Josh Lanyon

“If you want. It’s not really your kind of thing,” Perry said. “It’s a snow globe. You know, a big old house and lots of Vermont snow. I thought it might remind you of me.”“I don’t need a snow globe to remind me of you,” Nick said, which was probably the most romantic thing he had ever heard himself say. It made him blush.”

“Nick’s body covered Perry’s, and he could feel Perry’s fast and frantic heartbeats against his chest. Fast as the frightened pound of something small and gentle ‑‑ a rabbit or a fawn. But when he pulled back to study Perry’s face, he could see the shine of Perry’s eyes and the gleam of his teeth, and he was smiling, not scared, just excited. Nick’s mouth covered Perry’s, and Perry’s lips were warm and soft and welcoming. His breath was light and fast, and it seemed suddenly, strangely precious to Nick.A surge of unexpected emotion tempered his ‑‑ considerable ‑‑ lust.”

“Nick laughed and gave in to the urge to brush Perry’s fair hair out of his eyes ‑‑ his fingertips sensitive to the silky texture of eyebrows and hair, warm skin, eyelashes.Perry’s lashes fluttered down, concealing his eyes.“Hey,” Nick said huskily.Perry gave him an uncertain look.It was a mistake, of course. A huge mistake. But suddenly, urgently Nick wanted to taste Perry’s mouth, so he bent his head. Perry’s eyes widened, then their faces bumped, and his mouth found Perry’s.It was a gentle kiss, because Nick was thinking what a stupid thing this was to do, and that Perry, being inexperienced, would probably expect songbirds and firecrackers.Perry tasted like hot chocolate and something warm and young and male. It was unexpectedly erotic. He responded sweetly, opening right up, and Nick’s heart turned over in his chest.”

“Why do you think they don’t like me? They hired me for God’s sake. It’s not like there was any mystery about my history.”“I heard you used iambic pentameter once when you should have used a catalexis.”“Huh?”“Believe me, whatever the reason is, it will make as much sense.”Swift thought this over. Max was probably right, but it was still a weird, unhappy feeling. His mouth curved. “Do you really know what catalexis is?”“Not a clue. I heard you mention it once. It stuck in my memory because it sounds like a cross between a Cadillac and a Lexus.”

“He shifted over without comment, lifting the blankets, and I scrambled into the warm sheets beside him. He smelled like soap and sleep and bare skin. He smelled familiar. Not the deja vu familiar of Guy or Mel. Familiar like...the ache in your chest of homesickness, of longing for harbor after weeks of rough seas or craving a fire's warmth after snow--or wanting back something you should never have given away.”

“And yet there was something about his strength, his arrogance, his sheer size that got under my skin. He probably couldn't even spell vanilla. He was probably selfish in the sack. Probably selfish and greedy and...unsophisticated. And hung like a horse.”

“Thought of Riordan. Thought of a big hand wrapping around my shaft, sliding up and down, pumping hard...harder. The head of my cock leaked a single salty tear to slick my own hand's efforts. Yikes. Think of Bruce. Yeah. Better. Safer. Saner...”

“Then I got another mental image of him, broad chest covered in blond pelt, muscular forearms, big smooth cock jutting out of a silky nest. Riordan ordering me down on my knees, his hand tangling in my hair as he pulled my head toward his heat. The laugh died in my throat.”

“Hey, its not much of a closet is it?""No. Its not. I don't like closets. Life's to short to spend hiding in the dark.”

“That's one of the oldest tricks in the world, Adrien-with-an-e.”

“You don't look so hot, Adrien." "Yeah, well I'm having a bad heart day."His upper lip curled in a semblance of a smile. "Tell me about it.”

“I determinedly weaved my way through the crowd, hauling my medical apparatus behind me like my little red wagon.”

“Anyone who wasn't half-stoned on pain meds would have instantly realized what a really bad idea this plan was, but since that didn't include me, I didn't worry about it.”

“When I get back to L.A. I'm going to buy myself a Blackberry and a slew of French-cuffed shirts. Possibly a nipple ring.”

“Not as intolerable as being dead, in my opinion, but I'm very fond of me. I would miss me a lot.”

“To find them all in one package...well, perhaps better not to dwell on his package in my fragile state.”

“Kit, you're forty. You look thirty. You act...well, never mind. You're carrying on like you think you're seventy”

“I want to fuck you in those glasses.”

“He scooped up Victoria practically before she hit the ground, well within the five-second rule. If she'd been a potato chip, he could have still eaten her. Not something I particularly wanted to contemplate.”

“He was breathing, which is always a good sign.As gently as I could I picked him up, placed him on the towel, wrapped it around him, and put him in my car. I drove to the emergency clinic, the cat purring on the seat beside me.“What’s his name?” the young man at the front desk asked as my towel and cat were whisked to a back room.“Uh…John Tomkins,” I said.“That’s different,” the receptionist said, writing it down.“He was a pirate,” I said. “I mean Tomkins. I don’t know about the cat.”

“You're crazy about me, Elliot ...""You know how I know, Elliot?" ..."I know how you feel because I feel the same way.”

“Shrugging out of the damaged shirt, Jake said roughly, “I still dream about you.”“I have nightmares about you.” I dragged my T-shirt over my head, threw it aside.”

“He said you were on the scene when that Laurel Canyon homicide went down.”“I’m lucky that way,” I said.“So are you two square again?”I halted, mid-ripping open the cookies, and stared at him. “Well, he’s pretty square,” I said. “I’m just a rectangular guy.” With latent triangular tendencies.”

“See! He likes you,” Natalie said triumphantly.I stared down at the scrawny scrap of fur cautiously sniffing my hand.“He doesn’t like me. He thinks I’m going to feed him.”“Now who’s being a cynic? Anyway, every bookstore should have a cat.”The cat -- assuming it was a cat and not some beige bug-eyed refugee from outer space -- slunk uneasily down the counter, and flinched at the flutter of Mystery Scene pages as a gust of warm air blew in from the street.”

“Natalie said, “That detective in charge of the case: is he your Jake?”My mouth dried. The words felt arid and dusty as I forced them out. “Who told you his name?” Like I had to ask.“Lisa pointed him out on television the other night, and I recognized him as one of the cops who was in here the other day.”I opened my mouth, and then shut it. Jake had to know he was fighting a rearguard action. And I was through lying to my own friends and family. “Yeah,” I said. “We used to be friends. A long time ago. He’s married now.”“Bastard,” she said.I shook my head. “Not really. He never lied to me. I just didn’t ask the questions I didn’t want to know the answers to.”

“I gave a helpless laugh. “Damned if I know. I think…we seem to have reached impasse.I feel betrayed by your friendship with Verlane. I realize that’s not logical. I realize that if I’d made the mistakes Verlane has made, I’d want my friends to stand by me, hope that someone would help me when the time came. I just…”“What?”I met his eyes. “I just need to come first for someone, Guy.”

“Emma sat up very straight in the saddle. Her eyes were huge, but she said bravely, “I could do it!”“I know you can.”“I wasn’t afraid.”“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid,” I told her. “It’s how you handle it.”

“I’ve been telling you that you should hire Warren.”“Nat, I’m not going to hire Warren.”“Why not?”I opened my mouth to tell her exactly why not, but as I stared at her too-bright blue eyes and the way her chin was quivering, I chickened out.“Because…because I promised Angus when he left that he could have his job back.”“Adrien, he was involved in a murder.”“But he was very good at alphabetizing.”

“Look, Paul. I appreciate what you’re telling me, but I gave Jake my word. Not to mention the fact, he’d throw my ass in jail if he found out I tried to go around him.”“He wouldn’t, you know,” he said. “Jake’s a pussycat.”Yeah, just a big old saber-toothed tiger.”

“She shrugged another plump shoulder. “I never listened to Porter when he got going.”Ah. At last. The secret to a successful marriage.”

“I noticed you right away.” She gave me an approving look. “I like quiet, polite men. And men who wear Hugo Boss. I was hoping you weren’t gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul.”“Uh…sorry,” I said. “It’s pretty much full-time now. The pay’s not great, but the perks…”

“She went on, “Yes, Porter and I did discuss divorce, and we realized we loved each other too much to do anything so silly.”“That’s got to be a comfort to you now,” I said. “I can imagine how painful it would be to have someone you care for die with a lot of unresolved --”“Yes!” she exclaimed. “That is exactly right!” She gave me an approving lashless gaze.“See, gay guys always understand these things!”“We’re born with that understanding gene,” I said.”

“Her back to me, she said, “I know what Paul thinks. Everyone thinks I didn’t love Porter, that I just married him for the money, but Porter and I --” She shrugged.As avowals of lasting love go, I’ve sat through more professional presentations.But I said, “No outsider can understand a relationship between two people.” Hell, sometimes even the people in the relationship couldn’t understand it.”

“They took turns kissing necks and ears and stubbled chins. He had never found or expected gentleness from Tucker, but here it was, his for the asking. His even if he didn't know how to ask.”

“We were locked onto each other as though we had just discovered this incredible thing you could do with two mouths pressing close and moist against each other. And the taste of him... Horrifyingly, unbearably sweet -- sweet in the way crack must feel hitting the bloodstream of an addict after years of staying clean.”

“Jake's mouth found mine, his lips molding hot and soft to my own. His tongue tentatively tested the seal of my lips; I parted them and he pushed inside. It was startlingly sweet and achingly familiar, like finding harbor.”

“I felt the warm brush of his fingers pushing the key into mine all the way to my heart. I focused on the key because if I looked up, I'd see what he was feeling. Worse, he'd see what I wasfeeling -- in a minute what I was feeling was going to be spilling out of me, and it didn't make any sense. It had been over long ago; we had just finally got around to saying good-bye, that was all.”

“Well, well," he said. "This can't be a coincidence.""It could," I said. "The odds aren't high, but they do exist.""Uh-huh.”

“You got a little bit of an attitude, Mr. English, if you don't mind my saying so.I don't mind.”

“A Pause followed my greeting. Then, 'We're watching you,' whispered the voice on the other end.'Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys?”

“Snowden said carefully, 'I've been unable to get in touch with the person I thought might know about our mutual friend's difficulty.'The guy sounded like he worked for the CIA. Or Charles Dickens.”

“Do you still do the clubs?”Jake shakes his head. “You do the clubsbecause you can’t find what you need at home. I’ve got everything I need. I’ve got the answer to needs I didn’t even know I had.”

“A pause followed my greeting. Then “We’re watching you ” whispered the voice on the other end.“Yeah? Did you see what I did with my keys? ”Silence. Then dial tone.These younger demons. So easily discouraged.”

“She didn‟t look like the athletic type to me.” “Maybe Nemov carried her. He looked like he could.” “He looked like he could carry his SUV. I don‟t know why he didn‟t.”

“I love you," Jake whispered. "Are you strong enough for this?"I made myself comfortable. Said over my shoulder, "Sure.""Would you tell me if you weren't?"I grinned. "Maybe. I can't think of a nicer way to commit suicide.""That's good. I can't think of a more pleasant way to commit murder.”

“You think I'm with you out of guilt?""No, you ass. Of course not. I just mean—""You're a nut, MacAllister. I'm with you because I love you."There it was, out. Three little words. Three of the most common words in the world, but string them together and they were more powerful than any warrant, any extradition papers, or even treaty. Stronger than any magical spell. Had he really never said them aloud to Taylor?”

“If there was one life skill everyone on the planet needed, it was the ability to think with critical objectivity”

“I’m not going to let go of you. I’m going to hold you all night. So go ahead and feel whatever you feel. If you’re still craving cocaine, go ahead. You’re safe. You can crave it all you want, but I won’t let go, and if you still feel like you can’t trust yourself in the morning, and it’s what you want, I’ll drive you to rehab myself. Okay?" ~ Max”

“People loved you in the way they knew how - and often it was not the way you knew. Or needed.”

“Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?""You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see the day.""Nah, I want to tell you this joke I heard."Keir nodded, patient. "Shoot.""Two Irish cops walk into a bar. The first cop says..." Rick's voice dropped. He said gruffly, "I love you. Come home."Keir managed to keep his voice steady. "What's the other cop say?"The sweetness of Rick's smile was like a kick in his chest. "That's what I'm here to find out, boyo.”