Stephen Colbert
Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, satirist, actor, and writer known for his ironic style, particularly in his portrayal of uninformed opinion leaders and deadpan comedic delivery.
Colbert originally studied to be an actor, but became interested in improvisational theater when he met famed Second City director Del Close while attending Northwestern University. He first performed professionally as an understudy for Steve Carell at Second City Chicago; among his troupe mates were comedians Paul Dinello and Amy Sedaris, with whom he developed the critically-acclaimed sketch comedy series Exit 57.
Colbert also wrote and performed on the short-lived Dana Carvey Show before collaborating with Sedaris and Dinello again on the cult television series Strangers with Candy. He gained considerable attention for his role on the latter as closeted, gay history teacher Chuck Noblet. It was his work as a correspondent on Comedy Central's news-parody series The Daily Show, however, that first introduced him to a wide audience.
In 2005, he left The Daily Show to host a spin-off series, The Colbert Report. Following The Daily Show's news-parody concept, The Colbert Report styles itself as a parody of personality-driven political opinion shows such as Bill O'Reilly's The O'Reilly Factor. Since its debut, the series has been successful, establishing itself as one of Comedy Central's highest-rated series, earning Colbert three Emmy nominations and an invitation to perform as featured entertainer at the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner in 2006. Colbert was named one of Time's 100 most influential people in 2006. His book, I Am America And So Can You was No. 1 on The New York Times Bestseller List.
“They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.”
“It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.”
“I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory”
“The summer movies are coming out. My advice: just stay home and burn a good book.”
“Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!”
“(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.”
“If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.”
“Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.”
“Agnostics are just atheists without balls.”
“Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.”
“I teach Sunday school, motherf*****.”
“I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about the printed word. Well, I want you to know that this is the first book I've ever written, and I hope it's the first book you've ever read. Don't make a habit of it.”
“Like O'Rielly, we'll grab the most important word of each sentence... 'The' for example. Also, I'll say, 'I'm angry,' and the graphic will read, 'Colbert angry.”
“Tomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody's high!”
“The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear”
“If Germans are happy it means everyone else is miserable.”
“I am no fan of books.”
“Baby carrots are making me gay.”
“I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.”
“Equations are the devil's sentences.”