Susan Elizabeth Phillips

“Love, I've discovered is a transient emotion best satisfied by a good fuck.”

“I want your best offer. [...] - You already have it.She bit her lip, nodded.- That's what I thought.And then she walked away.”

“Take it off first, soldier." He looked at her suspiciously. "Take what off?" "Your clothes. Entertain the troops." "My clothes?" He frowned. "I was sort of thinking you might want to do that for me." She shook her head and leaned back on one elbow, giving him her witchiest, bitchiest smile. "Strip." "Now, listen here, Francie--" Lifting a languid hand, she once again pointed toward the center of the room. "Do it real slow, good-looking," she purred. "I want to enjoy every minute.”

“Something snapped inside her. “Of course I’m afraid! Relationships do bad things to me.” He started to respond, but the pain had gone on long enough, and she didn’t want to hear it. “You know what I want? I want peace. I want a good job and a decent place to live. I want to read books and listen to music and have time to make some female friendships that are going to last. When I wake up in the morning, I want to know that I have a decent shot at being happy. And here’s what’s really sad. Until I met you, I was almost there.”

“What New York City football team did Joe Namath play for?""The New York City Yankees!"A roar of laughter went up from the crowd, accompanied by more than a few loud groans. Bobby Tom silenced them all with a glare. At the same time, the glitter in his eyes dared any of them to contradict her.When he was certain every person there understood his message, he turned back to Gracie and gathered her into his arms. With a tender look and a gentle brush of his lips, he said, "Exactly right, sweetheart. I had no idea you knew so much about football."And that was how every last person in Telarosa, Texas, came to understand that Bobby Tom Denton had finally and forever fallen head over heels in love.”

“There was something missing inside me I was trying to fill up, but I went about doing it the wrong way. But there sure isn't anything missing inside me now, because you're there.”

“If you think I'm going to cry all over your chest because you don't feel the same way, you're wrong. I don't beg for anybody's love.”

“Losing isn't as bad as not fighting at all.”

“Sugar Beth detected the movement and shot him a look that challenged not only his manhood but also his very right to exist on the planet.”

“Nobody else can demean me. I can only demean myself”

“If you have so little respect for me, why are you still around?"He slipped a gentle hand into her hair and pushed a curlbehind her ear. "Because I'm a sucker for beautiful,wounded creatures.”

“The first week of school they spotted him using a tortoise-shell cigarette holder. When he'd overheard some of the boys whispering that he looked like a queer he'd gazed down his long nose at them and said he regarded that as a compliment since so many of the world's great men had been homosexual. Alas I've been sentenced to a life of mundane heterosexuality. I can only hope a few of you will be more fortunate.”

“A couple of nights ago I had an erotic dream about Edward Norton.”

“What the hell did magic wands have to do with helping girls learn math and science? He'd been good at both. He could have helped them with math and science. Weren't these girls supposed to be building skills? Screw magic wands. He'd have handed out some fucking calculators.”

“Are you saying...I was your icebreaker?"Those honey-colored eyes darkened with concern. "Tell me that's okay with you. I know your emotions weren't involved, but still, nobody likes to think they've been taken advantage of."He unclenched his teeth. "And that's what you did? You took advantage of me?""I wasn't, you know, picturing him in my mind last night when I was with you or anything. Well, maybe for a couple of seconds, but that's all, I swear.”

“If another woman had been around, this would never have happened.""Whatever you're trying to say, just spit it out.""Come on, Heath. I'm not blond, leggy, or stacked. I was the default setting. Even my fiance never said I was sexy.""Your ex-fiance wears lipstick, so I wouldn't take that to heart. I promise, Annabelle, you're very sexy. That hair...""Do not start in on my hair. I was born with it, okay. It's like making fun of someone with a birth defect.”

“You’re the most important thing in the world to me. I know you don’t believe it, but I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Just because you’re rivals doesn’t mean you have to be enemies.”

“...I have to tell you that I'm not all that comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of my life sleeping next to somebody who's got the power to fire me if my underwear doesn't make it all the way to the hamper." She repressed a smile. "I'm sympathetic to your problem, but I'm not selling the team just so you can be a slob." "Somehow I didn't expect you would.”

“There’s no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart”

“Everybody’s afraid of something.”

“Get inside before I spank you in public." There it was again, another of his maddening threats. Did that mean he wouldn't spank her if she did as he said or that he simply planned to spank her in private? She was still mulling over the whole unpleasant concept when he started the truck.”

“I don't care how much evidence the state presented. I've never for one moment believed he murdered that waitress.”

“In case you still haven't figured it out, he loves you. Your tiger will be back in the morning, and you can thank me anytime. Now, do I have to paint another picture for you, or do you think you can take it from here by yourself without screwing up?”

“As they began to mount the stairs, he looked up at his mother. "Just how many of those wine coolers did she drink?" "She had three," Suzy replied. Three! Bobby Tom couldn't believe it. After only three drinks, she'd stripped off her clothes and demanded that he have sex with her. "Mom?" He shoved on his hat. "Yes dear." "Whatever you do, don't let her anywhere near a six-pack.”

“For all your talk, you don't know the first thing about love." Tears spilled over her lashes and rolled down her cheeks. She slipped the chain that held his Super Bowl ring over her head and pressed it into his palm. "I love you, Bobby Tom, and I'll love you till the day I die. But I've never been for sale. I was a free offering all along.”

“All right, sweetheart; here's your last question, and it's a real challenge, so don't let yourself get distracted by these jealous women. To make sure all twelve of our future children are going to be legitimate, what New York City football team did Joe Namath play for?"Gracie's face fell. Lord. Any fool should know the answer to this one. New York City... What football team was from New York City? Her expression brightened. "The New York City YANKEES!" A roar of laughter went up from the crowd, accompanied by more than a few loud groans. Bobby Tom silenced them all with a glare. At the same time, the glitter in his eyes dared any of them to contradict her. When he was certain everyone understood the message, he turned back to Gracie and gathered her into his arms. With a tender look and a gentle brush of his lips, he said "Exactly right, sweetheart. I had no idea you knew so much about football" And that was how every last person in Telarosa, Texas, came to understand that Bobby Tom Denton had finally and forever fallen head over heels in love.”

“Honey lamb, there are a lot of things in this world I feel insecure about. Religion. Our national economic policies. What color socks to wear with a blue suit. But I've got to tell you that my performance in that hotel room last night isn't one of them.”

“And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked." "He's a minister!" "It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?" "You're making a joke out of this." "Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would think something this traumatic was funny. Tell you what. I'll go downstairs right this minute and kill him before he gets away.”

“And put me down right this minute or I'll scream bloody murder, then do the job for real!" "I already hid all the electrical appliances, and I'm not taking a shower without locking you in the closet first.”

“I knew it! I knew you'd hate my body!" She slammed her hands on her hips, marched over to the bed, and glared down at him. "Well, for your information, mister, all those cute little sex kittens in your past might have had perfect bodies, but they don't know a lepton from a proton,and if you think that I'm going to stand here and let you judge me by the size of my hips and because my belly's not flat, then you're in for a rude awakening." She jabbed her finger at him. "This is the way a grown woman looks, buster! This body was designed by God to be functional, not to be stared at by some hormonally imbalanced jock who can only get aroused by women who still own Barbie dolls" "Damn. Now I've got to gag you." With one swift motion, he pulled her down on the bed, rolled on top of her, and covered her lips with his own.”

“Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't rightly see how somebody who claims to have had -What'd you say? One partner?-can be welled trained."He had a point. Her brain clicked away. "I was referring to the instructional videotapes my agency has all its new employees watch.""They train you by watching videos?" His eyes narrowed reminding her of a hunter looking down a gun sight,"Now, ain't that interesting."She felt a little surge of pleasure as her child lost another few points on the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. Even a computer couldn't have picked a more perfect match.”

“She glared at him. "You're doing it again.""What?""That thing that irritates me.""Smiling?""Yes. That.”

“There's nothing sexier in a man than intelligence.”

“Ironic, isn't it, what religion does to people?""I guess it's more ironic what people do to religion.”

“Something brushed his leg, and he gazed down into the face of Pippi Tucker. The theme from Jaws raced through his head.”

“The question is… How did a girl like Annabelle manage to talk a man like you into joining our silly little family party?” Annabelle smiled sweetly. “I promised he could tie me up afterward and spank me.”

“We’re only human.” “One of us, anyway. The other’s a reptile.” “Harsh, Annabelle. Very harsh.”

“He smiled. “You are one beautiful bitch.” “Thank you.”

“Annabelle gazed wistfully toward the doorway. “If I could put my brain in her body, the world would be mine for the taking.”

“This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.”“Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts.”

“There you are," he said when she bobbed up. "I was getting worried." "What are you doing?""Waiting till you're ready to drown." He smiled and eased back down on the seat. "And then I'm going to save your life. Dan did it for Phoebe and I'm going to do it for you.""Dan didn't try to murder her first!" she screamed. "I go the extra mile.”

“Isn't there a mirror someplace where you can go admire yourself?" "I never knew a woman so hung up on my good looks." "All your women are hung up on your good looks. They just pretend it's your personality.”

“You can't do extraordinary things in the world if you're spending time criticizing others because they don't look or behave the way you think they should.”

“She was all the dreams he'd lost at dawn-- dreams of everything he hadn't understood he needed until now. She was his playmate, his confidante, the lover who made his blood rush. She was the mother of his children and the companion of his old age. She was the joy of his heart.”

“Before you lost your mind, how did you make a living?" "I was a hitman for the Mafia. Are you done crying yet?" "I wasn't crying! And I wish you were a hitman because, if I had money, I'd hire you right this minute to knock yourself off.”

“He sounds like Jesus. Except rich and sexy.” “Watch it, Meg. In this town joking about Jesus could get you shot. You’ve never seen so many of the faithful who’re armed.”

“‎"There’s no such thing as mistakes – only a lack of foresight.”

“If you want me, you'll have to earn me. And, mister, I don't come cheap.”

“As far as I'm concerned, men like you were put on this world to entertain women like me.”