Ilona Andrews

“Yep, Atlanta was burning. Again.”

“People around me died, usually in horrible and bloody ways.”

“Who is Hunter Becker?""Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?""I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing.”

“Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?''He's a teddy bear,' I said.Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal.(Rene and Kate on Jim!)”

“Andrea raised her hand. “This is the hand that slapped Aunt B.”“Maybe you should have it gold-plated.”“Here, you can touch it, since you’re my best friend.”

“The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I didn’t need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now.I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet wouldn’t have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation.”

“When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out.I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time?”

“He whirled in the water and grinned at me. Damn, he was a handsome bastard. I realized he was half-naked. Blue swirls of tattoos painted his chest. When God made that chest, he did to tempt women.”

“Too much excitement, Your Majesty?” I asked.“He was standing too close.”“He was asking about Andrea.”“Too close. I didn’t like it.” Curran wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started walking,steering me away from the group. His Possessive Majesty in all of his glory.”

“I’d missed him so much, it almost hurt. It started the moment I left the Keep and nagged at me all day. Every day I had to fight with myself to keep from making up bullshit reasons to call the Keep so I could hear his voice. My only saving grace was that Curran wasn’t handling this whole mating thing any better. Yesterday he’d called me at the office claiming that he couldn’t find his socks. We talked for two hours.”

“Are you sure you know where you're going?" Andrea frowned."Would you like me to pull over and ask that bamboo for directions?""I don't know, do you think it will answer?"We peered at the bamboo."I think it looks suspicious," Andrea said."Maybe there is a heffalump hiding in it."Andrea stared at me."You know, heffalump? From Pooh Bear?""Where do you even get this shit?”

“Go home, kiss your wives, hug your children and put your affairs in order, because tomorrow I will burn your neighborhood to the ground. We will kill you, your families, your neighbors, your pets, and anyone who will stand in our path. An attack on my family will not go unpunished.”

“ I'll be busy for the next eight weeks, so let's set this for November 15th.MENUI want lamb or venison steak. Baked potatoes with honey butter. Corn on the cob. Rolls. And apple pie, like the one you made before. I really liked it. I want it with ice cream.You owe me one naked dinner, but I'm not a complete beast, so you can wear a bra and panties if you so wish. The blue ones with the bow will do.Curran,Beast Lord of Atlanta”

“So, regarding that tidbit about your having a fertile imagination when it comes to private activities," she said, fighting off anxiety. "Was it another lie?""Depends on how you look at it. It's not exactly a lie, and if you come with me to the Weird, you'll find that rumors of my 'creativity' when it comes to bed games with the opposite sex do exist. I started them myself and managed them very carefully. The trick with rumors is to feed them once in a while, so they don't die.”

“It became known that I had a rather fertile imagination, when it came to private activities."She stared. "What sort of private activities?"This time he did smile, and it turned his face wicked. "Disrobe, and I'll be happy to demonstrate.”

“How are you?""Perfectly fine," he said."Are your ribs broken?""Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully.""Did this settle anything?""It made me feel better," he said, sitting up. "Did you see me kick him in the kidneys?""I saw.”

“Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring hikers out in the Broken into thinking he was Bigfoot.”

“Grandpa?" Declan raised his eyebrows."We keep him in the shed out back," Jack said helpfully. "So he doesn't eat dog brains.”

“Our standard rate. A doubloon a day."It was generous. More than generous--some families would put him up for a week for a single coin."Half a doubloon a day," she said."No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount.”

“Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nobody came out, and laughed.”

“Yes I can,” Curran snarled. “Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do.”I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.”

“Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened.”

“Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked."Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it."Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall.The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman.He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack.”

“Jealous of the actors now, are we?" "What, of some fancy boy on the screen? Inconceivable." Oh, this was going to be good.”

“We were not finished yet, not even close. I could still smell her. I remembered what she felt like. What she tasted like. This wasn’t a casual sexual thing. This was a mating. I would have Kate as my mate. Whatever it took, no matter how long, she would be with me.”

“What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain."The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. "Well you don't look... female... in your pants.""That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?”

“But then I didn't run from my challenges. I met them straight on and bashed my head against them, until it left me hurt, bloody, and dazed.”

“He came for me. I couldn’t believe it.He came for me. Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in the middle of a magic jungle. Oh, you stupid, stupid idiot man. What was the God damn point of saving him only to watch him throw his life away?Kate for Curran”

“It wasn’t a bluff; I heard it in his voice. He would do it. He would walk away. “You would leave all these people, all the bowing, and the . . .” His gray eyes looked into mine. “If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things, and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you. I’ll be there. Wherever you want ‘there’ to be.”

“Let’s talk.” I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required.”

“Settle down, Princess. It’s not my first time.”

“You need a name.” I covered the receiver for a moment. “We need a team name.” “Hunters,” Raphael said. “Valiant Knights of the Fur,” Dali said. “Justice Group,” Jim said. “Since Justice League is taken.” “Fools.” Doolittle shook his head. “Fools,” I said into the receiver.”

“Why the rifle? Everybody knows you can’t shoot.” Who were these everybodies and would they like to stand in front of me, preferably within ten feet, so I could discuss this issue in greater detail.”

“She eats grass. Don’t ask.”

“And did you have to hack his arms off?” “Yes, I did. He wouldn’t go through the door.” “You say it like you’re proud of it."I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation.”

“He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. “Rape,” he promised. “Many, many times. Until you bleed . . .” “I’m so flattered.”

“His training had a fatal flaw: he cared. He asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner. He knew I liked green, and if he had a choice between a blue sweater and a green one, he’d buy the green one for me even if it cost more. I like swimming, and when we traveled, he made it a point to lay our route so it would go past a lake or a river. He let me speak my mind. My opinion mattered. I was a person to him and I was important. I saw him treat others as if they were important. For all of his supposed indifference, there is a town in Oklahoma that worships him and a little village in Guatemala that put a wooden statue of him at the gates to protect them from evil spirits. He helped people, when he thought it was right.”

“You sure you don’t want to kiss me good-bye, baby?”

“I see. Is Jim with you now?” “Yes, he is. We’re having rough sex. You’re interrupting.“What are you doing here?”“Looking for Jim in your bed.”“He isn’t here.”“I see that.”

“Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she’d hook me up with a clue”

“Long strands of drool stretched from between his fangs and dripped on the pavement, sending a heady scent of jasmine to swirl through the air. Perfumed monster spit. What was the world coming to?”

“Would you like to assist me with my choice of underwear as well?” My sarcasm whistled right over his head. “I would be delighted. While I’d love to see you in a balconette bra, I’m afraid for this particular occasion I would have to go with a foam-lined seamless due to the tight fit of the garment across your breasts . . . Perhaps I could come over and review what you have available . . .”

“I prefer the term ‘sexual deviant’ myself,” Saiman said.”

“You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You’d make a fortune.”

“Oh no, is it naked time?”

“You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep.""I only did it once.""Once was weird enough, thank you.”

“Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed.“Well, look at that.” I studied my free wrist. “Denied. Good-bye”

“He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. 'Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with the need to take off these awful clothes. What is happening? I do not understand. Oooh. Ahhh.' She touched her wrist to her forehead. 'Somebody help me. I'm being drenched with my own fluids.'Evil woman. 'See now, you shouldn't have done that,' Kaldar said. She gave him an innocent look. 'You've made yourself into a challenge. Now I'll have to seduce you out of principle.''You can try. Not that you'll get anywhere. If you were in love, that would be one thing, but we both know this is pride talking.' Audrey patted his forearm. 'It's all right. I won't tell anybody about your shameful failure. I'll keep it completely confidential.' She pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key.'I'll remind you of this when you're collapsing on my sheets, all happy and out of breath.' He leaned closer. "I'm picturing it in my head. Mmm, you look lovely.''Whatever fantasies help you get through the day.' Audrey said.'So kind of you.''I'm all about being charitable when it doesn't cost me anything.'Charity? For me? Before this was all over, either they would be lovers or they'd kill each other. Right now, he had no idea which it would be.”

“The heavy eyelids snapped open. Jack froze. A huge gold-and-amber eye, as big as a dinner plater, stared at him. The dark pupil shrank, focusing.Jack stood very still. The colossal head turned, the scaled lip only three feet from Jack. The golden eyes gazed at him, wirling with fiery color.Jack breathed in tiny, shallow breaths. Dont blink. Don't blink... Two gusts of wind erutped from the wyvern's nostrils Jack jumped straight up, bounced off the ground into another jump, and scrambled up the nearest tree.In the clearing, Gaston bent over, guffawing like an idiot. 'It's not funny!”

“George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forwar, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, 'My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence.”