Terry Pratchett

“My strčíme všechny naše politiky, hned poté co jsou zvoleni, do kriminálu. Vy ne?""Proč?" "Ušetří to spoustu času.”

“Existuje jistý druh vedoucích, kteří jsou známí svým "Moje dveře jsou vždycky otevřené" a bylo by pravděpodobně lepší utlouci se vlastním životopisem než pro ně pracovat.”

“Or -- and this she knew was a far more accurate way of looking at it -- the book was true and reality was lying.”

“TO CHANGE THE FATE OF ONE INDIVIDUAL IS TO CHANGE THE WORLD.”

“I MAY HAVE ALLOWED MYSELF SOME FLICKER OF EMOTION IN THE RECENT PAST, said Death, BUT I CAN GIVE IT UP ANY TIME I LIKE.”

“That is because you don't yet know how to deal with time," said Wen. "But I will teach you to deal with time as you would deal with a coat, to be worn when necessary and discarded when not.""Will I have to wash it?" said Clodpool.Wen gave him a long, slow look."That was either a very complex piece of thinking on your part, Clodpool, or you were just trying to overextend a metaphor in a rather stupid way. Which, do you think, it was?"Clodpool looked at his feet. Then he looked at the sky. Then he looked at Wen."I think I am stupid, master.""Good," said Wen. "It is fortuitous that you are my apprentice at this time, because if I can teach you, Clodpool, I can teach anyone.”

“Personal isn't the same as important.”

“It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness.”

“The footprints go this way," said Cuddy, "and then they return. But the ones coming back aren't so deep as the ones going. You can see they're later ones because they're over the top of the other ones. So he was heavier than he was coming back, yes?""Right," said Detritus. "So that means...?""He lose weight?”

“Man just went past with a cat on his head,”

“Big fat hairy monkey, hands a couple of octaves wide?”

“He couldn't remember having been seventeen; it was something that must have happened to him while he was busy. But it made him feel like he imagined it felt like when you were seventeen, which was like having a permanent red-hot vest on under your skin.”

“But this didn't feel like magic. It felt a lot older than that. It felt like music.”

“That's sarcasm! You can't talk to me like that! You're just a servant!""That's right. And so are you.”

“Decided to put aside ethnic differences in the cause of making more money.”

“Be careful what you wish for. You never know who will be listening.”

“It was raining in the small, mountainous country of Llamedos. It was always raining in Llamedos. Rain was the country's main export. It had rain mines.”

“I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.”

“As far as he could see, the drawings were simply alive. They might be colored earth on rock, but they were as alive as the kangaroo that'd just hopped away.”

“To be frank, I find religion rather offensive.”

“To tell you the truth, I'm something of an atheist.”

“Now look," snapped the Dean, "we've searched everywhere for a decent library on this island. There simply isn't one! It's ridiculous. How is anyone supposed to get anything done?”

“I'm quite sure primitive people have no difficulties surviving in a place like this, and think of all the things we have that our rude forefathers lacked.”

“The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second, defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and the cab behind you honking.”

“She was, in fact, quite a pleasant looking girl, even if her bosom had clearly been intended for a girl two feet taller; but she was not Her. The Egregious Professor of Grammar and Usage would have corrected this to "she was not she," which would have caused the Professor of Logic to spit out his drink.”

“Když jste bohem, spočívá váš problém v tom, že se nemáte ke komu modlit.”

“Jeden ze zakladnich zakonu stesti: Vzdycky se mej na pozoru pred jakymkoliv uzitecnym zarizenim, ktere vazi min nez jeho manual.”

“Don't be ridiculous, man," said Ridcully, "there's no such thing as dwarf smuggling.""Yeah? Then what's that you've got there?""I'm a giant," said Casanunda."Giants are a lot bigger.""I've been ill.”

“Few things are hidden from a quiet child with good eyesight.”

“Creators aren't gods. They make places, which is quite hard. It's men that make gods. This explains a lot.”

“But we're a university! We have to have a library!" said Ridcully. "It adds tone. What sort of people would we be if we didn't go into the library?""Students," said Senior Wrangler morosely.”

“Other people say: hold on, if he's carrying the entire universe in a sack, right, that means he's carrying himself and the sack inside the sack, because the universe contains everything. Including him. And the sack, of course. Which contains him and the sack already. As it were.To which the reply is: well?”

“One minute walking along, the next minute dead. Why?"THINK OF IT BEING MORE... DIMENSIONALLY DISADVANTAGED."Yes. I know." Beano relaxed, and stopped wondering too much about events in an increasingly irrelevant world. Death found that people often did, after the initial confusion. After all, the worst had already happened. At least... with any luck.”

“Assassins did have a certain code, after all. It was dishonorable to kill someone if you weren't being paid.”

“I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find out what they are good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it is too late. There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will turn out to be a past worth having....Learning is about finding out who you are, what you are, where you are and what you are standing on and what you are good at and what's over the horizon and, well, everything. Its about finding the place where you fit. I found the place where I fit, and I would like everybody else to find theirs." - Tiffany Aching”

“W teorii trwała teraz wokół niej lekcja literatury. Susan nie znosiła literatury. Wolała poczytać dobrą książkę.”

“Being Ymor's right-hand man was like being gently flogged to death with scented bootlaces.”

“Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist.”

“She was not, herself, hugely in favor of motherhood in general. Obviously it was necessary, but it wasn't exactly difficult. Even cats managed it. But women acted as if they'd been given a medal that entitled them to boss people around. It was as if, just because they'd got the label which said "mother", everyone else got a tiny part of the label that said "child"...”

“It's hard to explain," said Brutha. "But I think it's got something to do with how people should behave... you should do things because they're right. Not because gods say so. They might say something different another time.”

“I know that I am a small, weak man, but I have amassed a large library; I dream of dangerous places.”

“I nearly committed a terrible sin," said Brutha. "I nearly ate fruit on a fruitless day.""That's a terrible thing, a terrible thing," said Om. "Now cut the melon.”

“[Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.”

“There are millions of chords. There are millions of numbers. And everyone forgets the one that is a zero. But without the zero, numbers are just arithmetic. Without the empty chord, music is just noise.”

“Hay lugares en que varios tiempos están ocurriendo a la vez y lugares en que apenas queda tiempo, y tiempos en que apenas hay lugar.”

“Normalmente los magos definían 'escuchar' como un período durante el que decidías lo que dirías a continuación. Era desconcertante.”

“Me parece que no lo entiendes. Las vidas de las personas pasan por delante de sus ojos antes de que mueran, y el proceso se llama 'vivir'. ¿Te apetece un camarón?”

“Los historiadores han observado que es en las épocas de abundancia cuando se siente el deseo de ir a la guerra. En tiempos de hambruna, la gente está demasiado ocupada intentando encontrar algo que comer. Cuando sólo tienen lo justo para ir tirando, las personas tienden a ser afables y educadas. Pero cuando se les sirve un banquete, enseguida deciden que ha llegado el momento de discutir quién se sienta dónde.”

“Some of the men and older boys were trained in firing the cannon, but since there wasn’t any gun powder to spare for actually firing any more of the things, they made do with pushing wooden cartridges into the barrel and shouting, “Bang!” They got quite good at that, and were proud at the speed with which “Bang!” could be shouted. Daphne said she hoped the enemy would be trained to say “Aargh!”

“Not craftsmen, my lord" he said. "I have no use for people who have learned the limits of the possible”