Huntley Fitzpatrick

“I scoop a clattering cascade of green apple Jelly Bellys into the white paper bag and remember when we were seven. I got stung by a jellyfish. Tim cried because his mother, and mine, wouldn’t let him pee on my leg, which he’d heard was an antidote to the sting.”

“How could Clay have said all that, smooth as Kentucky bourbon, and Mom just sitting there as if she’d already drunk the bottle...”

“You could have mentioned that this kid never sleeps,” Tim calls from the living room. We go in to find him slumped in the easy chair next to the pulled-out sofa bed. Andy’s sprawled out on the bed, long tan legs in a V, George gathered in her arms. Duff, still in his clothes, lies across the bottom, Harry curled in a ball on the pillow under Andy’s outstretched leg. Safety, as much as could be found, must have lain in numbers.Patsy’s fingering Tim’s nose and pulling on his bottom lip, her eyes wide-blue open.“Sorry, man,” Jase says. “She’s usually good to go at bedtime.”“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?”Jase laughs. “I thought it was about babysitting.”“Hell no, it’s addiction. That friggin’ mouse is never satisfied. You give him one thing, he wants something else, and then he asks for more and on and on and on. Fucked up. Patsy liked it, though. Fifty thousand times.” Tim yawns, and Patsy snuggles more comfortably onto his chest, grabbing a handful of shirt. “So what’s doin’?”We tell him what we know—nothing—then put the baby in her crib. She glowers, angry and bewildered for a moment, then grabs her five pacifiers, closes her eyes with a look of fierce concentration, and falls very deeply asleep.”

“It’s only been a few weeks and somehow I seem to have gotten far from shore.”

“Jase glances up to smile at me. “Don’t worry, Sam. It’s just us.”

“I like eggs and bacon," George tells me. "But" - his face clouds - "do you know that bacon is" - tears leap to his eyes - "Wilbur?”

“You're walking along on this path, dazzled by how perfect it is, how great you feel, and then just a few forks in the road and you are lost in a place so bad you never could have imagined it.”

“Everything was wonderful and then everything was awful.”

“It's just whether you're going to do a decent thing or keep doing shitty things. So choose. Just stop whining about it.”

“Just so you know, Alice’s nurse’s uniform is a pair of green scrubs. She looks like Gumby.”

“Being a politician is a lot like being an alcoholic in denial.”

“But here’s the truth: In movies, it’s never half so lovely as it is here and now with Jase.”

“I peer at them, noticing that they all say things like “A STEAL AT $ 3,999!” or “THEY DON’T MAKE ’EM ANYMORE” or “PURRS LIKE A TIGER CUB.”

“Bring her People magazine and a coconut FrozFruit,” I call after him. “Then you’re golden.”

“Our house contains all that’s high-end and high-tech and shiny clean. And three people who would rather be somewhere else.”

“Hey, he says again, sitting down next to me as though he knows me well. “Need rescuing?”

“He has the kind of Southern accent that makes you think of melting butter on biscuits, and porch swings.”

“The Garretts were my bedtime story, long before I ever thought I’d be part of the story myself.”

“Mines!” Patsy shouts, pointing at Tim. He goes to her, rumples her scanty hair.“See, hot Alice? Even the very young feel the pull of my magnetism. It’s like an irresistible urge, a force like gravity, or—”“Poop!”

“I haven’t seen Joel for a while. Where he once projected all laidback cool, now he’s edgy, stalking around the kitchen. Alice churns out pancakes and the younger kids sit at the table, watching as if their older siblings are Nickelodeon.”

“They say you never know what you would do in a hypothetical situation. We’d all like to think we’d be one of the people who gave up their lifejackets and waved a stoic good-bye from the slanting deck of the titanic, someone who jumped in front of a bullet for a stranger, or turned and raced back up the stairs of one of the towers, in search of someone who needed help rather than our own security. But you just don’t know for sure if, when things fall apart, you’ll think safety first, or if safety will be the last thing on your mind.”

“Pero aquí está la verdad: En las películas, nunca es ni la mitad de maravilloso como lo es aquí y ahora, con Jase.”

“Is Jase already going to marry you?"I start coughing again. "Uh. No. No, George. I'm only seventeen." As if that's the only reason we aren't engaged."I'm this many," George holds up four slightly grubby fingers. "Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family." Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. "George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on."George backs out of the room, but not before saying, "His bed's really comfortable. And he never pees in it."The door closes and we both start laughing.”

“The right thing to do is so easy to see when you're seventeen years old and don't have to make any big decisions. When you know that no matter what you do, someone will take care of you and fix everything. But when you're grown up, the world is not that black and white, and the right thing doesn't a tidy little arrow pointing to it.”

“...And the way he does look at me makes me feel absolutely beautiful.”

“Is Jase already gonna marry you?” I start coughing again. “Uh, No. No, George. I’m only seventeen.” As if that’s the only reason we’re not engaged. “I’m this many.” George holds up four, slightly grubby fingers. “But Jase is seventeen and a half. You could. Then you could live in here with him. And have a big family.” Jase strides back into the room, of course, midway through this proposition. “George. Beat it. Discovery Channel is on.” George backs out of the room but not before saying, “His bed’s really comfortable. And he never pees in it.”

“...And theway he does look at me makes me feel absolutely beautiful.”

“We get to the front door and I lean back against it. "Thank you," I repeat."You'd have done the same for me." Jase puts his thumb under my chin and tips it up. "It's nothing.""Well, except that I can't drive, and you never would have gotten yourself into that situation and---""Shhh." He pulls on my lower lip gently with his teeth, then fits his mouth to mine. First so careful, and then so deep and deliberate, that I can't think of anything at all but his smooth back under my hands. My fingers travel to the springy-soft texture of his hair, and I lose myself in the movement of his lips and his tongue. I'm so glad I'm still alive to feel all those things.”

“I sit up, edge over close to my window, and push it open, slipping one leg in, then the next, turning back to Jase. “Come on.” His smile flashes in the gathering dark as his eyebrows lift, but he climbs carefully in as I lock my bedroom door.“Be still,” I tell him. “Now I’m going to learn all about you.”

“There’s an opening at Mom’s campaign,” I say. “She needs all the help she can getnow that she’s totally distracted by Clay Tucker.”“Who the hell’s Clay Tucker?”“The…” Nan lowers her voice, even though all she says is: “…younger manSamantha’s mother’s dating.”“Your ma’s dating?” Tim looks shocked. “I thought she pretty much confined herselfto a vibrator and the shower nozzle since your dad screwed her over.”

“I cannot help but wonder if any parents ever actually schedule in adolescent drama on their day planners. Looks like a slow week, Sarah. I guess I can pencil in your eating disorder.”

“What's up with this sudden obsession with Jakes physique? He shoots me a look that asks: Is he measuring me for a coffin?”

“Do you know how many times I've read "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" to this kid? That is one fucked-up story. How is that a book for babies?”

“So now you've met my mother,' I say to Jase that night, leaning back on the roof. 'I sure have. That was awesome. And completely uncomfortable.”

“Mom. He didn't do drugs. I've told you that before. He was just weird.”

“Right. A tiki bar will blend in great with the whole Henry VIII vibe going on at the B&T. Bring me a scorpion bowl, wench.”

“I can't help but notice that...well, you're in my life...at our house, with my family, in my world. But am I really in yours?....”

“Did you know that in space it's very, very cold? And there's no oxygen? And if an astronaut fell out of a shuttle without his suit he'd die right away?"I'm a fast learner. "But that would never happen. Because astronauts are really, really careful."George gives me a smile, the same dazzling sweet smile as his big brother, although at this point, with green teeth. "I might marry you," he allows. "Do you want a big family?”

“But Ma, I have the power to save her!"-TIM”

“I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way.”

“No bikinis on a first date.” He nods. “I’m sure that’s a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway.”

“This is Sailor Supergirl,” George says. “She knows all about black holes.”

“When I turn back to Jase, he’s again beaming at me. “You’re nice.” He sounds pleased, as if he hadn’t expected this aspect of my personality.”

“Jase props himself up on an elbow, looking at me for a minute without saying anything. His face gets an unreadable expression, and I wish I could take back walking over.Then he observes, “I’m guessing that’s a uniform.”Crap. I’d forgotten I was still wearing it.”

“Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives.”

“Maybe if I can just sleep for a hundred years, I'll wake up in a better story.”

“Why do all the hot girls want the jocks and the good boys? We losers are the ones that need you.”

“He instantly covers my fingers with his own, giving me his slow, intoxicating smile. I feel a pang, as though I'm handing over a part of myself I've never offered before.”

“Who are these people, and why do they think their own opinions are the only right ones?”

“I don't know. I didn't have that choice. But I know what's happening now. And I'm choosing to stay with you.”