Sophie Kinsella

“I'm lying. I don't just need someone like you. I need you.”

“But there's no point. He's busy with his life - and I'm busy with mine.”

“He said when you use your brain, no-one comes near you for ingenuity”

“I don't even feel so sure of that any more. I mean, if we were a couple, he'd be here, wouldn't he? He'd be here with me.”

“If you're single, then I'm single?" What's that supposed to be? Lyrics to a pop song?”

“Suddenly I've had enough of all this. I've had enough of being made to feel insecure and paranoid and wondering what's going on”

“And maybe now you'll start treating everybody with respect. Not just the people you think are important.”

“There's genuine pain in Eric's eyes. And I feel a stab of guilt. But you can't stay with people because of guilt.”

“You never know how things are going to turn out, however much you plan. But you already know that.”

“Every one is allowed to have a false start”

“What are they waiting to see?" Sam follows my gaze and I shrug. "Who knows? You could always do a dance, or tell a joke, or... kiss the bride?""Not the bride," he wraps his arms around me, and gradually pulls me close. Our noses are practically touching. I can see right into his eyes. I can feel the warmth of his skin. "you." Me. "The girl who stole my phone." His lips brush across the corner of my mouth. "The thief.""It was in a bin.""Still stealing.""No it isn't-," I begin. But now his mouth is firmly on mine, and I can't speak at all. And suddenly, life is good.”

“Every time I mention her, Magnus says, "Are you two getting along?" in raised, hopeful tones, like we're endangered pandas who need to make a baby.”

“... what would Poirot do? Poirot wouldn't flap around in a panic. He'd stay calm and use his little grey cells and recall some tiny, vital detail which would be the clue to everything.”

“This is me, remember?" retorts Suze. "I know what you're like! You used to throw all your bank statements into the trash and hope a complete stranger would pay off your bills!" This is what happens. You tell your friends your most personal secrets, and they use them against you.”

“You know what Hans told me last week?" she says as I open the door of my fitting room. "He told me to write down a list of everything I wanted to say about that women-and then tear it up. He said I'd feel a sense of freedom.""Oh right," I say interestedly. "So what happened?" "I wrote it all down," says Laurel. "And then I mailed it to her!”

“I bet he never goes on YouTube. He's too busy. It's only tragic cases like you and me who are always online.”

“All I can say is, she's the one I think about. All the time. She's the voice I want to hear. She's the face I hope to see. - Sam Roxton”

“Whoever it was, whether I knew them or not, if I could help in some way, I would. I mean, if you can help, you have to help. Don't you think? - Poppy Wyatt”

“Bex...why did you buy an inflatable canoe?''It's for you to lie on. Or something.''And a watering can?''I couldn't find a plant spray.'Breathlessly I start shoving bags into the taxi.'But why do I need a plant spray?''Look,it wasn't my idea, OK?' I say defensively.”

“OK.Now, I may be engaged, but I'm not going to get carried away.”

“Great. Just great. One glimpse of his body and I have a full-blown crush.I honestly thought I was a bit deeper than that.”

“That's the way it goes. Some things happen and some things don't. This one is obviously just wasn't meant to be. Except deep down... I still believe it was.”

“I’m blushing at my own stupid, nonsensical, meaningless thought process, which, by the way, nobody knows about except me.”

“Why on earth declutter when you can just shrinkwrap?”

“Oh fuck. I shouldn't have said that.”

“I'll show Luke I can fit into the city. I'll show him I can be a true New Yorker. I'll go the gym, and then I'll eat a bagel, and I'll ... shoot someone, maybe? Or maybe just the gym will be enough.”

“This is what's so annoying about going out with Luke. You can't get away with anything.”

“Just because of that one disastrous blind date she had last year, where the guy turned out to be fifty-nine, not thirty-nine (He claimed it was a typo. Yeah, I’m sure his finger just happened to slip two spaces to the left).”

“You love the bitch from hell? Well then, you must be nuts.”

“I now know exactly why they started the tradition of being apart the night before your wedding. It's nothing about romance, or sex, or being chaste, or whatever. It's so you don't have a row and stomp up the aisle seething at your bridegroom, planning all the home truths you're going to tell him as soon as you get this wedding bit out of the way.”

“Hi.""Hi." I shrug, as though to say "Whatever."In my peripheral vision I can see Magnus exhale. He looks a teeny bit nervous."So.""So." I can play this game too."Poppy.""Poppy. I mean, Magnus." I scowl. He caught me out.”

“Wow. So you didn't expect it?""No. Not at all.""Were you like, 'Fuck!”

“Mind your own Brazilian!" The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. Oops.OK. The trick when you've said something embarrassing by mistake is to pretend nothing happened.”

“I can't get over this. Dad isn't Sam's dad? Dad is a friend? How was I supposed to know that? People shouldn't be allowed to sign themselves as Dad unless they are your dad. It should be the law.”

“He so did not sit down and have a proper talk with her. I know it. He probably sent her a brief text, saying, Over. Sam.”

“And anyway," I continue, lifting my head nobly, "who-ever it was, whether I knew them or not, if I could help them in some way, I would. I mean, if you can help, you have to help. Don't you think?”

“Why didn't I buy a new phone earlier? Why don't I always walk around with a spare phone? It should be the law, like having a spare tire.”

“If I worked at White Globe Consulting, I wouldn't be able to do my job. I would spend all day texting the other people in the office, asking them what was going on today and had they heard anything new and what did they think was going to happen.Hmm. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not in an office job.”

“But sometimes you have to be brave. Sometimes you have to show people what's important in life.”

“Obviously this is engagement ring city. Couples are wandering along and girls are pointing through the windows and the men are smiling but all look slightly sick whenever their girlfriends turn away.”

“Once you've started cheating, does it really matter what your methods are?”

“I'm sitting at the dinner table, wearing my future mother-in-law's underwear. It's like some twisted dream that you wake up and think Crikey Moses! Thank God that didn't really happen!”

“It's his mother's birthday? But he didn't tell me. I don't have a card. I don't have a gift. How could he do this to me?Men are crap.”

“He told me it was love at first sight!" shoots back Annalise. "How do you explain that? He told me you were instantly attracted to each other and he wanted to ravish you right there on the couch. He said he'd never known anything so sexy as you in your uniform."I'm going to shoot Magnus. What did he have to say that for?”

“I have no idea what to say next. I don't speak Japanese, I don't know anything about Japanese business or Japanese culture. Apart from sushi. But I can't exactly go up to him and say "Sushi!" out of the blue. It would be like going up to a top American businessman and saying "T-bone steak!”

“Every instinct in me wants to text someone OMG, I've lost my phone! but how can I do that without a bloody phone?”

“Why did he have to choose tonight to turn into the perfect husband?”

“Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.”

“Love. This is a lorry, not a Ferrari.”

“Maybe my identity's been stolen. Or maybe I was sleep-shopping!”