Jamie McGuire

“Travis’ eyes turned soft, and the corners of his mouth turned up. “Our friendship? Sometimes I wonder if you listen to me at all.”

“That was before I saw the look on your face when you heard what everyone’s saying. I don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”“You would never do anything to hurt me.”“I’d rather cut off my arm,” he sighed.”

“His eyebrows pulled in, and then he cradled me to him with both arms, still staring out the window. “I watch you sleeping a lot. You always look so peaceful. I don’t have that kind of quiet. I have all this anger and rage boiling inside of me—except when I watch you sleep.”

“I meant what I said before. You need to walk away, Pidge. God knows I can’t walk away from you.”I touched his arm. “You don’t want me to leave.”Travis’ jaws tensed again, and then he took me under his arm. He paused for a moment, and then kissed my forehead, pressing his cheek against my temple. “It doesn’t matter how hard I try. You’re going to hate me when it’s all said and done.”I wrapped my arms around him. “We have to be friends. I won’t take no for an answer,” I quoted.”

“His jaw was tensed, but it was no longer the frightening expression he had in the cafeteria. He seemed sad. The deep, hopeless kind.”

“America and Shepley followed behind him. “Let’s just hope no one is stupid enough to say anything to him,” America said.“Or her,” Shepley added.”

“America glanced at Travis before shoving the Honda into gear. “Look at him,” she said, shaking her head. “Travis Maddox: Mr. Mom.”

“Thanks for staying with me last night,” I said, stroking Toto’s soft fur. “You didn’t have to sleep on the bathroom floor.”“Last night was one of the best nights of my life.”I turned to see his expression. When I saw that he was serious, I shot him a dubious look. “Sleeping in between the toilet and the tub on a cold, hard tile floor with a vomiting idiot was one of your best nights? That’s sad, Trav.”“No, sitting up with you when you’re sick, and you falling asleep in my lap was one of my best nights. It wasn’t comfortable, I didn’t sleep worth a shit, but I brought in your nineteenth birthday with you, and you’re actually pretty sweet when you’re drunk.”“I’m sure between the heaving and purging I was very charming.”He pulled me close, patting Toto who was snuggled up to my neck. “You’re the only woman I know that still looks incredible with your head in the toilet. That’s saying something.”

“America took his face in her hands and smiled. “You’re an arrogant ass, but I still love you.”

“Abigail! I’m not defending him, Stupid! I’m looking out for you! You’re both crazy about each other! Do something about it!”

“Sheets, towels and blankets surrounded Travis. He had fashioned a soft pallet to sleep on while I expelled the fifteen shots of tequila I’d consumed the night before. Travis had held my hair out of the toilet, and sat with me all night.”

“Thank you,” I said with pride, tucking the money away in my bra.“You are incredibly sexy right now,” Travis said in my ear as we walked to the living room.”

“Travis lifted me off the ground, twirling me around.“Happy birthday, Pigeon,” he said with a soft expression.I stared into his warm, brown eyes for a moment, feeling lost inside of them. The room was frozen in time as we stared at each other, so close I could feel his breath on my skin.”

“The guests cheered, and America started a drunken rendition of Happy Birthday. I laughed when the part came to say my name and the entire room sang “Pigeon”.”

“Did I tell you how incredible you look tonight?”I shook my head and hugged him, laying my head on his shoulder. He tightened his grip, and buried his face in my neck, making me forget about decisions or bracelets or my separate personalities; I was exactly where I wanted to be.”

“You’re turning me into a fucking psycho, Pigeon,” he growled over his shoulder. “I don’t think straight when I’m around you.”

“View, Pigeon,” he said, mumbling something inaudible before his breathing returned to slow and deep.I couldn’t help but watch him sleep; knowing he was dreaming about me sent a thrill through my veins that I couldn’t explain.”

“Travis slammed into my back, wrapping his arms around my waist.“You scared the shit outta me!” I complained.He ran his hands over my skin. I noticed they felt different; slow and deliberate. I closed my eyes when he pulled me against him and buried his face in my hair, nuzzling my neck. Feeling his bare skin against mine, it took me a moment to protest.“Travis…,”He pulled my hair to one side and grazed his lips along my back from one shoulder to the other, unsnapping the clasp of my bra. He kissed the bare skin at the base of my neck and I closed my eyes, the warm softness of his mouth felt oo good to make him stop. A quiet moan escaped from his throat when he pressed his pelvis against mine, and I could feel how much he wanted me through his boxers. I held my breath, knowing the only thing keeping us from that big step I was so opposed to a few moments before was two thin pieces of fabric.Travis turned me to face him, and then pressed against me, leaning my back against the wall. Our eyes met, and I could see the ache in his expression as he scanned the bare pieces of my skin. I had seen him peruse women before, but this was different. He didn’t want to conquer me; he wanted me to say yes.He leaned in to kiss me, stopping just an inch away. I could feel the heat from his skin radiating against my lips, and I had to stop myself from drawing him in the rest of the way. His fingers were digging into my skin as he deliberated, and then his hands slid from my back to the hem of my panties. His index fingers slid down my hips, in between my skin and the lacey fabric, and in the same moment that he was about to slip the delicate threads down my legs, he hesitated. Just when I opened my mouth to say yes, he clenched his eyes shut.“Not like this,” he whispered, brushing his lips across mine. “I want you, but not like this.”

“I can’t stand this, Pigeon. I feel like I’m going crazy.”I threw out my hands and let them hit my thighs. “You can’t stand what?”“If you sleep with him, I don’t wanna know about it. I’ll go to prison for a long time if I find out he...just don’t tell me.”

“Do you ever look less than gorgeous?” Parker asked.“Based on the first time she came over here, I’m going to say yes,” Travis said from behind me.”

“No. You said so yourself: a bet’s a bet. After the month’s up, you’ll be off with Parker, he’ll become a doctor, you’ll get married and have your two-point-five children and I’ll never see you again.” He grimaced at his own words. “I still have three weeks. I’m not giving that up for lunch room gossip.”

“It was a surprise party, Parker,” America said softly.“Oh,” Parker said, cringing.“You’re throwing me a surprise party?” I asked America.She shrugged. “It was Trav’s idea. It’s at Brazil’s on Sunday. Six o’clock.”

“I’m glad you had a good time, Pidge. You deserve it.”

“You like Pigeon,” he said defensively. “It’s a dove, an attractive girl, a winning card in poker, take your pick. You’re my Pigeon.”

“I have to say, I was a bit nervous about picking up the woman Travis Maddox is in love with…from his apartment. You don’t know how many people have accused me of insanity today.”

“I walked out into the living room and Travis smiled, not the reaction I expected at all.“You…are beautiful.”

“Travis sighed. “I just said that because,” he scratched his short hair nervously, “I don’t want to ruin anything, Pigeon. I wouldn’t even know how to go about being who you deserve. I was just trying to get it worked out in my head.”

“As worried as I was that you’d never speak to me again…I think it’s worse that you’re indifferent.”

“I didn’t mean it, Pidge. If he hurts you—if he even makes you feel uncomfortable—you let me know.”The anger subsided, and my shoulders fell. “I know you didn’t. But you have got to curb this over-protective big brother-thing you’ve got going on.”Travis laughed once. “I’m not playing the big brother, Travis laughed once. “I’m not playing the big brother, Pigeon. Not even close.”

“He leaned in, seeming flustered. “I’ll kill him if he touches you.”

“I’ve heard you’re the only person who’s allowed to put Travis in his place. That’s an honorable title.”

“Don’t take these from anyone but me or Shep. I don’t want anyone slipping anything in your drink.”

“Travis walked in, and froze in the doorway. “Wow.”“You look amazing,” he said as I slid on my heels.”

“I know you didn’t. And I know it doesn’t matter what I say now, because I fucked things up…just like I always do.”

“I don’t care about the money, Pidge. I was afraid you’d leave and never speak to me again.”

“Travis walked in and shut the door behind him. “I was mad. I heard you spitting out everything that’s wrong with me to America and it pissed me off. I just meant to go out and have a few drinks and try to figure some things out, but before I knew it, I was piss drunk and those girls…,” he paused. “I woke up this morning and you weren’t in bed, and when I found you on the recliner and saw the wrappers on the floor, I felt sick.”“You could have just asked me instead of spending all that money at the grocery store just to bribe me to stay.”“I don’t care about the money, Pidge. I was afraid you’d leave and never speak to me again.”

“The door vibrated with the soft bump of Travis’’ forehead against the door. “I don’t want you leave, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did.”

“So help me God, Travis! If you try to stop her, I will douse you with gasoline and light you on fire while you sleep!”

“America grinned. “No, it’s something else,” she said, watching Travis’ hand as he patted my thigh. She was right; he was different. There was an air of peace around him, almost as if some kind of new contentment had settled into his soul.”

“We walked to his Harley, and when I wrapped my arms around him, he rested his hand on mine.“I’m glad you were there tonight, Pidge. I’ve never had so much fun at a fight in my life.”I perched my chin on his shoulder and smiled. “That was because you were trying to win our bet.”He angled his neck to face me. “Damn right I was.” There was no amusement in his eyes, he was serious, and he wanted me to see it.My eyebrows shot up. “Is that why you were in such a bad mood today? Because you knew they’d fixed the boilers, and I would be leaving tonight?”Travis didn’t answer; he only smiled as he started his motorcycle. The drive to the apartment was uncharacteristically slow. At every stoplight, Travis would either cover my hands with his, or he would rest his hand on my knee.”

“Why on earth would you want me to stay with you, anyway?” I asked.Travis shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I don’t know. Everything’s better when you’re around.”

“I don’t know. Everything’s better when you’re around.”

“Pigeon!”“I’m here!” I called out, running into his arms.Travis looked down and frowned. “You scared the shit out of me! I almost had to start another fight just to get to you… I finally get here and you’re gone!”

“If it’ll make you feel better, I won’t let him touch me. I won’t even let him get one in for his fans.”

“Travis!”“Down here, Pidge. Just come in feet first, I’ll catch you.”“You’re out of your damn mind if you think I’m jumping into the dark!”“I’ll catch you! I promise! Now get your ass in here!”

“Travis’ mouth fell open. “Oh, hell no. Are you trying to get me killed? You’ve gotta change, Pidge.”“What?” “Get a t-shirt on…and some sneakers. Something comfortable.”“What? Why?”“Because I’ll be more worried about who’s looking at your tits in that shirt instead of Hoffman,” he said, stopping at his door.“I thought you said you didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought?”“That’s a different scenario, Pigeon.” Travis looked down at my chest and then up at me. “You can’t wear this to the fight, so please…just…please just change,” he stuttered, shoving me into the room and shutting me in.”

“I don’t know why you put up with me, and I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

“What were you mad about?”“It’s not important. The only thing I’m worried about is you.”I leaned back to look up at him. “I can handle your temper tantrums.”His eyes scanned my face for several moments before a small smile spread across his lips. “I don’t know why you put up with me, and I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t mad at you. I just have a bad habit of lashing out at those I care about. It’s a piss poor excuse, I know, but I am sorry,” he said, enveloping me in his arms.”

“I don’t want to date her; I just want to be around her. She’s…different.”“Different how?” America asked, sounding irritated.“She doesn’t put up with my bullshit, it’s refreshing. You said it yourself, Mare. I’m not her type. It’s just not…like that with us.”“You’re closer to her type than you know,” America said.”