Jeanette Winterson

“I think now that being free is not being powerful or rich or well regarded or without obligation but being able to love. To love someone else enough to forget about yourself even for one moment is to be free.”

“What is more humiliating than finding the object of your love unworthy?”

“They say this city can absorb anyone. It does seem that every nationality is here in some part. There are dreamers and poets and landscape painters with dirty noses and wanderers like me who came here by chance and never left. They are all looking for something, travelling the world and the seven seas but looking for a reason to stay. I am not looking, I've found what it is I want...I say I'm in love with her. What does that mean? It means I review my future and my past in the light of this feeling. It is as though I wrote in a foreign language that I am suddenly able to read. Wordlessly, she explains me to myself. Like genius, she is ignorant of what she does.”

“Tell me the story, Pew. . . .It was a woman.You always say that.There's always a woman somewhere, child; a princess, a witch, a stepmother, a mermaid, a fairy godmother, or one as wicked as she is beautiful, or as beautiful as she is good. Is that the complete list?Then there is the woman you love.Who's she?That's another story.”

“I didn’t want to tell the story of myself, but someone I called myself. If you read yourself as fiction, it’s rather more liberating than reading yourself as fact.”

“Capacity for love in its higher forms seems to be peculiarly human although even in humans it is still peculiar.”

“Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move? There is a second of consciousness that is clean again. A second that is you, without memory or experience, the animal warm and waking into a brand new world. There is the sun dissolving the dark, and light as clear as music, filling the room where you sleep and the other rooms behind your eyes.”

“Like all familiar objects, it had become invisible.”

“Why did I walk so purposefully in a straight line? Where would it take me? He went round and round and we got there all the same.”

“There are voices and they must be heard.”

“You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never closes. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?”

“Why is the measure of love loss?”

“moss that is concentrating on being green.”

“I seem to have run in a great circle, and met myself again on the starting line.”

“I dreamed I was a single moment in a single day. A note struck and vanished. A sounding. A reckoning. Gone.”

“Perhaps all romance is like that; not a contract between equal parties but an explosion of dreams and desires that can find no outlet in everyday life. Only a drama will do and while the fireworks last the sky is a different colour.”

“To me, these days will never end. I am always there, in that room with her, or if not I, the imprint of myself - my fossil-love”

“Her butler opened it for her. His name was Boredom. She said, 'Boredom, fetch me a plaything.' He said 'Very good ma'am,' and putting on his white gloves so that fingerprints would not show he tapped at my heart and I thought he said his name was Love. ”

“There it is; the light across the water. Your story. Mine. His. It has to be seen to be believed. And it has to be heard. In the endless babble of narrative, in spite of the daily noise, the story waits to be heard.Some people say that the best stories have no words. They weren't brought up to Lighthousekeeping. It is true that words drop away, and that the important things are often left unsaid. The important things are learned in faces, in gestures, not in our locked tongues. The true things are too big or too small, or in any case is always the wrong size to fit in the template called language.”

“Naming is a difficult and timeconsuming process; it concerns essences, and it means power. But on the wild nights who can call you home? Only the one who knows your name.”

“Academics love to make theories about a body of work, but each book consumes the writer and is the sum of his or her world.”

“Earth is ancient now, but all knowledge is stored up in her. She keeps a record of everything that has happened since time began. Of time before time, she says little, and in a language that no one has yet understood. Through time, her secret codes have gradually been broken. Her mud and lava is a message from the past.Of time to come, she says much, but who listens?”

“Nothing has an unlikely quality. It is heavy.”

“What is it that you contain? The dead. Time. Light patterns of millennia opening in your gut. Every minute, in each of you, a few million potassium atoms succumb to radioactive decay. The energy that powers these tiny atomic events has been locked inside potassium atoms ever since a star-sized bomb exploded nothing into being. Potassium, like uranium and radium, is a long-lived radioactive nuclear waste of the supernova bang that accounts for you.Your first parent was a star.”

“The free man never thinks of escape.”

“Autobiography is not important. Authenticity is important. The writer must fire herself through the text, be the molten stuff that welds together disparate elements. I believe there is always exposure, vulnerability, in the writing process, which is not to say it is either confessional or memoir. Simply, it is real.”

“Gambling is not a vice, it is an expression of our humanness. We gamble. Some do it at the gaming table, some do not. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play. ”

“The key to happiness, she said, is tolerance of those who do not do as you do.' `What if those who do not do as you do are gunning you down?' I said.... Alaska frowned. `Guns are intolerant. Guns are a failure of communication.”

“For my part, I think we need more emotion, not less. But I think, too, that we need to educate people in how to feel. Emotionalism is not the same as emotion. We cannot cut out emotion - in the economy of the human body, it is the limbic, not the neural, highway that takes precedence. We are not robots...but we act as though all our problems would be solved if only we had no emotions to cloud our judgement.”

“The unknownness of my needs frightens me. I do now know how huge they are, or how high they are, I only know that they are not being met. If you want to find out the circumference of an oil drop, you can use lycopodium powder. That’s what I’ll find. A tub of lycopodium powder, and I will sprinkle it on to my needs and find out how large they are. Then when I meet someone I can write up the experiment and show them what they have to take on.”

“I can't catch her by copying her, I can't draw her with a borrowed stencil. She is all the things a lover should be and quite a few a lover should not. Pin her down? She's not a butterfly. I'm not a wrestler. She's not a target. I'm not a gun. Tell you what she is? She's not Lot no. 27 and I'm not one to brag.”

“Vertel me een verhaal, Silver.Wat voor verhaal?Het verhaal van wat daarna gebeurde.Dat hangt ervan af.Waarvan?Van hoe ik het vertel.”

“Kom naar beneden!’Ik kwam naar beneden, en toen ik weer op de grond stond, gaf mijn moeder me twee klappen in mijn gezicht.Wat zijn dat voor spelletjes?’Ik wilde de Wildernis zien.’Er is daar niets. Dat weet je.’Als er niets is, kan het ook geen kwaad.’Niets is het gevaarlijkste dat er is.’Waarom?’Als er niets is, kun je iets bedenken. Je zult de leegte niet kun¬nen verdragen. Het zal evengoed leeg zijn, maar je zult jezelf wijsmaken dat dat niet zo is.’Wat ik mezelf wijsmaak is waar.’Wat jij jezelf wijsmaakt is een verhaal.’Dit is een verhaal: jij, ik, het schroothuis, de schat.’Dit is het echte leven.’Hoe weet je dat?’Niemand zou er ooit voor betalen om ernaar te kijken.’Ze draaide zich om om het haveloze huis weer binnen te gaan. Toen draaide ze zich weer om naar mij.En ik zou er alles voor over hebben om het niet te hoeven le¬ven.’Je moet het niet leven. Je moet het veranderen.' 'Je begrijpt het niet, hè?’Wat begrijp ik niet?’Dit is het echte leven.”

“In that house, you will find my heart. You must break in, Henri, and get it back for me.'Was she mad? We had been talking figuratively. Her heart was in her body like mine. I tried to explain this to her, but she took my hand and put it against her chest.Feel for yourself.”

“It's so crude' complained her mother, who believed in Good Taste the way Sunday worshipers believed in the Immaculate Conception. She wasn't quite sure what it was but she was sure it was important.”

“I don't know how to answer. I know what I think, but words in the head are like voices underwater. They are distorted.”

“Love, they say, enslaves and passion is a demon and many have been lost for love. I know this is true, but I know too that without love we grope the tunnels of our lives and never see the sun. When I fell in love it was as though I looked into a mirror for the first time and saw myself. I lifted my hand in bewilderment and felt my cheeks, my neck. This was me. And when I had looked at myself and grown accustomed to who I was, I was not afraid to hate parts of me because I wanted to be worthy of the mirror bearer.”

“Although wherever you are going is always in front of you, there is no such thing as straight ahead.”

“To be ill adjusted to a deranged world is not a breakdown.”

“Trust me, I'm telling you stories. ... I can change the story. I am the story.”

“I didn't know what hate felt like, not the hate that comes after love. It's huge and desperate and it longs to be proved wrong. And every day it's proved right it grows a little more monstrous. If the love was passion, the hate will be obsession. A need to see the once-loved weak and cowed beneath pity. Disgust is close and dignity is far away. The hate is not only for the once loved, it's for yourself too; how could you ever have loved this?”

“Intensity is the desire to receive. Open yourself to light and you will become light.”

“..to change something you do not understand is the true nature of evil.”

“I struggled in my mind with all kinds of defenses. Should I be hurt? Surprised? Should I laugh it off? I wanted to say something cruel to expiate my anger and to justify myself. But it's difficult with old friends; difficult because it's so easy. You know one another as well as lovers do and you have had less to pretend about. I poured myself a drink and shrugged. 'Nothing's perfect.”

“How is it that one day life is orderly and you are content, a little cynical perhaps but on the whole just so, and then without warning you find the solid floor is a trapdoor and you are now in another place whose geography is uncertain and whose customs are strange?Travellers at least have a choice. Those who set sail know know that things will not be the same as at home. Explorers are prepared. But for us, who travel to cities of the interior by chance, there is no preparation. We who are fluent find life is a foreign language. Somewhere between the swamp and the mountains. Somewhere between fear and sex. Somewhere between God and the Devil passion is and the way there is sudden and the way back worse.”

“Fragile creatures of a small blue planet, surrounded by light years of silent space.”

“When she bleeds the smells I know change colour. There is iron in her soul on those days. She smells like a gun.”

“Time that withers you will wither me. We will fall like ripe fruit and roll down the grass together. Dear friend, let me lie beside you watching the clouds until the earth covers us and we are gone.”

“Their throats were bare for God.”

“Love is the one thing stronger than desire and the only proper reason to resist temptation.”