Rachel Hawkins

“In fact, there was an ancient bearded guy in the corner who looked like he'd probably palled around with Mary Shelley.”

“We were supposed to meet Nick and Daisy by the back entrance (wherever that was) at eight. At 7:45, I was in the bathroom putting on some mascara when Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth.”

“So that was creepy as all get-out."I shivered. "No lie. Captain Mood Swing totally gives demons a bad name, which is quite an accomplishment."But Jenna shook her head. "It wasn't him. Well,I mean, it was him, but not just him. It was the Council members. Did you see how weird they were with Nick and Daisy? Nick looked like he was seconds from blowing us all away, and no one said anything. And that stuff about changing his room?""Makes sense that they're scared of him," I said. "I'm a demon and I'm scared of him.”

“Yeah,maybe later we can all sing a demon version of 'Kumbaya.”

“Bet you didn't know that when you agreed to be 'betrothed' to me, huh? Husband-eviscerating apparently runs in my family."Still no reaction, and I felt shame curl in my belly. "Of course, you also didn't know you were getting a damon bride," I added in a softer tone. Very few people knew what my dad really was. I'd always assumed Cal had found out the same night I did.That's why I was really surprised when he raised his head and said, "I knew.""What?""I knew what you were then, Sophie. Your dad told me before the betrothal. And he told me about your grandmother, and what happened to your grandfather."I shook my head. "Then,why?"Cal took his time before answering. "For one thing, I like your dad. He's done good things for Prodigium. And it-" He broke off with a long exhale. "It felt like some kind of honor, you know? Being asked to be the head of the Council's son-in-law. Plus, your dad, he,uh,told me a lot about you."My voice was barely above a whisper. "What did he say?""That you were smart, and strong. Funny. That you had trouble using your powers, but you were always trying to use them to help people." He shrugged. "I thought we'd be a good match."The vast dining room suddenly felt very small, like it consisted only of this table and me and Cal. "Look, Sophie," he started to say.But before he could finish, Jenna walked in. "I am so glad I still get to eat human food, because that bacon smells insane..." she said, and then froze. "Oh!" she exclaimed, her ealier bounciness draining out of her. "Sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt...whatever. I c-can...leave?" She gestured with her thumb over her shoulder. "And then come back,uh, later?"But the moment was broken. Cal sat back, and I pushed my hair behind my ears. "No,it's fine," I said quickly, concentrating harder on my eggs than I had on my SAT.”

“I didn't stay just for you."I kept my eyes down. "Right.Of course you didn't.Duh."His foot nudged mine under the table, and I finally looked up at him. He was leaning forward, his face intense. "I mean it. I like Graymalkin. I like being close to the ocean and working outside. Working for the Council would've meant..." He sighed, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. "Offices and planes. And wearing a tie. It wasn't for me.""Cal,it's fine," I insisted, even as my cheeks burned. "I didn't actually think you were hanging out at Hex Hall because of your burning love for me. But that's what I'm telling all the girls back at school," I said, stabbing a forkful of eggs. "I'm thinking 'heartbreaker' might be a nice addition to my 'avenging witch' reputation.”

“How are you enjoying Thorne Abbey?"Cal took a long sip of orange juice before replying. "It's great."I don't think it was possible for Cal to sound less enthusiastic, but either Lara didn't pick up on it, or she didn't care, because she sounded awfully perky as she said, "Well, I'm sure the two of you are welcoming the chance to spend some time together."Cal and I both stared at her. I tried to will her to stop talking, but apparently that power wasn't in my repertoire. Lara flashed us a conspiratorial grin. "Nothing makes me happier than seeing an arrangement that's a real love match."All the awkwardness that had vanished between me and Cal yesterday seemed to swoop back into the room with an audible whoosh.I dared a quick look in his direction, but Cal, as usual, was doing his whole Stoic Man thing. His expression didn't even waver. But then I noticed his hand tightening around his glass."Cal and I aren't...we don't...there's not any, um, love," I finally said. "We're friends."Lara frowned, confused. "Oh. I'm sorry." She turned to Cal, eyebrows raised. "I just assumed that was the reason you turned down the position with the Council."Cal shook his head,and I think he was about to say something, but I beat him to it. "What position with the Council?""It was nothing," he said.Lara gave a delicate snort before saying to me, "After his term at Hecate ended, Mr. Callahan was offered a position as the Council's chief bodyguard. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you initially accept the assignment?" she asked Cal.It was the closest I'd ever seen Cal to angry. Of course, on him, that meant that his brow furrowed a little. "I did, but-" he started to say."But then you heard Sophie was coming to Hecate, and you decided to stay," Lara finished, and her lips twisted in the triumphant smile I'd seen on Mrs. Casnoff's face dozens of times. I stood there, frozen in place, as she turned back to me and said, "Mr. Callahan gave up a chance to travel the world with the council so that he could be little more than a janitor on Graymalkin Island. For you.”

“I wondered if there were any rooms in all of Thorne Abbey that wouldn't leave me gawking in wonder at the doorway.”

“Here"-she handed me the coffee-"I was just bringing this up to you.""Oh,wow,that's really nice of you," I replied, mentally adding Lara to my list of People Who Are Awesome. At Hex Hall, we were practically blasted out of bed in the morning by an alarm that was somewhere between a foghorn and the baying of hell hounds. People bringing you coffee in bed was a way nicer way to wake up.”

“It sounds dumb, but one of the first things I'd thought of was that I'd look like the Vandy: covered in swirling purple markings, even on my face. It wouldn't be an easy thing to explain away in the human world, but I was hoping "crazy spring break" might work.”

“I've loved this house from the moment I set eyes on it," Dad said quietly."I just wish it were a little bigger," I said. "I need at least five hundred bedrooms to keep from feeling cramped, you know?”

“‎"I solemnly swear to tell Mrs. Casnoff that Elodie's ghost looked at me. And if I do not tell her, I swear to buy Jenna a pony. A vampire pony.”

“Well,if there's nothing else you ladies need in the library, Sophie, would you care to accompany me on a walk about the grounds?"I wondered if there were ever times when Dad didn't sound like he'd just escaped from a Jane Austen novel.”

“I found her standing on tiptoes, scanning a shelf that was indeed next to a painting of a dude on a horse. I thought he looked awfully irritated for a guy in such a spiffy ermine cape.”

“I'm guessing it has to do with embracing my destiny as future head of the Council and all.You know, Take Your Demon To Work Day.”

“Jenna and I had spent one very boring Magical Evolution class speculating on what her e-mail address might be. Jenna thought it was probably something dull, like just her name, but my personal vote (and a ten-dollar bet) was for [email protected]. I guess now I could find out.”

“Wow,Cal," I said, feeling a little bit like myself for the first time since I'd walked into this crazy house. "You will be able to have some awesome slumber parties in here.All of the other girls are gonna be so jealous."Cal shot me a half smile, and I felt some of the weird-ness between us dissipate. "It's not so bad," he said. Then he flopped down on the bed, only to sink out of sight in the middle of it. As Cal drowned in a sea of fluffy coverlets and throw pillows, I couldn't help but crack up.Lara looked offended. "That bed originally belonged to the third Duke of Cornwall.""It's great," Cal said, his voice muffled. He gave her the thumbs-up, which only made me and Jenna laugh harder.”

“As we walked, Lara ratted off statistics that I only half listened to. They were unbelievable anyway.Over a million cubic feet of living space. More than three hundred rooms, thirty-one of which were kitchens. Ninety-eight bathrooms. Three hundred and fifty-nine windows. Two thousand four hundred and seventy-six lightbulbs.”

“They have statues," Jenna said. "In a hallway." Sure enough, two bronze statues of veiled women guarded the massive staircase, where even more people were now lining up. They were all wearing black uniforms, and had nearly identical smiles plastered on their faces."What are those people doing?" Jenna whispered to me."I don't know," I replied through a frozen grin, "but I'm afraid a musical number might be involved.""This is our household staff," Dad said, sweeping his arm toward the group. "Anything you need, they'll be happy to help you with.""Oh," I said weakly, feeling like my voice echoed in the cavernous room. "Great.”

“I've heard so much about you, both from your father and from Anastasia.""Mrs. Casnoff?" Oh, God, if that's where this woman had gotten her Sophie Mercer gossip, I was surprised she'd greeted me with a handshake instead of an exorcism.”

“After all, my uniform still had the distinct odor of Nasty Pond.”

“The Bed Thing had happened two months ago. I'd wanted to move my bed, and decided to use magic to do it.Instead of scooting over a few feet, the bed had gone flying out the window, taking a big chunk of the wall with it.Mrs. Casnoff had not been amused.Especially since the Bed Thing had followed the Doritos Incident. Jenna had wanted chips; when I'd tried to make them appear, I'd flooded the hallway with Doritos. There were still traces of cheese dust in the floorboards. Before that, there was That Time With The Lotion (the less said about that, the better).”

“Can't believe the school year is almost over," Beth said, in that voice that sounded like a teenage girl who had a throat full of broken glass and lug nuts.”

“It took me a good thirty minutes to find Cal. That was actually a good thing, because it gave me plenty of time to come up with something to say to him that wasn't just a string of four-letter words.There are a lot of freaky things witches and warlocks do, obviously, but the arranged marriage thing was one of the grossest. When a witch is thirteen, her parents hook her up with an available warlock, based on things like compatible powers and family alliances. The entire thing is so eighteenth century.As I stomped across school grounds, all I could see was Cal sitting with my dad in some manly room with leather chairs and dead animals on the wall, chomping on cigars as Dad formally signed me away to him.They probably even high-fived.Okay,so it's not like either of them are exactly the cigar-and-high-fives type, but still.”

“I'm sure we can manage without him for a few months. Although without his healing powers, we'll certainly have to invest in more bandages.”

“Which will give you enough time to understand the implications of your decision to the fullest," Dad said.I whirled on him. "Okay,first of all, no one talks like that. Secondly, I do understand the implications of my decision. Removing my powers will keep me from potentially killing someone.”

“I'd spent the past six months trying not to think about all that had happened last fall. To have it all read out to me in Dad's emotionless voice...well,let's just say I was beginning to wish I'd stayed in the pond.”

“Quite an impressive file you've amassed, Sophia." Clasping his hands, he added, "If Hecate offered classes in complete mayhem, I have no doubt you'd be valedictorian."Nice to see where I got my snarkiness.”

“Mom frowned, and I wanted to give her a thumbs-up to let her know I was okay. All I could manage was raising my bound hands in her general direction, clocking Cal on the chin as I did so. "Sorry.""No problem. Must be weird for you, having your mom here.""Weird for me, weird for her, probably weird for you since you had to give up your swinging bachelor pad.""Mrs. Casnoff let me install my heart-shaped Jacuzzi in my new dorm room.""Cal," I said with mock astonishment, "did you just make a joke?""Maybe," he replied. We'd reached the end of the pier. I looked down at the water and tried not to shudder."I'll be pretending, of course, but do you have any advice on how I'm supposed to not drown?" I asked Cal."Don't breathe in water.""Oh,thanks,that's super helpful."Cal shifted me in his arms, and I tensed. Just before he tossed me into the pond, he leaned in and whispered, "Good luck."And then I hit the water.I can't say what my first thought was as I sunk below the surface, because it was mostly a string of four-letter words. The water was way too cold for a pond in Georgia in May, and I could feel the chill sinking all the way into my bones. Plus my chest started burning almost immediately, and I sunk all the way to the bottom, landing in the slimy mud.Okay,Sophie,I thought. Don't panic.Then I glanced over to my right, and through the murky water, made out a skull grinning back at me.I panicked.”

“The Vandy said that real witches escaped trial by water by pretending to drown, then freeing themselves with their powers. So she wants you to sink, then save yourself.""I think I can manage the sinking part," I muttered. "The rest...not so sure.""You'll be fine," he said. "And if you're not up in a few minutes, I'll save you.”

“Now.Go all the way into the pond.""Um...how,exactly?"I was afraid she was going to make me hop out into the water until it was over my head, an image too mortifying to even contemplate. Cal stepped forward, hopefully to come to my rescue."I could toss her off the pier, Ms. Vanderlyden."Or not."Good," the Vandy said with a brisk nod, like that had been her plan all along. Then Cal leaned down and swept me into his arms.There were more giggles, and even a few sighs. I knew most girls would give up a vital organ for Cal to hold them, but my face flamed red. I wasn't sure this was any less embarrassing than flopping out into the pond on my own.”

“Maybe we can talk to them,' I said, tubbing my nose with the back of my hand. 'Have a little sit-down chat.''With tea.''Ooh, yeah, with the nice china, and those little sandwiches that don't have crusts.”

“Are we all going to high-five now?' Jenna asked after a pause.'No, but I can make up some kind of secret handshake if you want,' Archer said, and for a second, they smiled at each other.”

“And then, from behind me: "I thought about you. Every day."I froze, my hand still holding the canvas flap.Cal's voice was slightly hoarse as he continued. "Three weeks is a long time to wonder where someone is. All that time, I thought maybe I'd done the wrong thing, telling you to find the Brannicks.I turned around then. I wanted to make a joke, or say something sarcastic, anything that would cut the tension enveloping us. Instead, I said, "I thought about you, too.”

“Make sure you take lots of pictures, and if you come back using words like 'queue' or 'lorry', I'll be very upset.”

“Then viselike fingers clenched my throat, the stake was wrenched from my hand, and a sharp stabbing pain shot up my right thigh as I landed on the ground with a thump that knocked the breath out of me.And as if that wasn’t bad enough, once I landed, something hard and heavy—his knee, I thought—hit me right in the sternum. You know, just in case there was one last breath left in my lungs. The point of the stake scraped the sensitive skin just under my chin. I looked up, wheezing, into Archer’s face.”

“I had no idea what anyone would ever need a demon for.Errands? General evil tasks that needed doing around the house?”

“It was one thing to get laid out by Archer in Defense, but being attacked out of nowhere by my great-grandmother was just embarrassing.”

“I am not snotty!" I nearly yelped.He leaned back on his elbows, a wicked smile on his face. "Please.The first day I met you,you practically had a layer of permafrost covering you.”

“Jenna had started swimming in the deep end of the pity pool.”

“You're the healing janitor dude.""Groundskeeper.""Isn't that like a janitor?""No, it's like a groundskeeper.”

“I wasn't interrupting," I interrupted, and Ms. East's mouth tilted down ever farther, which meant I'd just crossed into the land of Royally Screwed.”

“They're pretty conspicuous.""Why? Are they green and horny?" I willed a blush away and said, "I mean, as in having horns,not...the other.”

“You okay?" Archer asked as he opened the door."Yeah," I said, but I was freaked out. "It's just...Can I ask you something really weird?""Those are my favorite kinds of questions.”

“I'm impressed." I meant it, and he nodded his head in thanks."Yeah, turning jars into soda.Let the world tremble before my power.”

“I'd assumed he'd be old and burly with a side order of crotchety.”

“So he really liked her.I'd been harboring this secret fantasy that he was only pretending to like her so that he could publicly dump her in the most embarrasing way possible, perferably on national television.”

“Whatever. I can't even imagine having a fiance.""You probably have one, you know."I stared at him. "Excuse me?""Your dad is a really important guy. I'm sure he made a match for you when you were thirteen."I didn't even want to get into that. The thought that there was some warlock out there who was planning on making me his missus one day was too much to handle. What if he was here at Hecate? What if I knew the guy? Oh God, what if it was that kid with bad breath who sat right behind me in Magical Evolution?I made a mental note to ask my mom about all of this as soon as I decided to speak to her again.”

“Jenna had tried to cheer me up that morning, saying, "At least you have it with a hot guy.""Archer isn't hot anymore," I'd fired back. "He tried to kill me, and his girlfriend is Satan."But I have to admit that as we stood beside each other on the cellar steps and listened to the Vandy ramble on about what we were supposed to do down there, I couldn't help but sneak sideways glances at him and notice that, homicidal tendencies and evil girlfriends aside, he was still hot. As usual,his tie was loose and his shirt-sleeves were rolled up. He was watching the Vandy with this bored, vaguely amused look, arms crossed over his chest.That pose did most excellent things for his chest and arms.How unfair was it that Elodie of all people got that as a boyfriend? I mean, where is the justice when-""Miss Mercer!" the Vandy barked, and I jumped high enough to nearly lose my balance.I clutched the banister next to me, and Archer caught my other elbow.Then he winked, and I immediately turned my attention back to the Vandy like she was the most fascinating person I'd ever seen."Do you need me to repeat anything, Miss Mercer?" she sneered."N-no. I got it," I stammered.She stared at me for a minute. I think she was trying to come up with a witty put-down.But the Vandy,like most mean people, was dumb, so in the end, she just sort of growled and pushed between me and Archer to stalk up the stairs."One hour!" she called over her shoulder.The ancient door didn't so much as creak as scream in pain as she pushed it closed.”

“My thoughts turned back to my parents and their apparent penchant for being big ol' liars.”