insulted. "Why am I an imbecile?”