Michelle Hodkin

“I rushed ahead until another girls' bathroom appeared. I pushed the door open, planning to leave Noah outside while I collected myself.But he followed me in.Two younger girls were standing at te mirror applying lip gloss."Get out," Noah said to them, his voice laced with boredom. As if they were the ones who didn't belong in the girls' bathroom.”

“It doesn't bother me," I said. "If you don't mind looking forty years old at twenty, smelling like an ashtray, and getting lung cancer, why should I?”

“This changed nothing. Nothing at all. Noah Shaw was still a whore, still an asshole, and still painfully out of my league. This was my inner mantra, the one I repeated on a loop until Noah tilted his head and spoke. "You coming in?"Yes. Yes I was.”

“There's nothing I want. There's nothing I can't do. I don't care about anything. No matter what, I am an imposter. An actor in my own life.”

“Dead end after dead end. Did you find the answers you were looking for in that book?”“I haven’t had a chance to read it yet,” I said nonchalantly.A half-smile tugged at Noah’s mouth. “You fell asleep, didn’t you?”I lifted my chin. “No.”“What page?”“I didn’t fall asleep.”“What page?”Busted. “Six,”

“You will love him to ruins.”

“And I freaked the fuck out in earnest.”

“While Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications and gasp in the throes of his overachieving OCDness.”

“I pointed to it."Yuca," Noah said.I pointed to the dough balls."Fried plantains."I pointed to a low bowl filled with what purported to be stew, but then Noah said, "Are you going to point, or are you going to eat?”

“I didnt notice the small, black streak of fur hurtling in my direction untill it she was only a few feet away. Noah whisked the dog into the air just as it charged for me. "You little bitch," Noah said to the snarling dog. "Behave.”

“I'll be there at ten.""Oh," I said suprised. "For some reason I thought that this was a day thing.""Halarious. Ten in the morning, darling." "Can't a girl sleep in on the weekend!""You don't sleep. See you Sunday, and don't wear stupid shoes." Noah said, and hung up before I could reply. I stood, staring at the phone. He was so aggravating. But a nervous thrill traveled through my stomach. Me and Noah. Sunday. Just us.”

“Everyone needed to have the opportunity to catch a long langorous glimpse of my disgrace. "This looks so much like you," she said to Noah pressing her body against his."My girl is talented," Noah said. My heart stopped beating. Anna's heart stopped beating. Everyone's heart stopped beating. The buzzing of a solitary gnat would have sounded obscene in the stillness."Bullshit," Anna whispered finally, but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. She hadn't moved an inch. Noah shrugged."Im a vein bastard, and Mara indulges me." After a pause, he added, "Im just glad you didnt get your greedy little claws on the other sketchbook. That would have been embarrasing." His lips curved into a sly smile as he slid from the picnic table he'd been sitting on. "Now, get the fuck off me," he said calmly to a dumbfounded speechless Anna as he pushed past her, plucking the sketchbook roughly from her hands. And walked over to me."Lets go," Noah ordered gently, once he was at my side. His body brushed the line of my shoulder and arm protectively. And then he held out his hand. I wanted to take it and i wanted to spit in Anna's face and i wanted to kiss him and i wanted to knee Aiden Davis in the groin. Civilization won out, and i willed each individual nerve to respond to the signal i sent with my brain and placed my fingers in his. A current traveled from my fingertips through to the hollow where my stomach used to be. And just like that i was completely, utterly and entirely, his.”

“Now be a gentleman and open the door for me. My hands are full.”

“Apenas pude mantener mis manos lejos de ti la otra noche, incluso luego de ver por lo que has pasado esta semana. Incluso después de saber qué tan destrozada estabas cuando me lo dijiste. Y voy a pasar una eternidad en el infierno por ese sueño que tuve sobre ti en tu cumpleaños. Pero si pudiera volver a soñarlo, pasaría la eternidad ahí dos veces.”

“Fix me," I commanded him. "This thing, what I've done - there's something wrong with me, Noah. Fix it."Noah's expression broke my heart as he brushed my hair from my face, and skimmed the line of my neck. "I can't""Why not?" I asked, my voice threatening to crack."Because," he said, "You're not broken.”

“My chest cracked open at his words. I stared into Noah's perfect face and tried to see what he saw. I tried to see us - not individually, not the arrogant, beautiful, reckless lost boy and the angry, broken girl - but what we were, who we were, together. I tried to remember holding his hand at my kitchen table and feeling for the first time since I'd left Rhode Island that I wasn't alone in this. That I belonged.”

“He didn't look like the same person who picked me up this morning. Noah--sarcastic, distant, untouchable Noah--cared. And that made him real.”

“When Ms. Adams took attendance and called out the name of an absent classmate, Noah’s hand shot up. I watched him cautiously. After she finished roll call, Noah stood, completely unself-conscious as heads followed his progress to the front of the room.“Um—” Ms. Adams checked her clipboard. “Ibrahim Hassin?”Noah nodded. I died.”

“The phone rang. Joseph darted to pick it up.“Dyer residence,” he answered formally.“Hold please,” he said as he covered the mouthpiece. He really was hilarious. “It’s for you, Mara,” he said. “And it’s a booooy,” he sing-songed.I rolled my eyes but wondered who it could be. “I’m taking it in my room,” I said as Joseph erupted in giggles. Horrible.”

“Where are you going?”“My God, you’re like the plague.”“A masterfully crafted, powerfully understated, and epic parable of timeless moral resonance? Why, thank you. That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me,” he said.“The disease, Noah. Not the book.”“I’m ignoring that qualification.”

“I don’t have a favorite color, though I strongly dislike yellow. Horrid color.”I resolved to wear something yellow the next time I saw him. Yellow from head to toe, if I could manage it.”

“Thinking something does not make it true. Wanting something does not make it real.”

“You made me real, and I will hurt for you and because of you and be grateful for the pain. But this? This is forever. Don't do this.”

“He would kiss me, right now, after everything I'd done. I was poison, and Noah was the drug that would make me forget it.”

“Why, Noah, do you know the word for vagina in every language?""Because I’m European, and therefore more cultured than you.”

“Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie.”

“Noah´s bed.In Noah´s room.Without any clothes on. Holy shit.”

“Me quieres tanto como yo te quiero. Y todo lo que yo quiero es a ti (...) Hoy. Esta noche. Mañana. Para siempre.(...) Yo fui hecho para ti, Mara. -Noah”

“―Se supone que debes decir: “Todo lo que quiero es tu felicidad. Voy a hacer lo que sea, incluso si eso significa estar sin ti”―Lo siento ―dijo Noah―. No soy tan buena persona.”

“No hay nada que quiera. No hay nada que no pueda hacer. No me importa nada. No importa qué, soy un impostor. Un actor en mi propia vida.”

“―Oh, Dios. Por favor, no ―dije. Quizás la honestidad sería la mejor política―. Mi familia va a arruinar mi vida si vienes. ―Los conocía demasiado bien.―Felicitaciones, acabas de hacer la perspectiva aún más tentadora. ¿Cuál es tu dirección?”

“Una corriente viajó desde la punta de mis dedos a través del hueco donde mi estómago solía estar.Y así nada más, yo fui completa, total y enteramente suya. -Mara”

“So." Noah said carefully. I was sitting up cross-legged and tangled in my sheets."So." I said back"Would you like to hear about Curious George's new adventures?"I shook my head."Are you sure?" Noah asked. "He's been such a naughty monkey.""Pass.”

“I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while, but I think it's one of those classics you can come back to again... and again.”

“I'd hit that so hard whoever pulled me out would become the King of England.”

“My girl is talented," Noah said.My heart stopped beating.”

“You're distracting,' I said truthfully.'I won't be. I promise,' Noah said. 'I'll get some crayons and draw quitely. Alone. In a corner.”

“What could I say? Noah, despite you being an asshole, or maybe because of it, I'd like to rip off your clothes and have your babies.”

“I don't have feelings.”

“Did I just see you litter?''I'm driving a hybrid. It cancels out.”

“Why do you always look like you just rolled out of bed?''Because usually I have.' And the way he raised his eye-brow at me made me blush.'Classy,' I said.”

“That mouth. Smoking was a bad habit, yes. But he looked so good doing it.”

“Let me guess. A certain unkempt bastard with a panty-dropping smile?”

“No, it isn't irrelevant. You want me as much as I want you. And all I want is you.”

“And then you show up with the voice from my nightmare, and you call me an asshole.”

“I looked closely at it for the first time; the charm was just a slim line of silver - half of it hammered into the shape of a feather, the other half a dagger. It was interesting and beautiful; just like him.”

“I've already learned Parseltongue. What else is there?""Elvish.”

“I hate you," I muttered.Noah smiled wider. "I know.”

“I was warned about you, you know."And with that half-smile that wrecked me, Noah said, "But you're here anyway.”

“I laughed as I twisted to face him and raised my arm to hit in one move. He caught my wrist and my laugh caught in my throat. A mischievous grin curved my mouth as I raised my other hand to hit him. He reached over me and caught that wrist too, gently pinning my arms above my head as he straddled my hips. The space between us boiled my blood.”