Lauren Barnholdt

“Everyone knows that you should never wreck your life for a boy, and especially not one that you meet while you're in high school.”

“You can do this. You are invincible; nothing can rattle you. You have nerves of steel; you are a confident, strong woman; you-”

“Because the truth is, I wouldn’t care if she lied to me, except for the fact that I love her. And once you love someone, you can’t really put up with them lying to you. It just doesn’t work. It makes things into a big mess.”

“But now I’m thinking that wanting to end up with a great storyteller might have been a bad idea. Because girls who can tell great stories are also great liars.”

“Parents don’t get that, though. They don’t understand about the fragility of teen friendships. They don’t understand how easy it is for things to break apart, how someone you thought would be by your side forever can just disappear, or turn on you, or decide she likes someone more than she likes you. Parents always talk about romantic relationships being so ephemeral and fleeting in high school. What they don’t get is that friendships can be the same way.”

“Because sometimes when someone is telling you something really important, it’s best to just let there be silence, to really think about what they’re saying. A lot of times people think they have to say something all insightful or wise or something to try and make the person feel better. But really, sometimes silence is best.”

“So why haven’t you called?” I ask her now.She looks uncomfortable. “I told you,” she says, twirling the end of her braid around her finger. “School stuff.”“Bullshit.” She looks at me and opens her mouth, probably to lie again. But then she changes her mind. “I didn’t know what to say.” Her voice catches, so I know she’s telling the truth. “And besides, you didn’t call me, either.” “Because you didn’t call me!” Doesn’t she know that the person who got kicked out of school (me) doesn’t have to call the one who didn’t(her)? She should have called to check up on me, to see how I was doing. She should have come over with lemonades and ice cream, keeping me company, helping me nurse my broken heart. That’s what best friends do. It’s so common it’s cliché.”

“I hate that about guys. At least girls have the decency to be fake and pretend everything’s okay when shit gets weird. Whenever guys get upset, they get all angry and scary”

“And that's when I realize the thing about the truth. It always comes out, no matter what you do.”

“If you want to know the truth,” he says, leaning forward like he’s getting ready to tell a really good story, “it has to do with Kelsey. And the biggest lie of all.”And that’s when I realize the thing about the truth. It always comes out, no matter what you do.”

“The thing about me and books is that whichever one I’m reading always reminds me of whatever’s happening in my life during that time.”

“That chick is certifiably out of her fucking tree. -Isaac”

“I just have a hard time with small talk. My friend Jocelyn says I'm too quiet. But I'm really not quiet. I just tend to come across that way to new people because I don't like to talk first. What if the other person doesn't want to be bothered?”

“The information age is so psychotic – without the cell phone and Internet, I would be drama free right now.”

“You have to give respect to get respect.”

“Not for the first time, I wonder what it would feel like that, to be so beautiful that you don't even realize people are watching you, to be so confident that you don't even have to worry about being nervous or feeling self-conscious. I've spent what seems like my whole life trying to pretend I'm that way. What would it be like to have it just come naturally?”

“Jordan, Attached, please find a copy of the schedule for our trip. Best Courtney."I was really proud of it. The email i mean. Because it was so short and cold.Of course, it took me and my friend Jocelyn about two hours to come up with the perfect wording, but Jordan doesn't know that.”

“Okay,” Cooper says agreeably. “But what if you and Nigel fall in love, and Nigel and I become BFFs, and then you guys get married, and Nigel wants me to be the best man, and you and I have to talk about the wedding plans?”“That would never happen, because since Nigel would be so in love with me, he would have dumped you as a BFF as soon as we got engaged and/or told you you were not allowed to be best man at our wedding, per my wishes.”“Yes, but—”“Wait a minute,” I say. “Did you just say ‘BFF’?”“Yes,” he says. He looks at me and shrugs. “I’ve been watching a lot of Disney Channel.”

“And then I get it. The 318s have somehow decided to make me do the things that are in my notebook. All the things I’m afraid of. The things I’ve been writing since the seventh grade. And if I don’t, they’re going to post the book on the internet, and everyone at school, no, everyone with an internet connection, will know all my secrets. For a second, it feels like my throat swallows up my heart and my breath catches in my throat. There’s only one thing left to do. I put my head in my hands and start to cry.”

“It might be a little bit crazy, even. Like, for real crazy. Not just 'oh isn't that charming and endearing' crazy but 'wow that might be a deep-seated psychological issue' crazy.”

“-Te perdi -Dice.- Esa fue mi consecuencia -Cooper”

“Sizeism = like racism, only against people who aren't a size two or four.”

“Because she left him a MySpace message that was semi-flirty, and then today he was very vague about what he was doing. So I headed over to his house and waited outside until he left. And now he’s at McDonald’s, and I’m following him to see where else he’s going.” MySpace is seriously going to be responsible for everyone losing their minds.”

“When I got to the house about an hour ago, James took one look at me and said, "Damn, girl, your parents put out some good product." I think it was a compliment, but I'm not quite sure.”

“Jesus, Ally, you're living with a stripper?""She decided not to do it. She got a job at Hooters instead.""Oh, well, in that case, I feel much better," he says sarcastically.”

“Silence. At this point, I expected Corey to say something like, "Jen? I don't know. Jen who?" or "Jen? I have a cousin named Jen, I think, who goes to Georgia Tech," or "Jen? Like Jen Aniston?" or something that basically shows he has no clue what I'm talking about. But silence is not good. Silence is almost as good as saying, "Oh, Jen. She's just one of those tanned strumpets you've been imagining that I'm out clubbing with every night. Only she's not imaginary after all. The only part you got wrong was her name.”

“Jesus. Who does he think he is? He's always out partying and drinking with his friends. I do it once and all of a sudden I'm a candidate for AA.”

“POSSIBLE OPENERS AFTER YOU'VE GOTTEN DRUNK AND SLEPT IN YOUR GUY ROOMMATE'S BED (A LIST):1. Hey, Drew, thanks for letting me sleep in your bed. I hope I didn't puke all over your sheets.2. What do you mean? I slept in your bed? Really? I don't remember any of it, I was so wasted.3. Thanks for not trying to molest me.”

“You are definitely not a slut," Jasmine says, putting her arms around her. "Having sex with a guy you like does not make you a slut. Now if you start having sex with every guy you like, then we'll reclassify you according to level of skankiness.”

“Everyone's fake in certain situations. It's like when you go for a job interview and they ask you, "What would you do if you found one of your friends at work stealing?" and, let's face it, no one's going to tell on their friend. But of course you have to say, "I would tell IMMEDIATELY, because I don't think I could work in that kind of environment, it's not good for my morale." No one wants to look like an idiot.”

“The thing about loving someone, is that yelling at them only feels good while you're doing it -- as soon as they're gone, all you want to do is take it all back”

“You don;t believe me?" He sound wounded, like the thought of me not believing him makes him incredibly sad."No.""Then come with me," he says. He unfolds his long legs and stands up. "To Cooley's. You'll see they just posted the schedule. If I'm lying, I'll buy you a chocolate shake.""And If you're not?""Then I'll still buy you a chocolate shake." He grins at me.”

“So you were checking up on me?" I aks"No," Noah says. He puts a faux-shocked look on his face, then turns back to his magazine, pretending to be engrossed. I take the magazine our of his hand and toss it back onto the table."That's good," I say, "That you weren't checking up on me. Because I'm totally fine.""I know." He shrugs."And I don't need to be checked up on.""Definitely not.""I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.""Perfectly.""So we agree.""Yup.""So then where are you clothes?""What?""Your clothes," I say. "Where are your clothes? You came to the Laundromat so you must have some clothes." I fold my arms across my chest and wait,"Oh, my clothes," he says, giving me an easy grin. "I didn't come here to do laundry.""Oh, really?" I say. "The what were you here to do?""I was here," he says, rolling his eyes like it should be obvious, "so I could go across the street to Cooley's and check my schedule for the week.""And you just happened to see me coming into the Laundromat?""Exactly,”

“Everything I have is dirty, but I'm sure I can figure something. Maybe I can make a dress out of a garbage bag. Lady Gaga wore that meat dress to the VMA's, so I should be able to dress in a garbage bag. I'll get black ones, to symbolize my current state of mind. Like performance art of something.”

“It's definitely broken," my mom says [...]"Maybe it's unplugged or something," [...]"Honey, it's broken," my mom says. She sounds like she's trying to break it to me gently. I can't really blame her. The other day she told me there was no more vanilla ice cream, and I burst into tears right in the middle of the kitchen. She obviously knows I'm fragile.”

“So what now?" I ask when I finally pull away. I bury my head in his shoulder, not sure I want to know the answer.But when I look at him, his face is surprised, like it should be obvious. "Now," he says. "We figure it out together.”

“So what now?" [...]"Now," he says. "We figure it out together.”

“I put my own feelings before what was right for you, for us. And I shouldn't have done that. Seriously, I fucked it all up.”

“I couldn't tell you how I felt before talking to Ava, and I felt like I couldn't talk to Ava until she got back. But then last night, there you where, and you looked so beautiful, and I couldn't stop myself anymore. But I shouldn't have done it, I should have stopped it, I should have put you first. I was trying to do the right thing, but all I did was fuck everything up. With you, with Ava, with your friendship...”

“it's wrecked, our relationship is smashed, and we don't have to pretend anymore.”

“People make mistakes.”

“You have to gooo," Lacey says."She doesn't have to," Noah says. "If she can't handle it, she can't handle it.”

“Replace the old memory with a potentially crappier new one? No thank you.”

“I traded being heartbroken over one guys for being completely heartbroken over another.”

“And Hannah?" he says. "Don't beat yourself up too much. You know, about the whole Noah thing. Sometimes it happens.”

“The firs day of high school is bullshit anyways. It's supposed to be about new beginnings, but really all it does is wreck your life. And set you up for failure. And make you realize everything is completely and totally fucked.”

“The first day of school is bullshit”

“We have to get Bugles," I tell her [...]"Oh, definitely Bugles," she says. "I'm going to get the sour cream and onion kind." She drops them into the basket she's holding."Good idea," I say, happy to be joking around, "And while we're at it, why don't we get some dip for them?""Better yet," Ava says. "Let's skip the Blugles and just eat dip." We both collapse into giggles.”

“Brooke Wilkins?" I ask [...]"She's this really annoying girl from Cali who, like, constantly talks about all the girls she's hooked up with. It's just so freshman year, you know?""What is?""Bragging about how you've hooked up with girls.""We never did that.""No, but everyone else did. Remember Sonya Fullmer?""Oh, right," I say. "She was always kissing girls to get guys interested in her.""I remember her," Noah says, grinning."Figures," Ava says.”

“I stare at him in awe. "That was an amazing amount of distillation.""Yeah, well, I'm an amazing distiller.”