Louise Rennison

“I can already feel myself getting fed up with boys and I haven't had anything to do with them yet" - Georgia Nicolson”

“Look, girls and boys are different. Girls like to be touched twenty times a day in a nonsexual way to feel good about themselves - that is why I tickle you and link arms with you - but boys think about sex, snogging and football, and also snogging whilst playing football. Simple.”

“I'm not a ice cream, i'm a human being”

“Hello, my sister, Libby, also your daughter, is snogging a potato in my bed. What are you going to do about it?' Dad started yelling uncontrollably. I wonder if he is having the male menopause? If he starts growing breasts, I will definitely be running away with the circus.”

“I am going to become a writer for Cosmo - you don’t have to make any sense at all. Or maybe I’ll be a bloke, they don’t have to make sense either.”

“I always want to tell him everything. Butinstead I said, “What’s your advice, Horn -meister?”And he started doing pretend beard strokingand said, “Well, luuurve is a many trouseredthing. . . .”

“Mi értelme Shakespeare-nek? Tudom, hogy zseni meg minden, de állandóan csak károg. - De csitt, mi fény nyilall az ablakon? A rohadt Hold, az isten szerelmére. Szedd össze magad, Vili!”

“Through my curtains I can see a big yellow moon. I’m thinking of all the people in the world who will be looking at that same moon.I wonder how many of them haven’t got any eyebrows?”

“How do you make yourself not like someone?”

“I was going to say, No, no, don’t cry, I’ll go outwith you. Anything, but don’t cry. . . . But I stillcouldn’t make my voice work.And then he sort of cleared his throat and said,“Georgia, don’t feel bad. It’s always tough to hurt someone and tell them the truth. I know that. You’re a really lovely girl. Lovely . . . mad . . . butlovely. I’ll always like you. Don’t worry.”

“My cousin Georgia says that boys are like gazelles. She says the get alarmed when they get close to girls. And they have to leap off into the woods like gazelles in trousers. Or have I just made that up?”

“Heathcliff. The "hero" of Wuthering Heights. Although no one knows why.He's mean, moody, and possibly a bit on the pongy side. Cathy loves him, though. She shows this by viciously rejecting him and marrying someone else for a laugh. Still, that is true love on the moors for you.”

“Mr. Darcy was in Pride and Prejudice and at first he was all snooty and huffy; then he fell in a lake and came out with his shirt all wet. And then we all loved him. In a swoony way.”

“The tannoy is crackling but I can only hear heavy breathing and snuffling. ...Uh-oh, the tannoy is crackling again."Sorry about that, ladies and gentlemen, I momentarily lost hold of my pie.”

“Oh dear. I have just seen Angus hunkering down in the long grass. He's stalking their poodle. I'll have to intervene to avert a massacre. Oh, it's OK, Mrs. Next Door has thrown a brick at him.”

“Hij zegt: "Hoor eens, Georgie, je bent nu een jonge vrouw(wat was ik dan eerst, een jong paard?)”

“Wat betekent dat, als een jongen zijn hand op je borst legt? Betekent het dat hij een geilneef is? Of was zijn hand gewoon moe?”

“Ik lag op mijn arm tot er geen gevoel meer in zat en toen tilde ik hem op (met mijn nietgevoelloze arm) en legde hem op mijn borsten. Ik wilde weten hoe het voelde om een vreemde hand op je borsten te hebben. Het was wel aangenaam, maar wat weet ik er nou van? Ik zit vol rare verlangens om helder te kunnen denken. Moet ik mijn beha aan naar het feest?”

“Als ik niet naar het feest kan vanwege haar lesbische lust, GAAT JUFFROUW STAMP DOOD, ZE GAAT DOOD.”

“16.00 uur: Net ontdekt dat Libby mijn laatste maandverbandjes gebruikt heeft als hangmatten voor haar poppen.16.30 uur: Ze heeft ook al mijn foundation op haar panda gesmeerd, zijn hoofd is nu helemaal beige.17.00 uur: Ik heb geen foundation meer en ook geen geld. Ik ben bang dat ze eraan gaat.17.15 uur: Nee. Rust. Ohmmmmmm. Innerlijke rust.”

“Net ontdekt dat Libby mijn laatste maandverbandjes gebruikt heeft als hangmatten voor haar poppen.”

“Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you were sitting) Libby let off the smelliest, loudest fart known to humanity. It came out of her bum-oley with such force that she lifted off my knee - like a hovercraft. Even she looked surprised by what had come out of her.”

“Do you miss your dad?" And I said: "Who?”

“I can't believe the poo-osity of my life!”

“I‘ve said it once and I will say it again, why can‘t everyone just speak English? The Americans give it a bit of a go — why can‘t other nations?”

“I am not an ice cream come! I am a human being!”

“You STUPID stupid girl. Honestly, you have done some stupid stupid things in your time, but this takes the biscuit of stupidity.”

“I've never had anyone say they love me before. Libby lobes me, that is true, but there is something a bit menacing about the way she says it.”

“I put my arm around her and said, "Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.”

“Don't jab each other with courgettes, boys.”

“Vaisey looked like a startled earwig.”

“At that point Ms Fox came in and said, "Hello, carry on as if I am not here."Then she lay down on the floor.”

“Who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs?"I said, "Come on then, they are down here."He said, "Tallulah, the answer to who wouldn't want to see some owl eggs is... me!!!!”

“I don't know what's going on with Mum and Dad, but it's weird. Mum keeps asking Dad to do things and he keeps doing them Unfotunately, she hasn't said 'Hand over your money and make your way to Europe!”

“Out on the moors,The lonely moors,I roll around in sheep poo.Heathcliff, it's youuuuu,I hate you, I love you tooooo.Let me in, I'm here, it's meeeee,Catheeeeeeee.Look out of your windooooow.”

“Dance of the Sugar Plum Bikey. Yes, that's got a nice ring to it.”

“I am looking at you and you are looking at me. This is very good. I am looking and I am liking. You are looking and you are thinking, 'I hope she doesn't hit me with her crop.' But that is because I am me and you are you.”

“As we drew near to the gates of Dother Hall the old bell in the belfry rang out. I said, 'I must go in, it's nigh on ten of the clock.' He half-turned away from me, his jacket collar hiding his expression. Was he angry? Disappointed?"Jo looked intently and I said, "Hungry?"Jo ignored me, but as she passed by acting out walking away from Phil, she allowed her hand to slap against my head.”

“The fly in her argument is that when she says, 'they' will feel like lemons, we don't know who 'they' are. And 'they' might BE lemons.”

“And a secret inward voice in my head was saying (in a strange breathy voice...) Yes, yessss, I will pop round to The Blind Pig. I will 'pop' round because guess who lives at the Blind Pig? It is not a blind pig, it is Alex.”

“He had everything a dream boy should have. Back, front, sides, Everything. A head.”

“Vaisey said, "Is it because your parents don't understand you?"Charlie said, "No, it's because our parents understand us very well, and that is why they wanted us to go away.”

“This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.”

“Cor, love a duck. And also Lawks-a-mercy. I said that inwardly, but outwardly I said, "Blimey, and also, what larks.”

“I gave my artistic laugh and also threw in some quirky language for good measure. "Lawks-a-mercy, no! I'm going to have a long bath and..."I looked shyly down. Which is pretty impressive to have done artistic laugh, quirky language and shyness all in the space of ten seconds.”

“How many times do we all have to do this? Get up, go to school, again? Before everyone admits it's a crap idea?”

“Jas, whatever Tom has under his trousers is between you and him.”

“Your soul shines through even if you haven't got mascara on”

“Watching TV Mum said, 'Do you miss your dad?' and I said, 'Who?”

“Unbelievable! I said, "What would I be doing walking the streets at night as a stuffed olive- gate-crashing cocktail parties?”