Rachel Caine

“I’m not a kid!” she told Shane hotly. “I’m only, like, a year younger than Eve!”“And girls are much more mature.” Eve nodded wisely. “So you’re about ten years older than Shane, then.”“Seriously,” Claire insisted. “I’m not a kid!”“Whatever you say, kid,” Shane said blandly. “Cheer up. Just means you don’t have to put up with me telling you how much sex I didn’t get.”“I’m telling Michael,” Eve warned.“About how much sex I didn’t get? Go ahead.”

“It’s in Latin.”“So? What does it say?”“I don’t read Latin!”“You’re kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn’t that the international language for smart people?”

“Unless you want to hang a This Vein for Rent sign around your neck, move already!”

“Tell me he’s not talking to Brandon,” Claire said.“Um… Ok. He’s not talking to Brandon.”“You’re lying.”“Yeah. He’s talking to Brandon. Look, let Shane do his thing, okay? He’s not as stupid as he looks, mostly.”

“Not everything is about beating your head against the wall until it breaks.”“Just most things.”

“You’re kind of a psycho. I get that.”“I might be,” Monica agreed, and gave her a slow, strange smile. “You’re one smart little freak. Now run away, smart little freak, before I change my mind and stick you in one of these old suitcases for some architect to find a hundred years from now.”Claire blinked. “Archaeologist.”Monica’s eyes turned winter cold. “Oh, you’d better start running away now.”

“Oh, hey, Claire,” she said, and blinked. “Where are you going?”“Funeral,” Shane said. On-screen, a zombie shrieked and died gruesomely.“Yeah? Cool! Whose?”“Hers.” Shane said.”

“Bracelets with white symbols?” Michael made the question casual; in fact, he bent his head and concentrated on tuning his guitar, not that it needed it. Every note sounded perfect as it whispered out of the strings. “Do you remember?”“No.” She felt a pure burst of something that wasn’t quite panic, wasn’t quite excitement. “Does that mean they have Protection?”He hesitated for about a second, just long enough for her to know he was surprised. “You mean condoms?” he asked. “Doesn’t everybody?”

“You’re not seriously going out again, are you?”“Seriously, yeah. Bowling. Her name’s Laura. If you want more details, you’re gonna have to download the video like everybody else.”

“Not bad,” she finally said. “At least you left out the oh-my-God sauce this time.”“Made myself a batch with it,” Shane said. “It’s got the biohazard sticker on it in the fridge, so don’t bitch if you get flamed. Where’d you pick up the stray?”“Outside. She came to see the room.”“You beat her up first, just to make sure she’s tough enough?”“Bite me, chilli boy.”

“Shane padded back to the couch and flopped, sucking on his own can of soda. Eve shot him an exasperated look. “Yeah, man, thanks for bringing me one, too.” The raccoon eye make-up exaggerated her eye roll. “Dork.”“Didn’t know if you wanted zombie dirt sprinkled on it or anything. If you’re eating this week.”

“I’m taking off my shoes.’’ ‘‘Fine. Shoes off.’’ ‘‘And my pants.’’ ‘‘Don’t push it, Claire.”

“She was staring at you.''What can I say? Irresistible.' 'Shane, it’s not funny. I just—you should be careful.'Always am.' Which was an absolute lie. Shane’s eyes fixed on hers, and she felt a burst of heat inside that crept up to burn in her cheeks. He smiled slowly. 'Jealous?''Maybe.''No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.”

“And somewhere in heaven, Versace sheds a single, perfect tear.”

“She smells better," Claire said. "And she made me cookies.”

“Hold on, Claire Bear! Next stop, Crazytown!”

“Claire: Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?Michael: Moms like me.”

“why don't you just get the bunny slippers with fangs Myrin?”

“The author wishes to thank: Good fortune, Godiva chocolates, and Slim-Fast”

“She looked creepy/adorable.”

“Now play nicely, make-believe dead girl”

“God, it was hot! Forget about frying an egg on the sidewalk; this kind of heat would fry an egg inside the chicken.”

“Don’t!” Lillian yelled, and put up her arms when Shane pulled back the bat.“Hell,” Shane spat in disgust. “I can’t hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her.” He tossed her the bat. Claire grabbed it and came to a clumsy batting stance, wishing she’d paid more attention in phys ed. Lillian screamed again and ran into the open doorway of Eve’s room. Eve, coming up the stairs, screamed, too, for different reasons.“Hey! That’s my room, bitch!” And she flew in to grab Lillian by the hair, swing her around, and throw her out into the hall, then shoved her toward the stairs. “Michael! This one needs to go out!”

“Unfortunately, my army consists of one unreliable criminal, one girl with adisability, and one incredibly foolish young vampire with a tanning issue. I am not confident.”

“No way they could threaten him, not even with Amelie; he'd already given Amelie the finger on the way out of Morganville and he clearly wasn’t worried about her coming after him— or, if so, what would happen when she did.”

“life is a work in progress.”

“When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.''Snap,' Eve said.'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it.”

“God, I needed you," he murmured. "I can't even tell you how many times I thought about this. The funny thing is, I don't need you any less now. I think I need you more."~Shane~”

“Not nearly enough. Not recently, anyway.” And she was sad about that.“I know,” he said, and kissed the back of her hand. “We’ll fix it. Get some sleep.”“Night,” she said, and watched him walk toward the door. “Hey. How’d you get in?”He wiggled his fingers at her in a spooky oogie-boogie pantomime. “I’m a vampire. I have secret powers ,” he said with a full-on fake Transylvanian accent, which he dropped to say, “Actually, your mom let me in.”“Seriously? My mom? Let you in my room? In the middle of the night?”He shrugged. “Moms like me.”He gave her a full-on Hollywood grin, and slipped out the door.”

“What’s your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know.Dean’s brother—he hadn’t been just some nameless Bad Guy Number Four. This vampire wasn’t, either. He had a name, a history, maybe even people who cared what happened to him.'My name is none of your business,' he said, and continued to stare out the window, even though there was nothing but blurry brick out there.'Can I call you None for short?”

“Myrnin: Have we been introduced?Frank: Probably not. Why, you asking me out, sweetheart?Myrnin: You’re not my type, darling.”

“I like the sound of that, crashing Monica's party," he glanced at Michael, then quickly away. "What about you? That break some kind of vampire rules or something?""Blow me Shane.""Boys," Eve said primly. "Language. Minor at the table.""Well," Shane said, "I wasn't actually planning to do it."Claire rolled her eyes. "Not like it's the first time I've heard it. Or said it.""You shouldnt say it," Michael said, all seriousness. "No, I mean it. Girls should say 'eat me' not 'blow me'. Wouldn't recommend 'bite me' though. Not around here.”

“My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.”

“I just went to work for a vampire, was scared by a spider, and got knocked down by a tanning bomb. And that’s just my day, not my week.”

“THTL— too hot to live ”

“Who are you calling?" (claire)Pizza hut" (shane)Loser" (claire)”

“As he filled the mug with coffee, Michael waited for Shane to make some sense. Which Shane finally did, holding up the cheaply printed white flyer. It curled around the edges from where it had been rolled up to fit in the mailbox. “What have I always wanted in this town?” he asked. “A strip club that would let in fifteen year olds?” Michael said.“When I was fifteen. No, seriously, what?”“Guns ‘R Us?”Shane made a harsh buzzer sound. “Okay, to be fair, yeah, that’s a good alternate answer. But no. I always wanted a place to seriously train to fight, right? Someplace that didn't think aerobics was a martial art? And look!”

“Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?'And Myrnin said, shockingly, 'I will.' And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, '—frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!' and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. 'Is that what you meant, my lord?”

“[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]"Don't they teach you anything in your schools?""Not about this.""Pity. I suppose that's what comes of your main education flowing from Google.”

“I'm a vampire, idiot. I don't have x-ray vision." "Some supernatural monster you are, remind me to trade you in for a werewolf, bro. Probably be more useful right now.”

“I am not getting you a brain, because I am not that kind of assistant, Dr. Frankenstein.”

“The universe explodes, hell freezes, and Shane does something resonable.”

“She was poison in a pretty bottle.”

“Bite me”

“I have the feeling I’ve been—unpleasant.”

“That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay.”

“karma's a bitch, and so am I”

“I drink blood, you eat tacos, get the f*ck over it!" -Michel Glass”

“Crosses?""Definitely""Why?""Because they're evil, soulless, bloodsucking fiends?""So was my sixth-grade gym teacher, but he wasn't afraid of a cross.”

“And that, Claire thought, was why Morley had been right about this, even if he was a complete vampire aboutit.You had to save what you could.Amelie had understood that all along, Claire realized. That was why Morganville existed. Because you had totry.”