Sherrilyn Kenyon

“Return with your shield, or upon it.’ (Julian's stepmother)”

“She couldn’t very well let him join her in bed like that.Sure you could.No I can’t.Please?Hush, self, let me think.’ (Grace)”

“I do have some leftover chicken and pasta. (Grace)And wine?...That’s acceptable (Julian)Look, buster, I’m not your cooking wench. Mess with me and I’ll feed you Alpo. (Grace)”

“(The tree bend over. Suddenly, a hiss and a meow sounded an instant before two cats darted off across the backyard.)Look, Lanie, it’s Mr. Tomcat come to save me from my celibacy. Oh, help me, Moon Mistress. Whatever am I to do with the attentions of such an unwanted suitor! Help me quick, before he kills me with my allergies. (Grace)”

“Stop it. This is serious! (Selena)Serious? Please. I’m standing out here on my twenty-ninth birthday, barefoot and in jeans my mother would burn, holding a stupid book to my chest in an effort to summon a Greek love-slave from the great beyond. (Grace)”

“Fine, but I’m not ripping the head off a voodoo chicken or drinking anything disgusting. (Grace)”

“If I said I wouldn’t toss him out of my bed for eating crackers, would you leave me alone? (Grace)Maybe. What else wouldn’t you toss him out of bed for? (Selena)Eating greasy grimy gopher guts? (Grace)”

“No! I don’t want to Ouija, or do the pendulum thing, and I swear if I see one tarot card or rune stone I’ll yack cupcake all over you. (Grace)”

“Far be it from me to ever let my common sense get in the way of my stupidity. I say we press on.”

“Yeah, well, to hear you talk, most men should come with warning labels. (She lifted her hands up to frame her next statement.) Attention, please, Psycho Alert. Me, he-man, am prone to nasty mood swings, lengthy pouts, and possess the ability to tell a woman the truth about her weight without warning. (Selena)”

“Four years with no sex? Don’t tell me that you’ve forgotten this is the Age of Electronics? I mean, really, do any of your patients know how long you’ve gone without sex? (Selena)Keep your voice down. I don’t think it’s the business of my patients whether or not I’m a born-again virgin. And as for the Age of Electronics, I really don’t want to get personal with something that comes with a warning label and batteries. (Grace)”

“I’m not ogling him for myself. I’m ogling him for you. It was, after all, your sex life we were discussing. (Selena)Well, my sex life is just hunky-dory, and not the business of the people in this restaurant. (Grace)”

“Or more precisely, is there anything I can do for you, ma’am? (Waiter)‘How about a bag for my head, or a stick to beat Lanie with?’ (Grace)”

“Honey, you need to get laid. (Selena)Why don’t you speak a little louder, Lanie? I don’t think the guys in Canada were able to hear you. (Grace)Oh, I don’t know. They’re probably headed south even as we speak. (Waiter)”

“It's noon, Valerius. We both should be asleep?" Acheron paused. "Where are you anyways?""I don't know," Valerius said. "I hear some godawful kind of music from outside, horns blaring, and I'm in a house with a mohawk cuckoo bird, a transvestite, and a knife-wielding lunatic.""Why are you at Tabitha's?" Acheron asked."Excuse me?""Relax," Acheron said with a yawn. "You're in good hands. Tabby won't hurt you.""She stabbed me!""Damn," Ash said. "I told her not to stab any more Hunters. I hate it when she does that.”

“Xypher--Move forward with purpose”

“You’re such a crybaby. (Tee)Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe)You shouldn’t have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee)Yeah, everything’s my fault. (Joe)Good, then we agree. (Tee)”

“We don’t want civilians walking around who know about us. Got it? (Tee)Wow, you’re like a ferocious bunny, aren’t you? (Nathan)Worse. A bunny can be fluffy sometimes. Tee always goes for the throat. Trust me. I’m her partner and she’s shot me three times now. (Joe)”

“Patience is a virtue. (Tee)Excuse me, pot, could you not pick on the kettle? (Joe)”

“You got any experience? (Carlos)I’m former army intelligence, Special Forces, on contract to the U.S. government now for national security. That good enough for you, amigo? (Stoner)It’ll do. (Carlos)”

“(Stoner lowered the gun to Carlos’s crotch.)Should we continue splitting hairs? (Stoner)”

“(Stoner stepped into view and put the barrel of his 9 mm H&K against the man’s forehead.)Drop it. They can patch a knife would, but I doubt we’ll find all the pieces to put your brain back together. (Stoner)”

“I was in the army, Terri. Special Ops, sent into the most godforsaken places you can imagine, where I did unspeakable things. We weren’t exactly sent in to teach our enemies to knit. (Nathan)”

“Whoever was responsible for his death would pay and the devil in him would demand double the interest. (Nathan)”

“I have two words for you. (Terri)Oh, yeah? (Josie)Whatever- (Terri)That’s one word. (Josie)–bitch. (Terri)”

“Since we don’t have a body to confirm identity, we believe Nathan Drake is alive and threatening people, which means he faked his own death. (Josie)And maybe fat flying fairies ate the rest of your blouse, which explains why so much of it’s missing. (Terri)”

“Look, bud. I’m trained. Ticked off. And I have a loaded weapon. You should take particular note of the loaded weapon part when annoying me. (Terri)”

“I’m staying here tonight. I can bunk on the floor. (Nathan)What if I say no? (Terri)I’ll just break in after you go to sleep and still bunk on the floor. (Nathan)”

“I got a skanky dog with more brains than you and bigger balls. (Nathan)”

“What are you doing here? (Terri)I’ll tell you if you tell me why you’re here. (Nathan)No. Leave. (Terri)No. You leave. (Nathan)What are we? Four? (Terri)”

“The bane of Terri’s life could use a prescription of Prozac.’ (Terri)”

“What the hell are you doing here again? (Terri)I have a question. (Nathan)Tell you what. I’ll give you my cell phone number so you can just call me the next time you have one, and save you all the effort of breaking and entering. Free up a lot of your day. (Terri)”

“If he was still alive when this was all over, he might try to find a woman he could spend a night with. One who would understand that he wasn’t worth investing any serious energy in, someone who would expect nothing from an emotionally bankrupt man…Add fifty bucks and that would be a hooker, Einstein.’ (Nathan)”

“Keep your voice down. And before you go all badass cop on me, I’m the one who saved your life outside. (Nathan)How do I know that? (Terri)Let’s use some logic. You stuck your head in here. Someone tried to use it for target practice, but I yanked you away before you ended up headless. If I was the shooter, you’d be dead now and we wouldn’t be having this conversation. (Nathan)”

“Sorry, Carlos. What have you got? (Terri)Plenty of fine wine and silk sheets with a high threat count. (Carlos)”

“Oooohhh, I’m worried. You gonna kick my butt with your one good leg? (Josie)Good luck finding Drake’s body. At least he won’t have a problem getting hard for you. (Terri)”

“It might if you were male, hanging upside down naked and got nervous, then whizzed all over yourself. Gravity is not your friend at that point. (Josie)Eww. Save those tidbits for when you’re in the men’s room…updating your contact information. (Terri)”

“I’m not so naïve as to think your wanting to work together has anything to do with getting a fair shake and everything to do with how many rungs you can hike up the DEA ladder in that streetwalker skirt. (Terri)”

“If that’s all you came to talk about, you know where the exit is. Or should I reacquaint you with the street, butt first? (Terri)”

“Great, just great. The only thing to make him a worse asshole would be to kick a puppy.’ (Nathan)”

“Got a buddy in the NOPD who says there’s a rumor you’re with some private agency. Who? (Brady)And I slice open chickens at midnight to sacrifice to the great gods of Santeria. (Terri)”

“Damn, I need eye bleach.”

“Anyone in your family not a killer? (Syd)After this I’m beginning to wonder if I don’t have a serial mom. (Steele)I wish. She should have beaten you to death with a turkey leg. (Tina)”

“Still alive? (Randy)No. I’m a walking corpse. Can’t you tell? (Steele)”

“Interested in some ‘undercover’ work?And to think, I was actually having a tender thought about you. Do yourself a favor, Steele…Become mute.”

“Oh, my God, are you okay? (Syd)You ever nick yourself while shaving? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)You know the burn you get that hurts like hell? (Steele)Yeah. (Syd)This is nothing like that. It’s a lot worse. (Steele)”

“Not your fight, Jack. (Steele)That never stopped me before. Uncle Cam never cared if I had an issue with someone or not before they had me take their head off. (Jack)”

“Does this rationale make sense to you? (Syd)That’s Jack-Logic. It makes total sense. (Steele)”

“See, Cletus has this thing for cheese, but since he has no thumbs he has to have me give him his cheese on his food every night. If I die, no one else knows about Cletus and the cheese, and poor old Cletus would lose his mind. So I can’t die until he does. See how that works? (Jack)”

“Yeah, see, and that proves my point. What killed Housini? A stupid accident. But for one moment of stupidity, he’d have grown old with his Bess and been happy as a big in shit. Notice I ain’t young, and if I die, old Cletus would kick my ass for leaving him all alone down here. (Jack)”