Susan Elizabeth Phillips

“Dallas, is it remotely possible for you to carry on a conversation that's not loaded down with manure?”

“Damn. It looks to me like I just missed the best reunion since Sherman got together with Atlanta.”

“When he overheard the boys whispering that he was a queer, he said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world’s great men had been homosexual. Alas, I’ve been sentenced to a life mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope that a few of you will be more fortunate.”

“He wanted to protect her andfuck her and comfort her and destroy her all at once. The chaos of his emotions coiled around his pain,deepening the agony.”

“For a moment he could have sworn he smelled violets, which was very peculiar, since he had no idea what violets smelled like, except somehow he knew they smelled just like Lady Emma.”

“sometimes knowing when to give up is the real test of character...-annabelle granger”

“I think this is the way love feels to people like you and me. Threatening and dangerous. We have to be in control, and love takes that away. People like us… We can't tolerate vulnerability. But despite our best efforts, sooner or later love seems to catch up with us. And then…And then we fall apart.”

“You're beautiful, every part of you. I love your hair, the way it looks, the way it feels. I love touching it, smelling it. I love the way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh. It makes me laugh, too, every time. And I love watching you eat. Sometimes you can't shovel it in fast enough, but when you get interested in a conversation, you forget there's anything in front of you. God knows, I love making love with you. I can't even talk about that without wanting you. I love your pathetic attachment to those seniors. I love how hard you work.”

“It runs in the family. And don't expect me to be ashamed. Yankees lock away loony relatives, but down here, we prop 'em up on parade floats and march 'em through the middle of town.”

“Never mind that. What's going on with you and Heath?"Annabelle pulled a little wide-eyed innocence out of her rusty bag of college acting skills."What do you mean? Business.""Don't give me that. We've been friends too long."She switched to a furrowed brow. "He's my most important client. You know how much this means to me."Molly wasn't buying it. "I've seen the way you look at him. Like he was a slot machine with triple sevens tattooed on his forehead. If you fall in love with him, I swear I'll never speak toyou again." Annabelle nearly choked. She'd known Molly would be suspicious, but she hadn't expected an outright confrontation. "Are you nuts? Setting aside the fact that he treats me like a flunky, I'd never fall for a workaholic after what I've had to go through with my family." Falling in lust, however, was an entirely different matter."He has a calculator for a heart," Molly said. "I thought you liked him.”

“There was something about a man with a shovel, and the sweat on his neck might as well have been chocolate sauce. It wasn't fair. Brains and brawns should be two separate categories, not bundled into one irresistible package. She needed to pull herself together before she went after him with a spoon. But where to start?”

“Disagreements over money are the biggest cause of divorce."She waved her hand. "Absolutely no problem. Your money is our money. My money is my money." She wrote away."I should make you negotiate with Phoebe.”

“When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?""We like it here," Jason said. "It reminds us of home.""Plus, no women around." Leandro Collins, the Bears' first-string tight end emerged from the office munching on a bag of chips. "There's times when you need a rest from the ladies."Annabelle shot out her arm and smacked him in the side of the head. "Don't forget who you're talking to."Leandro had a short fuse, and he'd been known to take out a ref here and there when he didn't like a call, but the tight end merely rubbed the side of his head and grimaced. "Just like my mama.""Mine, too," Tremaine said with happy nod.Annabelle spun on Heath. "Their mother! I'm thirty-one years old, and I remind them of their mothers.""You act like my mother," Sean pointed out, unwisely as it transpired, because he got a swat in the head next.”

“They've drunk everything in the house, including a pitcher of African violet plant food I'd just mixed up and was stupid enough to leave on the counter."Tremaine punched Eddie in the shoulder. "I told you it tasted weird."Eddie shrugged. "Tasted okay to me.”

“He set the suitcases in the back then tossed her the keys. "You drive."She repressed a smile as she climbed behind the wheel. "With each passing day, your reasons for wanting a wife become clearer.”

“He grinned, and right then it occurred to him that he hadn't enjoyed himself so much with a woman in a very long time. If Annabelle Granger were a few inches taller, a hell of a lot more sophisticated, better organized, less bossy, and more inclined to worship at his feet, she'd have made a perfect wife.”

“I paid you five thousand instead and promised the balance only if you made the match. As it turns out, this is your lucky day because I've decided to write you the full check, whether the match comes from you or from Portia. As long as I have a wife and you've been part of the process, you'll get your money." He toasted her with his beer mug. "Congratulations."She put down her fork. "Why would you do that?""Because it's efficient.""Not as efficient as having Powers handle her own introductions. You're paying her a fortune to do exactly that.""I'd rather have you."Her pulse kicked. "Why?"He gave her the melty smile he must have been practicing since the cradle, one that made her feel as though she was the only woman in the world. "Because you're easier to bully. Do we have a deal or not?""You don't want a matchmaker. You want a lackey.""Semantics. My hours are erratic, and my schedule changes without warning. It'll be your job to cope with all that. You'll soothe ruffled feathers when I need to cancel at the last minute. You'll keep my dates company when I'm going to be late, entertain them if I have to take a call. If things are going well, you'll disappear. If not, you'll make the woman disappear. I told you before. I work hard at my job. I don't want to have to work hard at this, too.""Basically, you expect me to find your bride, court her, and hand her over at the altar. Or do I have to come on the honeymoon, too?""Definitely not." He gave her a lazy smile. "I can take care of that all by myself.”

“You'll need to do a better job, Annabelle. No more dates like the first one tonight.""Agreed. And no more making me sit through your Power Matches introductions, either. As you so wisely pointed out, helping Portia Powers isn't in my best interests.""Then why are you still trying to talk me into seeing Melanie again?""Hunger makes me weird.""You got rid of the last one in fourteen minutes. Well done. I'm rewarding you by letting you sit in on all the introductions from now on."She nearly choked on an ice cube. "What are you talking about?""Exactly what I said.”

“Maybe I should let my faithful manservant answer the rest of your questions, since he seems to have all the answers.""I'm saving her time," Bodie replied. "She brings you a redhead, you'll give her grief. Look for women with class, Annabelle. That's most important. The sophisticated types who went to boarding schools and speak French. She has to be the real thing because he can spot a phony a mile away. And he likes them athletic.""Of course he does," she said dryly. "Athletic, domestic, gorgeous, brilliant, socially connected, and pathologically submissive. It'll be a snap.""You forgot hot." Heath smiled. "And defeatist thinking is for losers. If you want to be a success in this world, Annabelle, you need a positive attitude. Whatever the client wants, you get it for him. First rule of a successful business.""Uh-huh. What about career women?""I don't see how that would work.""The kind of potential mate you're describing isn't going to be sitting around waiting for her prince to show up. She's heading a major corporation. In between those Victoria's Secret modeling gigs."He lifted an eyebrow. "Attitude, Annabelle. Attitude.”

“Did anybody tell you that you're a few french fries short of a Happy Meal?”

“...Any fool can love somebody who's perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesn't stretch your soul. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love somebody after they've hurt you.”

“You shouldn't dare a person who doesn't have anything left to lose.”

“You're not having sex with him. I know these guys, and you don't. I'm trusting you with Claudia Reeshman. You need to trust me about Dean Robillard." She wouldn't let him off that easily. "You're looking for a wife. Maybe I'm just looking for a little fun." "If you need fun," he shot back, 'I'll give you fun." She was stunned.”

“Do you really expect me to fall apart every time another woman throws herself at you? Because, if that's so, I'll be a nervous wreck before the honeymoon's over. Although, if they do it in front of me..."He went still. "Did you just propose to me?"She bristled. "Do you have a problem with that?"The scoreboard lit up, and he gave the world a high five. "God, I love you.”

“So, Beav, tell me about yourself.""I'm Blue.""Sweetheart, if I had your dubious taste in men, I wouldn't be too happy, either.""My name is Blue. Blue Bailey.”

“Life sure is easier when you're rich.""And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part.""How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only thing we have in common.”

“Why don't I just hand you my panties and be done with it.”

“Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here”

“Don't mess with me, Calvin. You'll only get hurt.”

“I married a damned cereal killer”

“She gave Pretty Boy a surreptitious glance. Did he honestly expect her to believe he was gay? True, there were the gay boots and those stunning good looks. But, even so, he blasted enough heterosexual mega-wattage to light up the entire female population. Which he’d undoubtedly been doing since he shot out of the birth canal, glimpsed his reflection in the obstetrician’s eyeglasses, and gave the world a high five.”

“The door closed behind her (Phoebe), and the two men regarded each other for a moment. Viktor spoke first. "I must have your promise, Coach, that you won't hurt her." Dan: "I won't." Viktor: "You spoke a little too quickly for my taste. I don't quite believe you." Dan: "I'm a man of my word, and I promise I won't hurt her." He flexed his hands. "When I murder her, I'll do it real quick so she won't feel a thing." Viktor sighed. "That's exactly what I was afraid of.”

“Before you go anywhere, Mr. Football Player,” Nita said, “I want to know exactly what your intentions are toward my Blue.”

“Don't dare a person who has nothing else left to lose.”

“I take thee... to be my awful wedded husband”

“Give me those keys.”“I will not!”“You win, Professor. I’ll buy you a car. Now give me the damn keys.”“I have a car.”“A real car. A Mercedes, a BMW, whatever you want.”“I don’t want a Mercedes or a BMW.”“That’s what you think.”“Stop bullying me.”“I haven’t even started.”

“You know that we've got a few problems we need to talk through before we get married.""I'm not getting rid of Pooh.""See, there you go being antagonistic. Marriage means learning to compromise.""I didn't say I wouldn't compromise. I promise to take the ribbon out of her topknot before you walk her.”

“You never get mad,” she said when their server left the table. “Except at me.”“That’s not true,” he said tightly. “Torie can get me going.”“Torie doesn’t count. You were obviously her mother in a previous life.”

“I love you, Meg. I want tomarry you. I want to sleep with you every night, make love with you, have kids. I want to fight together andwork together and—just be together. Now are you going to keep standing there, staring at me, or couldyou put me out of my misery and say you still love me, at least a little?”

“Colin : “Perhaps now is the time to tell you that I have a weakness for agreeable women.”Sugar Beth : “Well, that sure does leave me out.”Colin : “Exactly. With agreeable women, I’m unendingly considerate. Gallant even.”Sugar Beth : “But with tarts like me, the gloves are off, is that it?”Colin : “I wouldn’t exactly call you a tart. But then, I tend to be broad-minded.”She suppressed the urge to dump her porridge in his lap.”

“[Colin to Sugar Beth] I put my heart on every page.”

“Anything worth having is worth fighting for.”

“I must have your promise, Coach, that you won't hurt her.""I promise.""You spoke a bit too quickly for my taste. I don't quite believe you.""I'm a man of my word, and I promise that I won't hurt her.When I murder her, I'll do it real quick, so she won't feel a thing."Viktor sighed. "That's exactly what I was afraid of.”

“[Kevin and Molly's adorable banter]"I'm not carrying anything until I see what's on your panties.""It's Daphne, okay?""I'm supposed to believe you're wearing the same underpants you had on yesterday?""I have more than one pair""I think you're lying. I want to see for myself." He dragged her deeper into the pines. While Roo circled them barking, he reached for the snap on her shorts. "Quiet, Godzilla! There's some serious business going on here."Roo obediently quieted.She grabbed his wrists and pushed. "Get away.""That's not what you were saying last night.""Somebody'll see.""I'll tell them a bee got you, and I'm taking out the stinger.""Don't touch my stinger!" She grabbed for her shorts, but they were already heading for her knees. "Stop that!"He peered down at her panties. "It's the badger. You lied to me.""I wasn't paying attention when I got dressed.""Hold still. I've just about found that stinger."She heard herself sigh."Oh, yeah..." His body moved against hers. "There it is.”

“I thought you didn’t like animals.” “I love animals. Where did you get that idea?” Marmie put her paws on his leg, and he picked her up. “From my dog?” “That’s a dog? Jeez, I’m sorry. I thought it was an industrial-waste accident.” His long, lean fingers slid through the cat’s fur. “Slytherin.” She slapped the lid back onto the flour container. What kind of man liked a cat more than he liked an exceptionally fine French poodle? “What did you call me?” “It’s a literary reference. You wouldn’t understand.” “Harry Potter. And I don’t appreciate name calling.”

“I finally figured out that not every crisis can be managed. As much as we want to keep ourselves safe, we can't protect ourselves from everything. If we want to embrace life, we also have to embrace chaos.”

“I can’t chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you’re a lot better-looking.”

“Cut the crap and tell me what color panties you’re wearing.”

“I guess we're oil and water. (Phoebe)I'd say we're more like gasoline and a blowtorch. (Dan)”

“She threw up her hands. "All right. Why not?" Why not?" Sure." His arms fell to his sides. "That's it? I pour my heart out. I love you so much I've got freakin' tears in my eyes. And all I get in return is 'Why not'?" What did you expect? Am I supposed to fall all over you just because you've finally come to your senses?" Would it be too much to ask?"...He'd begun to glare at her again, his eyes growing stormier by the minute."When do you think you might be ready? To fall all over me, that is.”