Louise Rennison

“HOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!”

“Its okay I'm wearing really big knickers.”

“If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!”

“As I have often said, she has two styles of acting: with or without the beard.”

“P.P.S. I am giving you telepathic hugs.P.P.P.S. But not in a telepathically lezzie way.”

“He who laughs last laughs the laughiest.”

“Rosie get off your desk, and please put your beard away.”

“What if you were really meant to be with someone? But you kept messing about and having the Horn and so on and you lost them.”

“What shall I say? I must tread a fine line between glaciosity and friendlinosity. With just a hint of 'you don't know what you are missing, my fine-feathered friend.”

“And the kittykats would have to erect scaffolding and a pulley to get him down. Mind you, I wouldn't put that past them. Sometimes when they are behind the sofa supposedly purring, I think they are drilling.”

“I am exhausted by trying to get along with the Lord.”

“Anyway, then it said on the news, 'And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten.'I looked down at Jas and said, 'Ooer.' Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons.Vati just looked at us like we were mad.”

“When uncle Eddie does his impression of 'Like a Virgin' it's like Madonna is coming out of his body!'Christ what an image.”

“Oh no. I've just accidently paid a visit to the cakeshop of love. I haven't put back my Italian cakey, but I have accidentally picked up a Dave the Tart.”

“Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!''I don't know, a bowl?''Non... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!”

“And that's when it fell off in my hand”

“Nippy Noodles”

“Non...I am DANCING IN MY NUDDY-PANTS!!!'And we both laughed like loons on loon tablets. I danced for ages round the house in my nuddy-pants. Also, I did this brilliant thing-I danced in the front window just for a second whilst Mr. Across the Road was drawing his curtains. He will never be sure if he saw a mirage or not. That is the kind of person I am. Not really the kind of person who goes and raises elks in Whakatane.”