Kinley MacGregor

“Thinking of jumping? (Callie)It would make you a rich widow if I did. Care to push me? (Sin)”

“Let me tell you a little story. There was once a boy who wasn’t even old enough to shave. Beaten. Naked. He was sent out into the great desert with only a small dagger for protection. I have killed cobras with my bare hands and I have lived through conditions so horrendous, not even hell itself scares me. If any of you think for one minute that I have any soul left to prevent me from killing you, you’re sadly mistaken. If you think for one minute, any of you are capable of killing me, then I say try it. But make sure you’ve had a good confession beforehand, because I assure you it will be the very last mistake you make in this lifetime. (Sin)”

“She is beautiful, isn’t she? (Lochlan)Like the first day of spring after a long, harsh winter. (Sin)”

“Where is Sin’s plaid? (Lochlan)Plaid cloth is for people of true Scots blood, Lochlan. They are not for half-blooded Sassenachs. (Aisleen)(He had found Sin later that day, alone in their room. Sin had been sitting in the middle of the floor with his arm cut open while he let blood trail from the wound into a bowl.)What are you doing? (Lochlan)I’m trying to get rid of the English blood in me, but it doesn’t look any different than yours. How can I make it go away when I can’t find the difference? (Sin)”

“Heard from whom? (Lochlan)From me, you worthless lickspittle. So tell me what miracle dragged the three of you from your holes and got your lazy hides all the way here. And a day early, no less. (Sin)”

“You should have been a jester instead of a knight. (Sin)True, but jesters don’t get to carry a sword. Personally, I like my sword. You know, the whole knight images really makes the ladies lust for me. Not that any have lusted for me recently, since I have only been in the company of married women, but one is ever hopeful…Oh, wait, I’m in Scotland, where they hate us English. Damn, my chances with the women have just fallen to nil. Wasn’t there a monastery a few leagues back? Mayhap I should go take my vows and just save myself the embarrassment of being sneered at. (Simon)”

“You’re right, Simon. Thank you for coming. (Sin)(Simon threw himself against the stone wall, his face a mask of shock and dismay.)Callie, quick, take cover, love. The castle is doomed. Sin said thank you to me. The end of the earth is upon us. (He crossed himself.) Hail Mary full of grace. (Simon)”

“What did they do to you, to make you withdraw so far into yourself? (Sin doesn’t answer.) You’ve left me again, haven’t you? I can always tell. Your eyes turn dull, cold. Very well, I shall leave you in peace. But know this: One day I am going to find the heart you have buried away from the world. (Callie)And what would you do with it if you found it? (Sin)I would hold it safe and keep it from the hurt that has shriveled it. (Callie)”

“I want you to notice that right now, this instant, we are having a conversation. It’s really not hard, now, is it? Think you we can carry this on for the rest of the day? (Callie)”

“I was thinking of setting myself on fire tonight. Would you mind? (Callie)What? (Sin)Ha! I knew it. I knew I could get you to talk. Just think, a whole word, too. Who knows if I keep this up, I might have you speaking an entire sentence by week’s end. (Callie)”

“And why are you sitting there? (Callie)Because it’s rather difficult to stand while sleeping. (Sin)You are sleeping outside my door? Why? (Callie)Because if I slept outside of Simon’s door, the innkeeper might think I’m strange. (Sin)”

“I want to be alone. (Sin)Well, how fine is that? Here it is our wedding day and you wish to spend it alone. Fine, then, call me shoe leather and have done with it. (Callie)I beg your pardon? Call you what? (Sin)Shoe leather. You know, the inconsequential matter that you treat upon without thought. (Callie)”

“Damn you for killing my son. I wish you had died in the womb. Better I should have killed myself than ever given birth to a monster such as you. (Sin's Mother)Thank you, Mother. As always, I will cherish your well wishes. (Sin)”

“A mighty oak can be felled by even the tiniest of insects when one allows them to continually gnaw at it. (Callie's Mother)”

“You strike me as a man who will only believe in what he can see or touch. (Callie)Exactly. (Sin)But you know, sometimes it’s what you don’t see that has the most power. (Callie)”

“Mmm. Let me guess. I like to drink the blood of innocents, feast on the entrails of knights and eat the hearts of small children everywhere. (Sin)Aye, that was much the consensus. (Callie)Well, I hope you didn’t go to such trouble to feed me. I fear ’tis off season for good blood, and knights can be rather testy when you disembowel them. (Sin)”

“Aelfa assures me you eat small children every morn to break your fast. Do you? (Callie)Nay, I find them to be too harsh on the belly. All that moving around once they’re swallowed. Not worth the effort, really. (Sin)”

“Tis the will of Our Savior that we should find you a spouse. (Henry)’Tis the will of Lucifer that you should torment me until the day he can take over. (Sin)”

“Halt! Halt, I say! (Roger)Oh, that’s effective. Halt or I shall say halt again. (Sin)”

“Cyn? Short for Cynric? (Callie)Nay. S-I-N. As in conceived, born in, and am currently living happily in. (Sin)”

“Come now, my lord. Can we not have a bit of fun with him? (Knight)My idea of amusement is disemboweling those who contradict and annoy me. What say you that you and I have a bit of fun? (Sin)”

“(Henry requests Sin marry Caledonia)I would sooner geld myself. Drunk. With a dull knife. (Sin)”

“Especially given the severity of some of her curses. God help him if any of them ever came true. Why, he’d be a two-headed, three-toed, monkey-nosed, blind son of a cesspit-licking lackey if she had her way. (Braden)”

“Your brother is a beslubbering, churlish, hell-governed princox, and I hope one day he gets the beating he deserves for it. (Maggie)”

“You arrogant, apish, underhonest lewdster! (Maggie)”

“Well, well. What have we here? (Thief #1)Looks like we got some little pigeons just right for a plucking. (Thief #2)Well, well. What have we here? (Sin)Looks like a pack of fools wanting to die. (Braden)”

“And are you suspicious of me? (Maggie)Woman, I’m suspicious of anyone who acts altruistically. I’ve only known a handful of people in my entire life who were actually kind. The vast majority of people only help others when they know it’ll benefit them in some manner. (Sin)”

“Ever the charmer, eh, Braden? (Sin)Hold your tongue, Sin. (Braden)I would, but with my luck, one of your giant Scottish bugs would land on it. Besides, it makes my hand wet and pruney when I do that. (Sin)”

“Do I need to go for a stroll? (Sin)Nay. I’m merely trying to kill your brother. (Maggie)”

“Leave him be, Sin, or I swear, in the mood I’m in, I’ll tear your head off your shoulders and use it for a footstool. (Braden)”

“You better not tup our sister! Or you’ll be having us to deal with, Braden MacAllister! (Duncan)Could I please just deal with one threat of death at a time? (Braden)”

“I say burn that witch. (Enos)Aye. Burn the witch. Burn the witch. (Clan)Burn the witch and her ugly shoes too! (Enos)(Braden frowned at him.)Well, they are ugly. (Enos)”

“Is that a threat? You’re but one man against all of us. (Fergus)Aye. I’m one man with a full garrison of troops sitting rather nicely entrenched on my English lands. Trained knights and soldiers ready to march at my command. You touch one hair on Lochlan’s head and I can promise you, I’ll see every one of you in your grave. (Braden)”

“Clumsy? Why, I’ve had more women than you, you whelp. Well. Maybe not more than you, but certainly more than Ewan. (Lochlan)That’s not saying much. My left boot has had more women than Ewan. (Braden)”

“It seems the women have decided I must put a stop to the feud against the MacDouglas or else they’ll serve us no more. (Lochlan)In any capacity. (Ewan)By Satan’s hairy toes, Sin, it appears I’ve died and gone to hell. (Braden)”

“Nay! Can it be Braden’s made it a whole hour without a woman? Quick, Lochlan, send for a healer afore he collapses from the stress of celibacy. (Ewan)Now, that’s no joking matter. It’s not good for a man to go too long without a woman. His juices back up and before you know it, he turns into a soured, ill-tempered beastie…So that’s what happened to you! Come. We’d best find you a woman quickly before you get any worse. (Braden)”

“Adieu, my ladies. If you ever venture to Scotland…leave the husbands at home. (Braden)”

“I’ve had worse. (Draven)Such as? (Simon)The day my heart was ripped out of me. I assure you the king’s executioner could never equal the pain I felt the day I saw our mother die. (Draven)”

“If it makes you feel better though, she is well worth it. (Draven)I hope you can still say that when they’re scooping your entrails out and you’re still alive to feel it. (Simon)”

“But my father’s is closest. (Emily)A wounded hawk doesn’t bed down in a fox’s den. (Draven)”

“I didn’t think you’d allow me to attend. (Emily)I’m a beast, Emily, not a bastard. (Draven)”

“Do you know what a friend is, milord? (Emily)An enemy in disguise. (Draven)”

“I should be mortified, I know. But Alys is a good friend to me, and though she has her faults, she has a good and generous heart.(Emily)And is that all that matters to you? (Draven)Aye. People will always make mistakes, but in the end ‘tis their heart that matters most. (Emily)”

“Oh, Draven. You’re my hero too! If not for you, that mean old boar would have eaten me alive. (Simon)Get off me, you nimble-pated gelding. (Draven)”

“My mother always said that you should share your troubles. If you let them out, then they are less likely to burden you, whereas if you keep them inside they fester your blood and taint your soul. (Emily)”

“Then I tell you this, as you value your putrid lives, you will leave here and make whatever lies you wish to your master. Never darken Lord Orrick’s doorway again. For if you do, there is no corner of hell you can find to hide that I won’t come seek you out. And I promise you, your master’s wrath is nothing compared to mine. (Draven)”

“Well, then again, she herself could be pretty single-minded when the occasion warranted it. But going over accounts and taxes? Quite honestly, she’d rather be tied to a stake by her hair and drowned in pickle juice. (Emily)”

“I never thought I’d see the day you retreated from anything, least of all a mere slip of a woman. (Simon)And never did I think I would find a woman I wanted so badly. Beauty, you’re a treacherous lure with a deadly hook, and this fish has no choice except to flee before it gets caught. (Draven)”

“(Emily frowned, then turned about in her saddle to scan the inner bailey.)Milady? What do you seek? (Simon)A marker announcing this as the gate to Hades. (Emily)”

“Allow me to present myself, milady. I am Simon of Ravenswood, brother to the ogre, and your most fervent protector for this journey. (Simon)Wonderful. And pray tell who will protect her from your drooling? Should I have my squire fetch rags now, or should I wait until she starts to drown? (Draven)”