Michelle Hodkin

“I wish we could make out in your bed."Noah sighed. "As do I, but I'm afraid we have ritual burning to conduct.""It's always something.""Isn't it though?”

“This is where the privileged send their screwed-up progeny; no gluing macaroni to construction paper for us." He paused meaningfully. "They only let us CREATE with RICCIOLINI here.""I don't even know what that is.""It's very fancy, I assure you”

“You like them," I realized.Noah's eyebrows lifted in question."Like as people.""As opposed to...furniture?""They're my PARENTS.""That is my understanding, yes.”

“The people we care about are always worth more to us than the people we don't. No matter what anyone pretends.”

“My father might be right. If I lost Noah, I might just lose my mind.”

“Well, schmear my bagel, if it isn't Mara Dyer.”

“Grounded likely means no phone or computer," Jamie said. "But if I encounter an owl, I'll try to smuggle a message to the outside, okay?”

“Mara, if you're tired, I can hear it. If you're hurt, I can feel it. And if you lie, I will know it.”

“Noah started this chase and I stood before him, waiting to be caught. He could have me, but he refused to move.Only now did I realize why.He wanted to be caught. He was waiting for me to chase him.”

“You can't hurt me the way you think you can. But even if you could? I would rather die with the taste of you on my tongue than live and never touch you again. I'm in love with you, Mara. I love you. No matter what you do.”

“They lie, you know. It's not easier to ask for forgiveness. Not even a little.”

“Noah stood slowly, his body skimming mine as he rose. "Today. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever." Noah's eyes held mind. his stare was infinite. "I was made for you, Mara.”

“Let me try.”

“Noah acted like he felt nothing because he felt everything. He seemed not to care because he cared too much.”

“Anna turned the pages slowly for effect, and like some demonic schoolmarm, held the book at an angle to provide maximum exposure to the assembled crowd. Everyone needed to have the opportunity to catch a long, languorous glimpse of my disgrace. "This looks so much like you," she said to Noah, pressing her body against his. "My girl is talented," Noah said. My heart stopped beating. Anna's heart stopped beating. Everyone's heart stopped beating. The buzzing of a solitary gnat would have sounded obscene in the stillness. "Bullshit," Anna whispered finally, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. She hadn't moved an inch. Noah shrugged. "I'm a vain bastard, and Mara indulges me." After a pause, he added, "I'm just glad you didn't get your greedy little claws on the other sketchbook. That would have been embarrassing." His lips curved into a sly smile as he slid from the picnic table he'd been sitting on. "Now, get the fuck off me," he said calmly to a dumbfounded, speechless Anna as he pushed past her plucking the sketchbook roughly from her hands. And walked over to me. "Let's go," Noah ordered gently, once he was at my side. His body brushed the line of my shoulder and arm protectively. And then he held out his hand. I wanted to take it and I wanted to spit in Anna's face and I wanted to kiss him and I wanted to knee Aiden Davis in the groin. Civilization won out, and I willed each individual nerve to respond to the signal I sent with my brain and placed my fingers in his. A current traveled from my fingertips through to the hollow where my stomach used to be. And just like that, I was completely, utterly and entirely, His.”

“I can't bear to look at my bed without seeing you in it.”

“Don’t tempt me. Now, what are you wearing?”“A hoodie and drawstring pants too, I guess.”“Anything underneath?”“I don’t typically walk around without underwear.”“Typically?”“Only on special occasions.”“Christ. I meant under your hoodie”

“I must be made of nothing to feel so much nothing.”

“Sometimes, the biggest secrets you can only tell a stranger.”

“My brother cleared his throat. "I wish she knew that I think she is the most hilarious person on Earth. And that whenever she's not home, I feel like I'm missing my partner in crime."My throat tightened. Do not cry. Do not cry."I wish she knew that she's really Mom's favorite--" I shook my head here."--the princess she always wanted. That Mom used to dress her up like a little doll and parade her around like Mara was her greatest achievement. I wish Mara knew that I never minded, because she's my favorite too.”

“It doesn’t matter what we are. It matters what we do.”

“Everyone is a little crazy. The only difference between us and them is that they hide it better.”

“They rattled my cage to see if I'd bite. When they released me, they'd see that the answer was yes.”

“But when everyone tells you you're crazy and no one believes you when you swear you aren't, a small part of you will always wonder if they're right.”

“I knew one hundred little things about Noah Shaw but when he kissed me I couldn't remember my own name.”

“Her graphite pencil scratches the thick paper and it is the soundtrack to my bliss. That, and her sound - dissonant, aching. Her breath and heartbeat and pulse are my new favorite symphony; I'm beginning to learn which notes will play when, and to interpret them.”

“The boy is destined for greatness, but with you, he is in danger...You must leave him. This is what I have seen.""I can't," was all I said to her, and quietly."Then you will love him to ruins," she said, and let my hands go.”

“Now you're just being cruel.""I like pushing your buttons.""You'd enjoy it more if you undid them first.”

“What do I sound like?" I asked, more breathily than I intended. God, so predictable.He considered his answer for a moment before he gave it. "Dissonant," he said finally."Meaning?"Another long pause. "Unstable."Hmm.He shook his head. "Not the way you're thinking," he said, the shadow of a smile on his lips. "In music, consonant chords are points of arrival. Rest. There's no tension," he tried to explain. "Most pop music hooks are consonant, which is why most people like them. They're catchy but interchangeable. Boring. Dissonant intervals, however, are full of tension," he said, holding my gaze. "You can't predict which way they're going to go. It makes limited people uncomfortable - frustrated, because they don't understand the point, and people hate what they don't understand. But the ones who get it," he said, lifting a hand to my face, "find it fascinating. Beautiful." He traced the shape of my mouth with his thumb. "Like you.”

“I’ll walk forever with stories inside me that the people I love the most can never hear.”

“There is no truth," Stephanie said mysterously. "Only perspectives.”

“Our mouths were fluent in the language of each other and we moved with one mind and shared the same breath.”

“But my favorite half-smile appeared on his mouth. I wanted to live in it. "How long do you want me?" he asked.How long can I have you? I thought.”

“I did something brave, then. Or stupid. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference.”

“If I truly loved him, she said, I would let him go. I wish I loved him enough.”

“But you know what their real problem with me was? I never wanted to be one of them. That’s what bothers bullies the most.”

“You’re stronger than you believe. Don’t let your fear own you. Own yourself.”

“This was the boy I loved. A little bit messy. A little bit ruined. A beautiful disaster. Just like me.”

“I’m too selfish to leave you,” I said. Noah pulled back so I could see his smile. “I’m too selfish to let you.”

“There will come a moment when there's nothing you want more than us. Together. When you're free of every fear and there is nothing in our way.”

“I'm not sure you can appreciate how much I want to lay you out before me and make you scream my name.”

“How long do you want me?" he asked.How long can I have you? I thought.”

“If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.”

“Pride goes before the fall.”

“What are my options?""You could read obscure poetry while I play the triangle, I suppose. Or we can smother ourselves in peanut butter and howl at the moon. Use your imagination.""Fine,"I said. "You take my hand and back up toward the bed.""Excellent choice. What then?""You sit down, and pull me down with you.""Where are you?" he asked."You pull me onto your lap.""Where are your legs?""Around your waist.""Well," Noah said, his voice slightly rough. "This is getting interesting. So I'm on the edge of your bed. I'm holding you on my lap as you straddle me. My arms are around you, bracing you there so you don't fall. What am I wearing?"..."What do you usually wear to bed?" I asked.Noah said nothing. I opened my eyes to an arched brow and a devious grin.Oh my God."Close. Your. Eyes," he said. I did. "Now, where were we?""I was straddling you," I said."Right. And I'm wearing...""Drawstring pants.""Those are quite thin, you know."I'm aware...."Right," he said. "So what are you wearing?""I don't know. A space suit. Who cares?""I think this should be as vivid as possible," he said. "For you," he clarified, and I chuckled. "Eyes closed," he reminded me. "I'm going to have to institute a punishment for each time I have to tell you.""What did you have in mind?""Don't tempt me. Now, what are you wearing?""A hoodie and drawstring pants too, I guess.""Anything underneath?""I don't typically walk around without underwear.""Typically?""Only on special occasions.""Christ. I meant under your hoodie.""A tank top, I guess.""What color?""White tank. Black hoodie. Gray pants. I'm ready to move on now."I felt him nearer, his words close to my ear. "To the part where I lean back and pull you down with me?"Yes."Over me," he said.Fuck."The part where I tell you that I want to feel the softness of the curls at the nape of your neck? To know what your hipbone would feel like against my mouth?" he murmured against my skin. "To memorize the slope of your navel and the arch of your neck and the swell of your-”

“I was poison, and Noah was the drug that would made me forget it.”

“What is real?" Asked the boy. "It is a thing that happens to you when a girl loves you for a long time. Not just to play with," Noah said. "But really loves you." "Does it hurt?" Asked the boy. "Sometimes. When you are real you don't mind being hurt.”

“Who peed in your cheerios?”

“Um, I think your brother might be waving at you. That, or trying to guide a plane to safety.”

“Noah was no longer at my side when I turned. He had Kent from algebra pinned against the car. "I should injure you considerably," he said in a low voice"Dude, chill." Kent was completely calm."Noah," I heard myself say. "Its not worth it."Noah's eyes narrowed, but apon hearing my voice, he released Kent who straightened his shirt and brushed the front of his khakis. "Get fucked, Kent," Noah said as he turned away.The idiot laughed, "Oh, I will."Noah whirled around and I heard the unmistakable impact of knuckles meeting face. Kent was on the concrete, his hands clutching his nose. When he started to get up, Noah said, "I wouldn't. I'm barely above kicking the shit out of you on the ground. Barely.""You broke my nose!" Blood streamed down Kents shirt and a crowd formed a small circle around the three of us. A teacher parted the throng and called out, "Principals office NOW, Shaw."Noah ignored him and walked over to me, inordinately calm. He placed his good hand on the small of my back and my legs threatened to dissolve. The bell rang and I looked at Noah as he leaned in and brushed his lips against my ear.He whispered into my hair, "It was worth it." - The Unbecoming Of Mara Dyer”