Laurell K. Hamilton

“If you have a choice between extra makeup or extra weapons always take the weapons. Just the fact that you're debating between those two choices proves that you're going to need the weapons more.”

“Just what I needed—a necromancer with an attitude. Oh, wait, I was a necromancer with an attitude.”

“When you apologize, try not to smile at the same time. It ruins the effect”

“Important safety tip - never look a vampire in the eye.”

“...on the job there was nothing but the job. You left the shit outside the door. You could always pick it up on your way back out.”

“He smiled and extended a hand. "I knew you would do it, ma petite.""You arrogant son of a bitch." I smashed the shotgun butt into his stomach. He doubled over just enough. I hit him in the jaw. . He rocked back. "Get out of my mind!”

“Rafael, the Rat King, stared at the carnage with black-button eyes. "She is dead.""Ding dong, the witch is dead,”

“I walked towards her. Jean-Claude grabbed my arm. "Do not harm her, Anita. She is under our protection.""I swear to you that I will not lay a finger on her tonight. I just want to tell her something."He released my arm, slowly, like he wasn't sure it was a good idea. I stepped next to Monica, until our bodies almost touched. I whispered into her face, "If anything happens to Catherine, I will see you dead."She smirked at me, confident in her protectors. "They will bring me back as one of them."I felt my head shake, a little to the right, a little to the left, a slow precise movement. "I will cut out your heart." I was still smiling, I couldn'tseem to stop. "Then I will burn it and scatter the ashes in the river. Do you understand me?"She swallowed audibly. Her health-club tan looked a little green. She nodded, staring at me like I was the bogey man.I think she believed I'd do it. Peachy keen. I hate to waste a really good threat”

“I'm not sure there are enough white roses in the world to make me forget Richard." I held up my hand before she could interrupt. "But I'm not sure there are enough cozy afternoons in all eternity to make me forget Jean-Claude.”

“Edward's grief if you die will be a terrible thing. It will hurt him, a lot, and men like him never grieve alone. He will spread his grief all over us, not because we failed, but because it'll give him something to focus on so he doesn't have to feel the pain.”

“I had to practice this line to use with people who come to signings and things: ‘I’m sorry, I don’t have sex with strangers.’ --Laurell K. Hamilton, www.locusmag.com/2000/Issues/09/Hamil...”

“Never throw stones if you think they're going to come back and hit you.”

“I'm dating three men, living with two more, and having occasional sex with two others. That's seven men. I'm like a pornographic Snow White. I think seven is plenty.”

“Give a truly good person power, and they’re still a good person. Give a bad person power, and they’re still a bad person. The question is always about the person in between. The one that isn’t evil, or good, but just ordinary. You don’t always know what an ordinary person is like on the inside.”

“Your heart is not a wound to be poked at to see if the scab is ready to come off. You can be healed of that very old pain, if you’ll just let it happen. (Marianne)”

“-Please, Anita, go home, and don’t freak. Just go home, and be happy. Be happy, and let everyone around you be happy. Is that so hard?When Jason said it like that, it didn’t seem hard. In fact, it seemed to make a lot of sense, but inside, it felt hard. Inside it felt like the hardest thing in the world. To just let go, and not pick everything to death. To just let go and enjoy what you had. To just let go and not make everybody around you miserable with your own internal dialogue. To just let go and be happy. So simple. So difficult. So terrifying.”

“I’d have much rather gotten dragged into someone else’s fight than face what was waiting for me. Other people’s emotional pain, no matter how painful, is so much less painful than your own.”

“I'm not afraid of heights, but the idea of falling from them, well, that I'm afraid of.”

“I'm sorry I have issues with my boyfriend doing other men. I'm sorry I have issues with me doing other men. Why was I always being made to feel guilty because I wasn't having sex with more people? Wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?”

“I called her Mrs. Bennington at her insistence. When I'd referred to her as Ms. Bennington, she'd nearly bitten my head off. She was not one of your liberated women. She liked being a wife and mother. I was glad for her, it meant more freedom for the rest of us.”

“His parting shot to me had been, "I don't want to love someone who is more at home with the monsters than I am." What do you say to that? What can you say? Damned if I know. They say love conquers everything. They lie.”

“Silk didn't care if it slid over scars or smooth, untouched skin. I'd earned my right to be paranoid.”

“I hate being awake at three in the morning. It is the godforsaken heart of darkness when the body runs slow, and the brain runs slower, and all you want to do is sleep. But I had promises to keep, and miles to go before I could sleep. Or at least a couple of miracles to perform before I could go to bed.”

“We were U.S. Marshals. We hunted and killed the monsters. We did not run from them”

“Tell that to the BTK killer,” I said. “He was a churchgoer, raised two kids, married, and resisted the urge to kill for decades. He was a person, but he was a monster, too”

“He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop.”

“Hesitation will get you killed.”

“Make them fear you. Machiavelli said it nearly six hundred years ago, but it's still true. Every ruler should strive for his people to love him. But if they cannot love you, then make them fear you. Love is better, but fear will do the job.”

“Confidence is a fine trait. Over-confidence isn't.”

“She'd been a good nurse, and now she'd never be a nurse again. She was bitter about it and had turned herself into the slut bride from Planet X, as if even in human form, she wanted people to know what she was now: different, other. Trouble was, she looked like a thousand other teens and early twenties who also wanted to be different and stand out.”

“I don't think we can do that.""At these prices you should bring the cow out and have a ritual sacrifice atthe table. Just do it." I handed him the menu. He took it.”

“A little boy who's discovered the monster under the bed is actually real, and it's screwing Mommy.”

“Lust has less logic than love, sometimes, but it's easier to fight.”

“I am always sincere, ma petite, even when I lie." - Jean Claude”

“I hated missing the end of anything. I was always convinced that the bit I'd miss would be the best part.”

“Human lives are too short to waste in trivialities.”

“I wanted to say something brilliant. My God, Holmes, how did you know the zombie was hiding in the flower pot? But I couldn't lie.”

“When you spend all your time worrying that the devil is right behind you, eventually you start seeing him whether he's there or not.”

“Why was I mad? Because he'd surprised me with a really nice hotel room. What a bastard.”

“Every time I thought I understood the rules, they changed. Why was it that the damn rules always seemed to change for the worse?”

“If I wanted death, Edward would give it to me. Because we both understand that it isn't death that we fear. It's living.”

“Patience is a virtue, but there comes a moment when you must stop being patient and take the day by the throat and shake it. If it fights back; fine. I'd rather end up bloody at the end of the day, then unhurt with no progress made, no knowledge gained. I'd rather have a no, then nothing. I'd forgotten that about myself.”

“Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives.”

“Larry had brought me blue jeans, a red polo shirt, jogging socks, my white Nikes, an extra cross from my suitcase, the silver knives, the Firestar complete with inner pants holster, and the Browning and its shoulder holster. He'd forgotten a bra, but hey, except for that it was perfect.”

“There is a frozen moment after a really good shot to the face. A moment of shock, or paralysis where all you can do is blink.”

“I think we can do it.""But you don't know for sure," he said."No.""Geez, Anita.""Don't get rattled on me. We can do this.""But you aren't sure.""I'm not sure we'll survive the plane ride home, but I'm still getting on the plane.""Was that supposed to be comforting?" he asked."Yeah.""It wasn't," he said."Sorry, but this is as good as it gets. You want certainty, be an accountant.""I'm not good at math.""Me either.”

“Why, you may ask, didn't we have a cow tonight? No one would sell Bayard one. He had the brilliant idea of telling the farmers why he wanted the cow. The God-fearing folk would sell their cows to be eaten, but not for raising zombies. Prejudiced bastards.”

“The goat gave a high, questioning bleat. It was staked out in the middle of the boneyard. It was a brown-and-white-spotted goat with those strange yellow eyes they sometimes have. It had floppy white ears and seemed to like having the tope of its head scratched. Larry had petted it in the Jeep on the drive over. Always a bad idea. Never get friendly with the sacrifices. Makes it hard to kill them.I had not petted the goat. I knew better. This was Larry's first goat. He'd learn. Hard or easy, he'd learn. There were two more goats at the bottom of the hill. One of them was even smaller and cuter than this one.”

“The truth is so often disappointing, or ugly; don't you find that, ma petite?”

“They would be happy to bring some up. No one bitched about the time. No one questioned. You can always tell how much you're paying for a room by how little they complain.”