Jessica Zafra (born 1965) is a fiction writer, columnist, editor, publisher and former television and radio show host. She is known for her sharp and witty writing style. Her most popular books are the Twisted series, a collection of her essays as a columnist for newspaper Today (now Manila Standard Today), as well as from her time as editor and publisher of the magazine Flip. She currently writes a weekly column for The Philippine Star which is called, Emotional Weather Report. She resides in Metro Manila, Philippines, where she is working on her first novel. She also managed the Eraserheads during the 90's.
Her work often are about current events (both Philippine and international), tennis, movies, music, cats, books, technology and her personal life. Her work has been the subject of academic study. The main ingredient to her work is often fun cynicism and irony.
Find out more about her here.
“Humans have terrible passions that can go either way: create or destroy, it all depends on where they emerge. Art is not a tranquil occupation. What is peaceful about wrestling with nothingness? If the process isn’t brutal, it’s just decor. Your choice: violence towards others, or violence to yourself?”
“The book identifies you as part of the tribe. On the opposite extreme, there are people who will walk up to you when you’re reading a book because they think you’re lonely.”
“The truth is, the more one knows about Art, the more one values Entertainment.”
“It’s not words that fail, it’s the people who wield them. We have no power over life and death, we are subject to pain and disease and misery, but we command words. When you think about it, words are all we really have.”
“There are certain rules to be observed when writing about our parents. We can only describe them as transparent figures with golden haloes, smiling down at us from heaven, large flag billowing in the breeze optional, just before the end credits roll.”
“The one thing that worries me is that with my mother gone, the voice in my head that tells me to be nice to others has been silenced forever. I fear for other people.”
“I find it tiresome when people parade their agonies for public viewing; the last thing I want to evoke is pity. We are all the walking wounded, your pain is no worse than everyone else’s.”
“We often reward mediocrity because it is comforting. If they can do it, anyone can do it.”
“He made writing look easy and critics hate that. They like evidence of a struggle, of creative agony, wringing the masterpiece out of one’s guts. After all, most critics think of themselves as writers, or had attempted to become writers. This leads to the bizarre situation in which failed writers pass judgment on writers who actually write for a living.”
“This is not what death should be. Death, the reason for religion, the subject of great literature, the certainty we spend our lives warding off, the giant mystery that looms over everything we do, death should be spectacular, not pity-inducing, a bang and not a whimper. A huge ball of fire, a shower of sparks, a final charge into the ranks of your enemies, a terrific explosion, a backward dive into the fiery pit. Not. . .this.”
“My emotional range is limited. I can’t do grief, but rage is my friend. For instance, I hate death by sickness. It is nothing like Homer, the Old Testament, and Tolkien led me to expect. It is not noble and awe-inspiring. No one delivers a final soliloquy. It is as abrupt and banal as the flicking of a switch. The squiggly line on the monitor straightens out, the defibrillator doesn’t even go whomp, the epinephrine is useless, the nurse doing CPR looks up and even before the doctor pronounces the words, you know. This is not what death should be. Death, the reason for religion, the subject of great literature, the certainty we spend our lives warding off, the giant mystery that looms over everything we do, death should be spectacular, not pity-inducing, a bang and not a whimper. A huge ball of fire, a shower of sparks, a final charge into the ranks of your enemies, a terrific explosion, a backward dive into the fiery pit. Not. . . this.”
“A writer who makes serious money is never taken seriously. Writers and artists are expected to suffer poverty and privation for their art; it’s a sign of “authenticity.”
“The guilty pleasure defense. In my view if it’s guilty, it ain’t pleasure.”
“We have no control over fate and history, but we can control how we conduct ourselves in this life.”
“Being good does make a difference. You will not receive praise or payment for it, and other people will mistake your goodness for weakness, but it resonates among people you won't even meet.”
“These days when we speak of politics at all it is with indifference, anger, or "Please, could we talk about something that doesn't make us nauseous?" But there was a time when we could discuss government with hope, pride, and trust in our leaders, and that was when Corazon Aquino was president.”
“That's the thing about a great book. Every time you read it, it's different, because you're different. You've changed since the last time you picked it up, things have happened to you.”
“Once you’ve read too many trashy best-sellers, you begin to look for something with substance, something that attempts to define the universe.”
“Jealousy is like wasabe—a little can add excitement to your salmon sashimi but too much can make you cry and trigger facial contortions. I find it very flattering if someone is jealous of me. It is an affirmation that I am hot and spectacular. It is a confirmation of my value and importance. Yes, I am vain.”
“Yes, it’s true that you can’t learn everything from books. But you do learn something about everything.”
“Why would you sacrifice today’s freedom for a future that will always remain uncertain, no matter how carefully you plan for it?”
“Why should I bring happiness to those I loathe by obliterating myself, when I can make them miserable just by existing?”
“Food is the best substitute for everything, because it does not put up any resistance, but surrenders instantly.”
“Freedom doesn’t give you the license to do whatever the hell you want. It doesn’t give you the license to, excuse my language, piss on other people’s freedom.”
“Food is the all-purpose comforter, the giver of warmth, the source of the artificial yet deeply appreciated sugar high.”
“Repeat after me: “I am a goddess. I am a goddess. I am a goddess.” Make this your mantra. From constant repetition you will start believing it, and if you yourself are convinced of your goddesshood, other people will be convinced.”
“There's nothing wrong with self-improvement, as long as you recognize that at some point you're going to have to accept yourself in all your imperfect glory. What's wrong with liking yourself the way you are?”
“If you are honest with yourself, your life will be so much more pleasant.”
“One of the advantages of having an imaginary boyfriend is that he exists only for you, therefore he can not be stolen. The disadvantage is that you can not introduce him to your friends.”
“Marriage is a contract. Love is non-negotiable.”
“You can not make someone love you. You can not be thin enough or white enough or famous enough. The choice is entirely the other person's. Then again, you might try hypnosis.”
“The expression "madly in love" is apt, for it describes a form of temporary insanity.”
“The question is not why fools fall in love. It is expected of them. When "smart" people fall in love - that's the problem.”
“While being madly in love is fun, perhaps one should aspire to be sanely in love.”
“Everyone declares that love is irrational, and yet everytime this statement is proven correct, they profess amazement. They seem to assume that love will make an exception in their case. It never does.”
“In relationships it is best to assume nothing.”
“Life is a series of random collisions.”
“Someday you will look back on all the awful stuff that's happening to you, and fondly smile. Doesn't say much about the future, does it?”
“We don't really have a movie industry; we have a trailer industry. The movie guys make five minutes worth of stuff to get people in the theatre, and eighty-five minutes of filler.”
“Few things in life are certain, and one of them is that you can turn on the television at three in the morning and someone will be singing and dancing on the Indian channel. Proof of Nietzsche's theory of eternal recurrence.”
“The reason producers make stupid movies is because there are stupid people who will pay to see them.”
“Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.”
“The reason men rule is because women let them.”
“What we call the wisdom that comes with age is usually simple caution.”
“People who read books in public places are regarded with suspicion because they appear self-sufficient. When you seem self-sufficient, other people think that you think you're better than them, and they get resentful.”
“We like to think that all people have hidden depths, but the fact is that a lot of people are shallow. The vast majority don't have an opinion until they tune in to AM radio or read the papers. Then they become social critics.”
“Beware of those who have never been bored, depressed, or angry. There is something seriously wrong with them.”
“What does not kill you will make you stronger and more cynical.”
“Whining is a form of manipulation. People will give anything to make you shut up.”
“What exactly did we learn in kindergarten? Nothing we wouldn't have learned if we;d stayed home. Okay, we learned that sometimes, by the time you get to the bathroom, it's too late.”