Rachel Caine

“Yeah, I know. Terror Aerobics. Just wait until they get it at the gym. It'll be bigge than pilates. --Eve”

“No. --ClaireBullshit! Yes, a world of yes. --Eve”

“You. O Positive. How many exits?""What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?”

“Claire: So we do nothing?Michael: We do the best nothing you've ever seen.”

“You're just full of awesome; did you know that?”

“Things that Shane doesn't want on his grave: (1.) I thought it wasn't loaded.(2.) Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank.(3.) Killed over Ice Cream”

“(eve)"what?"(claire)"monica got him to ask me. Told them to do this." (eve)"bitch! okay,i take it all back. She needs a good blowtorching." "no",Claire said faintly."Nobody deservs that. Nobody." (eve) "Great.Saint Claire,the patron saint of the kick-me sign.”

“Of course, I thought I was badass at sixteen, too. Wait, I was badass at sixteen. Oh, yeah.”

“Slow down. I’m not going anywhere. You know that, right? You don’t have to put out to keep me here. Well, as long as you eventually–”“Shut up.”

“I’m not leaving,” Sam said, his eyes fixed on the boy he was holding. “Not until Disney Princess here apologizes, or his head comes off, one of the two.”

“Saint Claire, the patron saint of the kick-me sign.”

“We had this talk,” she said. “You may be dead sexy, and I mean, like, really dead and really sexy, but you don’t get to tell me what to do. Right? And no head-shrinker stuff, either, or I swear to God, I’ll pack my shit and move!”

“Won? He’s one of them! How exactly is that winning?”Michael shook his head, moved up behind her, and put his hands on her shoulders. He kissed the nape of her neck gently. “I don’t know, Eve. I’m just telling you what I heard. He got some kind of agreement out of the vampires. And it was because Amelie loved him.”“Yeah, loved him enough to kill him and turn him into a bloodsucking fiend,” Eve said grimly. “How sweet. Romance isn’t dead. Oh, wait. It is.”

“Shane’s dad stopped the van,” Claire said. “He took Monica as a hostage.”For a second, neither one of them moved, and then Eve whooped and held up her hand for a high five. Claire just stared at her, and Eve compensated by clapping both hands over her head. “Yesssss!” she said, and did a totally geeky victory dance. “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer psycho!”“Hey!” Claire yelled, and Eve froze in midcelebration. It was stupid, but Claire was angry; she knew Eve was right, knew she had no reason at all to think Monica was ever going to be anything but a gigantic pain in the ass, but… “Shane’s dad’s going to burn her if they go through with the execution. He has a blowtorch.”The glee dropped out of Eve’s expression. “Oh,” she said. “Well…still. Not like she didn’t ask for it. Karma’s a bitch, and so am I.”

“I – talked to her. She understands. She won’t do anything stupid.” He didn’t look at Claire when he said that, and she wondered what kind of talking that might have been.Her mother had always said, when in doubt, ask.“Was it the kind of talk where you gave her something to live for? Like maybe, um, you?”“Did I – what the hell are you talking about?”“I just thought maybe you and her–”“Claire, Jesus!” Michael said. She’d actually made him flinch. Wow. That was new. “You think banging me is going to make her forget about charging out to commit cold-blooded vampire slaying? I don’t know what kind of standards you have on sex, but those are pretty high. Besides, whatever’s between me and Eve – well, it’s between me and Eve.” Until she tells me about it later, Claire thought.”

“Right. That’s the end of the line for you tonight. You’re going home, I’m seeing you safe inside, and I’m going home to hide in a closet until this blows over. I suggest you do the same.”

“So you’ll just kill anyone who frightens you. Who could hurt you.”“Well…yes.”

“I’m sorry, Eve. I love you. I’m not letting you do this.”She screamed and battered harder. “You love me? You asshole! Let me go!”

“Hey,” he said softly. He moved closer to the bars, pressing his face between them. “I always said you were jailbait, but this is ridiculous.”

“She doesn’t usually back down that easily.”“Maybe she’s got class.”Eve snorted. “Trust me,” she said. “That girl’s got no class at all.”

“I liked you better when you were this timid little kid. What happened?”“I started living with you guys.”“Oh, right.”

“So we do nothing?” Claire asked.“We do the best nothing you’ve ever seen.”

“You are the weirdest girl ever.”“Please. You live with Eve.”

“Ummm…” She licked her lips. “Define fun.”“Quit doing that, jailbait. It’s distracting.”

“No, Michael was all good. Killed, dismembered, buried, reborn…yeah, just another day in the life.”

“Hell’s put in a skating rink,” Shane said. “This is actually edible, Eve.”

“What’s burning?”“Your brain.”

“Um… Eve…can I ask…?”“About what?” Eve was still frowning at the pasta like she suspected it to do something clever, like try to escape the pot.“You and Michael.”“Oh.” A surge of pink to Eve’s cheeks. Between that and the fact that she was wearing colors outside of the Goth red and black rainbow, she looked young and very cute. “Well. I don’t know if it’s – God, he’s just so–”“Hot?” Claire asked.“Hot,” Eve admitted. “Nuclear hot. Surface of the sun hot. And–”She stopped, the flush in her cheeks getting darker. Claire picked up a wooden spoon and poked the pasta, which was beginning to loosen up. “And?”“And I was planning on putting the moves on him before all this happened. That’s why I had on the garters and stuff. Planning ahead.”“Oh, wow.”“Yeah, embarrassing. Did he peek?”“When you were changing?” Claire asked. “I don’t think so. But I think he wanted to.”“That’s okay then.” Eve blinked down at the pasta, which had formed a thick white foam on top. “Is it supposed to be doing that?”Claire hadn’t ever seen it happen at her parents’ house. But then again, they hadn’t made spaghetti much. “I don’t know.”“Oh, crap!” The white foam kept growing, like in one of those cheesy science fiction movies. The foam that ate the Glass House…it mushroomed up over the top of the pot and down over the sides, and both girls yelped as it hit the burners and began to sizzle and pop. Claire grabbed the pot and moved it. Eve turned down the burner. “Right, pasta makes foam, good to know. Too hot. Way too hot.”“Who? Michael?” Claire asked, and they dissolved in giggles.”

“Want me to warm up the sauce?”“Do we do that? I mean, it’s in a jar, right? Can’t you just dump it over the pasta?”“Well, you can, but it tastes better if you warm it up.”“Oh.” Eve sighed. “This is complicated. No wonder I never cook.”

“I have permission to live off campus.” She didn’t say from whom, because it was primarily herself.”

“Bite me, Dracula.”

“Just who are you planning to call? Ghostbusters?”

“Swear to God, you come near us and–”“Like this?” The biker sidestepped a slash from the hockey stick, grabbed it on the way, and yanked it out of Eve’s hands. He tossed it over his shoulder to land on the floor with a clatter. “This near enough? Whatcha gonna do, doll girl?”Claire hid her eyes as the biker reached out for Eve with one tattooed hand.“No,” Eve said breathlessly. “I’m going to let my boyfriend beat the crap out of you.”There was a dull thunk of wood meeting flesh, and a howl. Then another, harder thunk, and a crash as a body hit the floor.The biker was down. Claire stared at him in disbelief, then looked past him, to the figure standing there with the field hockey stick in both hands.Michael Glass. Back from the dead, again, a gorgeous blond avenging angel, breathing hard.”

“Michael held me when I got inside, because I was shaking all over. That felt so good. Warm all the way down. Did I mention Michael’s feet? They’re all the way sexy, and he’s always barefoot – he hates shoes. I wish he hated pants and shirts, too.”

“The vamp in McMann’s stared at me. I guess he didn’t like the Goth look. Most of them don’t; somehow they think I’m making fun of them.Which I totally am.”

“OMG OMG OMG, Shane is totally crushing on the new roomie! I can’t believe it. I always pictured Shane going after blond beach hotties. Who knew he liked big brains and teeny little bodies? Although, to be fair, she is cute as a button. (Why do we say that? What’s so cute about a button, anyway?)”

“Planet Shane is a lovely place a long way from here.”

“I’m saying a prayer. Maybe you ought to, too. It’s going to take us a miracle to get through this.”Whether he was serious or not, Claire sent the prayer up toward heaven, and she thought the others did, too. So it seemed kind of miraculous when the doorbell rang.“At least they’re getting more polite when they try to kill us,” Shane said.”

“See? My plans don’t all suck. Just most of them.”

“You are not my high school crush, idiot.”“Great. I can die happy, then.”

“Kid,” Richard said wearily, “I am not in the mood. I haven’t slept in thirty-six hours, my sister’s crazy–”“Hey!” Monica protested.“–and you’re not my high school crush–”“He is not my high school crush, Richard!”“The point it, I couldn’t give a crap about you, your friends, or your problems, because for me this isn’t personal. Monica will kill you because she’s nuts. I’ll kill you because you make me kill you. Are we straight?”“Well,” Shane said, “That’s kind of a personal question.”

“He sounded harassed more than anything else, like mass home invasion was just something standing between him and morning coffee.”

“Michael!” Oliver’s voice came faint through the front door. “Something you should see, my boy! Look out your windows!”“Trap,” Shane said instantly, and reached out to grab Michael’s arm as he walked by. “Don’t, man.”“What’s he going to do? Make faces at me?”

“Because you know, I’m your best friend, but you’re just not that badass, man.”

“I’d say over my dead body, but I think you already made that point,” Michael snapped. “Thanks for the visit. Now fuck off, man.”

“But – Michael, you said you didn’t know Oliver, and–”“I didn’t, until he killed me. We were never formally introduced.”

“Eve said, in a high, squeaky, airless voice, “The ghost! You’re the ghost Miranda was talking about! Oh my God, Michael, you’re the ghost! You bastard!”He nodded, still concentrating on breathing.Eve got control of her voice and squealed, “That is without a doubt the coolest damn thing I have ever seen in my entire life!”

“What in the hell is going on around here?” she yelled. “Could you guys keep it down to aircraft-carrier noise?”

“Dammit, Michael, get out of my room, you pervert!” Could you even be a pervert if you were dead? She supposed you could, if you had a working body half the time. “I swear, I’m going to start taking my clothes off!”The cold spot stayed resolutely put until she got the hem of her T-shirt all the way up to her bra line, and then faded away. “Chicken,” she said, and paced the room, back and forth.”

“Is it him?” Dad asked. “Did he get you into trouble?”“Not me,” Shane said. “I’ve just got that kind of face.”