Josh Lanyon

“Nathan kept trying to reassure him. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. Not to you. You can forget it, if you’d rather.”Matt listened to Nathan’s heartbeat, fast and light like a deer flashing through sunshine and shadow. “Listen, Nathan…”Nathan was silent, but Matt could feel the immediate tension down his spine.“I loved Rachel with all my heart. You’re right, nothing changes that. But—I never wanted her the way I want you.”Nathan slid out from under him, rolled over. His face was different, grave but sort of lit from within in a way that gave Matt a funny pain in his chest.”

“He wouldn’t spend another standing in the darkness, hot and sick and shaking inside with a confused mess of feelings that weren’t worth analyzing. That he shouldn’t have felt anyway.With Rachel gone it was like balancing on the edge of a cliff—and all the little wildflowers, the netting of grass and roots that kept the cliff from sliding into the sea below, were gone. It was just Matt standing there looking down, waiting to fall.Even Rachel’s memory, the sweet recollection of all they had built, all they had shared, was no longer strong enough to fight gravity. From the moment he had looked across the wet grass and seen Nathan Doyle standing in the shadow of a stone saber-toothed tiger, something had changed inside him. Something battened down had torn free, like a sail taking its first deep breath of sea air.It terrified him.And at the same time it exhilarated him.Which terrified him all the more.”

“The moonlight streaming through the sheer draperies revealed Taylor smiling, boneless and peaceful in Will's embrace. The most dangerous man Will knew rested sweetly in his arms, trusting him with his love as he trusted Will to guard his life. It was beyond precious. Life, love, was made up of fragile moments like these. Fragile as Paris moonlight.”

“I thought again how odd it was to be on formal terms with someone you had once permitted to lick your ears.”

“And I thought maybe I didn't need to worry about my heart anymore because it had stopped beating a couple of seconds earlier, and I was still sitting there living and breathing-though admittedly I wasn't feeling much of anything.”

“The problem with a life spent reading is you know too much.”

“I hadn't liked him at first. He did sort of grow on you after a while. Like the cosmopolitans. Or maybe because of the cosmopolitans.”

“I think it was the ChapStick that did it; he tasted like ChapStick and Jack Daniels. That reminder of human vulnerability got to me in a way that polished experience wouldn’t have. Not that he had lied about the experience.”

“I caught sight of Fraser in a pair of tight black Speedos. Ugh. Did he have a permit to carry that thing in public?”

“He was probably selfish in the sack. Probably selfish and greedy and...unsophisticated. And hung like a horse.”

“I'm a thirty-something gay man with a dodgy heart. I sell books for a living. Who wants to read about that?”

“I know that asshole you were with in college --”“Can we leave that asshole out of it?”Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time.”

“It was nearly five before Jake walked in. He was sunburnt, wet, and smelled faintly of fish. Sexy as hell. Don’t ask me to explain.”

“Adrien, people get killed all the time. Since when is it your job to find out what happened to them?""I'm not usually suspected of murdering them.""You have been as long as I've known you.”

“Then, like a born and bred asshole, he added to the sheriff, "He writes murder mysteries.”

“I never meant to get involved with you, Adrien.Rest easy; you're not.”

“This is like dating. This is...weird.”

“...Jake, a homosexual cop buried so deep in the closet he didn't know where to look for himself.”

“Tiffs among the faggots were apparently the stuff of quiet merriment.”

“He looked okay. No, to be honest. He looked a lot better than okay. He looked...fine. Fine, as in get the Chiffons over here to sing a chorus.”

“All cynics are disappointed idealists. The more stars in the eyes, the harder the fall.”

“Focus on someone else’s problems for a change, I instructed myself. You need the practice. From now on you’ll have to live in a world you didn’t make up. Horrible thought.”

“I couldn't see him putting up with the restraints and discipline of being a Bottom - he wouldn't have been able to remember half the rules - and no sane person would allow Rob to be his Top.”

“You're kind of a smart ass when you're not flat on your face.”

“Have I ever told you, you look like Monty Clift? he inquired in a deep, seductive voice.Before or after the accident?”

“And why is it the best looking ones are always straight?”

“Love... doesn't happen every day. It doesn't happen at all for some people”

“You couldn't hurt a fly."Actually I was pretty good at pinging flies right out of the air, but I tried to look appropriately harmless.”

“I didn't approve of murder on general principles. Not even of people who seemed to go around begging for it.”

“Why can't you say it?" I hardened my voice. "Because I'm telling you, you never have. I'd have remembered."He stared at me with disbelief. [...]"Love you? Of course I love you. Baby, I fucking worship you.”

“It’s more believable that a cop would get involved in solving these murders. I mean, you’re talking about writing a series. How believable is it that this Hollywood gossip columnist is going to keep stumbling on all these murders?”

“What I like about cooking is that, so long as you follow the recipe exactly, everything always turns out perfect. It’s too bad there’s no recipe for happiness. Happiness is more like pastry—which is to say that you can take pains to keep cool and not overwork the dough, but if you don’t have that certain light touch, your best efforts still fall flat.The work-around is to buy what you need. I’m talking about pastry, not happiness, although money does make things easier all around.”

“The only thing worse than opera is someone who hums along with opera.”

“One thing I’ve noticed about getting older, it takes twice as much work to get half the results one formerly achieved by falling out of bed.”

“Sable hair bisected his pecs and arrowed down to the straight and unequivocal statement of his returned interest. Forcing my gaze to his face, I said, "I really don't think we have time for that.""You know that, and I know that, but HE doesn't believe it.""Believe it," I told HIM.J.X.'s mouth tugged into one of those heart-stopping smiles. "Maybe you should whisper in his ear.”

“And yet, even as I made these plans, there was a small dismayed corner of my heart. Like those stupid cartoons when you're a kid: little red devil on one shoulder and the little angel in his nightie on the other. My good angel was hiding his eyes.”

“Vintage books, old china, antiques; maybe I love old things so much because I feel impermanent myself.”

“You know that thing about Death Be Not Proud? Well, Fear Be Not Proud either. And Fear Be Not Elegant. What Fear be is stumbling, bumbling flight, crashing through brush, slip-sliding on pine needles, sloshing through puddles that are always deeper than you expect.”

“Rachel delivered it like an official pronouncement. Like she was one of the fairies gifting Sleeping Beauty's christening: Beauty. Intelligence. Heterosexual.”

“I thought I recognized you."Really? He remembered me looking like Swamp Thing? How flattering.”

“He went through the cupboards, found the olive oil, and started upstairs again. He glanced down at the green and gold label and had to bite back a laugh at the words Extra Virgin.That about summed it up.”

“I liked you the first time I saw you. You were sitting on the floor surrounded by books, and you looked up when I opened the door and smiled right at me. It felt like you had been waiting for me, like you were welcoming me home.”

“Drink your coffee -- people in Africa are sleeping.”