Witty quotes have a unique way of sparking inspiration while bringing a smile to your face. Whether you’re looking for clever insights to brighten your day or thought-provoking words that motivate you to keep going, this carefully curated collection of the top 147 witty quotes is sure to provide a fresh perspective. Dive in and let these sharp and insightful sayings inspire your next great idea or simply add a touch of humor to your routine.
1. “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.” - Sid Ziff
2. “Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.” - Oscar Wilde
3. “The covers of this book are too far apart.” - Ambrose Bierce
4. “Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.” - Mark Twain
5. “Cheap editions of great books may be delightful, but cheap editions of great men are absolutely detestable” - Oscar Wilde
6. “If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.” - Thomas Pynchon
7. “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” - William Shakespeare
8. “The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.” - Stéphane Mallarme
9. “He drew a circle that shut me out-Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle and took him In!” - Edwin Markham
10. “Brevity is the soul of wit.” - William Shakespeare
11. “There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.” - Joss Whedon
12. “Writing a book is like sliding down a rainbow! Marketing it is like trudging through a field of chewed bubblegum on a hot, sticky day.” - Betty Dravis
13. “I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter."(Letter 16, 1657)” - Blaise Pascal
14. “I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.” - G.K. Chesterton
15. “There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous andshallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what youknow ain't so'.” - Mark Twain
16. “To have a viable civilization, people have to have a benign government, a semblance of education, spare time, imagination, and manners” - Jonathan Chamberlain Williams
17. “Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say:Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.” - Chip Kidd
18. “A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.” - P.G. Wodehouse
19. “There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.""And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.""And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.” - Jane Austen
20. “There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]” - Dorothy Parker
21. “You sounded like Dolly parton on helium."(After kristy lee cook of season 7 on american idol,sang her country rendition of the Beatles'"Eight Days A Week.)” - Simon Cowell
22. “True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'dWhat oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,That gives us back the image of our mind.As shades more sweetly recommend the light,So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.” - Alexander Pope
23. “A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.” - Mark Twain
24. “In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.” - Graydon Carter
25. “I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.” - Mel Brooks
26. “I've been so thoroughly incorporated into the California culture that I practice meditation and go to a therapist, even though I always set a trap: during my meditation I invent stories to keep from being bored, and in therapy I invent stories to keep from boring the psychologist.” - Isabel Allende
27. “Don't let the muggles get you down.” - J.K. Rowling
28. “Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones.” - Ray Bradbury
29. “If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian.” - Mark Twain
30. “One of the strongest natural proofs of the folly of hereditary right in kings, is, that nature disapproves it, otherwise, she would not so frequently turn it into ridicule by giving mankind an ass for a lion.” - Thomas Paine
31. “On some days you get what you want, and on others, you get what you need.” - Hunter S. Thompson
32. “[On Oscar Wilde:]"If, with the literate, I amImpelled to try an epigram,I never seek to take the credit;We all assume that Oscar said it.[Life Magazine, June 2, 1927]” - Dorothy Parker
33. “Lady Placida smiled. “History seldom takes note of serendipity when it records events. And from what I have heard, I suspect an argument could be made that you very much did earn the title.”“Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.”Lady Placida laughed. “True enough. But perhaps that is beginning to change.” She offered her hands. “It is a distinct pleasure to meet you, Steadholder.” - Jim Butcher
34. “They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said. China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.” - Derek Landy
35. “Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.” - The Kinks
36. “There is a monsterous deal of stupid quizzing, & common-place nonsense talked, but scarcely any wit.” - Jane Austen
37. “You remember having friends who used to lampoon the world so effortlessly, crouching at the verge of every joke and waiting to pounce on it, and you remember how they changed as they grew older and the joy of questioning everything slowly became transformed into the pain of questioning everything, like a star consuming its own core.” - Kevin Brockmeier
38. “The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.” - William Shakespeare
39. “He lies down next to me.He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/''Well, don't die,' I say, "we just met.” - Gwendoline Riley
40. “I spent the last Friday of summer vacation spreading hot, sticky tar across the roof of George Washington High. My companions were Dopey, Toothless, and Joe, the brain surgeons in charge of building maintenance. At least they were getting paid. I was working forty feet above the ground, breathing in sulfur fumes from Satan's vomitorium, for free.Character building, my father said.Mandatory community service, the judge said. Court-ordered restitution for the Foul Deed. He nailed me with the bill for the damage I had done, which meant I had to sell my car and bust my hump at a landscaping company all summer. Oh, and he gave me six months of meetings with a probation officer who thought I was a waste of human flesh.Still, it was better than jail.I pushed the mop back and forth, trying to coat the seams evenly. We didn't want any rain getting into the building and destroying the classrooms. Didn't want to hurt the school. No, sir, we sure didn't.” - Laurie Halse Anderson
41. “Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.” - Robert A. Heinlein
42. “You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.” - Dorothy Parker
43. “This was a lucky recollection -- it saved her from something like regret.” - Jane Austen
44. “Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.” - Oliver Goldsmith
45. “What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospitalroom.“Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.” - Phoebe Kitanidis
46. “Words never fail. We hear them, we read them; they enter into the mind and become part of us for as long as we shall live. Who speaks reason to his fellowmen bestows it upon them. Who mouths inanity disorders thought for all who listen. There must be some minimum allowable dose of inanity beyond which the mind cannot remain reasonable. Irrationality, like buried chemical waste, sooner or later must seep into all the tissues of thought.” - Richard Mitchell
47. “After dinner, at five o’clock, the crew distributed folding canvas cots to the passengers, and each person opened his bed wherever he could find room, arranged it with the bedclothes from his petate, and set the mosquito netting over that. Those with hammocks hung them in the salon, and those who had nothing slept on the tablecloths that were not changed more than twice during the trip.” - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
48. “She would walk through the kitchen at any hour, whenever she was hungry, and put her fork in the pots and eat a little of everything without placing anything on a plate, standing in front of the stove, talking to the serving women, who were the only ones with whom she felt comfortable, the ones she got along with best.” - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
49. “I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.” - Mark Twain
50. “I'm myself, not a label.” - John Brunner
51. “Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.” - Robert Louis Stevenson
52. “Now what happens?" asked the man in black. "We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.""You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?” - William Goldman
53. “If I be waspish, best beware my sting.” - William Shakespeare
54. “Only one English word adequately describes his transformation of the islands from worthless to priceless: magical.” - Kurt Vonnegut
55. “Clever as the Devil and twice as pretty.” - Holly Black
56. “I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels.” - Nicole Luiken
57. “Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.” - Wilkie Collins
58. “Let me be clear. Last I was aware you were neither my husband nor my father nor my King. Therefore, any control you may imagine you hold over me is just that- imaginary” - Sarah MacLean
59. “Men are not nearly as evolved as women are, nor as intelligent, evidently” - Sarah MacLean
60. “And now, my poor old woman, why are you crying so bitterly? It is autumn. The leaves are falling from the trees like burning tears- the wind howls. Why must you mimic them?” - Mervyn Peake
61. “Patience, grasshopper," said Maia. "Good things come to those who wait.""I always thought that was 'Good things come to those who do the wave,'" said Simon. "No wonder I've been so confused all my life.” - Cassandra Clare
62. “Reason leavened with a little wit (if possible) is the real alternative to hate speech, meaning that there's no better time for it.” - Walter Kirn
63. “Mathilde returned and strolled past the drawing-room windows; she saw him busily engaged in describing to Madame de Fervaques the old ruined castles that crown the steep banks of the Rhine and give them so distinctive a character. He was beginning to acquit himself none too badly in the use of the sentimental and picturesque language which is called wit in certain drawing-rooms.” - Stendhal
64. “Never ask while you are doing it if what you are doing is fun. Don't introduce even your most reliably witty acquaintance as someone who will set the table on a roar.” - Christopher Hitchens
65. “He had a reputation in society as a man with a lively wit, whose gaiety was pleasant and formidable – which all gaiety must be in a society which would despise you if, while amusing it, you did not make it tremble a little. ("A Woman's Vengeance")” - Jules Barbey d'Aurevilly
66. “Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren't we suffocating ourselves a wee bit?' he asked, placing a hand on the top of her corset. 'A bit of a crush in the vestibule, here, Mamma! If we start crying, there'll be an explosion. Never mind, I'll be there to collect the bits--just like an antiquary.''Now, there's the language of true French gallantry,' murmured Madame Vauquer in an aside to Madame Couture.” - Honoré de Balzac
67. “He had had much experience of physicians, and said 'the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not'.” - Mark Twain
68. “It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was on your side and not theirs.” - John Brunner
69. “Brevity is the soul of wit.” - Alexander Pope
70. “He remembered having said to his uncle (with a solemn dogmatism better befitting a much younger man): "Surely it is possible to love with the head as well as the heart." Mr. Delagardie had replied, somewhat drily: "No doubt; so long as you do not end by thinking with your entrails instead of your brain.” - Dorothy L. Sayers
71. “Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.” - Adam Gopnik
72. “If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time.” - Thomas De Quincey
73. “I no longer believe in love," she said bitterly. "When people claim to have lost their heart, it's usually only their wits that have vanished.” - Peter Prange
74. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.” - Oscar Wilde
75. “Everybody who is incapable of learning has taken to teaching.” - Oscar Wilde
76. “I am a mediocre being, a bit cunning.” - Renée Vivien
77. “I had such plans for this evening. The pursuit of blind drunkenness and wayward women was my goal. But alas, it was not to be. No sooner had I consumed my third drink in the Devil than I was accosted by a delightful small flower selling child who asked me for twopence for a daisy. The price seemed steep, so I refused. When I told the girl as much, she proceeded to rob me.”“A little girl robbed you?” Tessa said.“Actually, she wasn’t a little girl at all, as it turns out, but a midget in a dress with a penchant for violence, who goes by the name of Six-Fingered Nigel.” - Cassandra Clare
78. “So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.” - Cassandra Clare
79. “When men have come to the edge of a precipice, it is the lover of life who has the spirit to leap backwards, and only the pessimist who continues to believe in progress.” - G.K. Chesterton
80. “I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.” - Elbert Hubbard
81. “There is not a man of common sense who would not chuse to be agreeable in company; and yet, strange as it may seem, very few are” - The Town and Country Magazine. vol. 11, 1779
82. “One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone.” - Marcel Proust
83. “Caro: "Bite me."Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten.” - Kristin Hannah
84. “You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.” - Terry Pratchett
85. “-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?-Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.” - Terry Pratchett
86. “A poet should be so crafty with words that he is envied even for his pains.” - Criss Jami
87. “Rebecca was an academic star. Her new book was on the phenomenon of word casings, a term she'd invented for words that no longer had meaning outside quotation marks. English was full of these empty words--"friend" and "real" and "story" and "change"--words that had been shucked of their meanings and reduced to husks. Some, like "identity" and "search" and "cloud," had clearly been drained of life by their Web usage. With others, the reasons were more complex; how had "American" become an ironic term? How had "democracy" come to be used in an arch, mocking way?” - Jennifer Egan
88. “For a poet he threw a very accurate milk bottle.” - Ernest Hemingway
89. “He had let me know time after time that he was a thinking man, a man of intellect and wit. Yet one unintended hungry look into my eyes and he betrayed each of his words he had carefully spoken to me. I knew it in that instant. He was a viscerally driven man. And one day, he would possess me.” - Jamie Weise
90. “When you have wit of your own, it's a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.” - Criss Jami
91. “Vivid simplicity is the articulation, the nature of genius. Wisdom is greater than intelligence; intelligence is greater than philosobabble.” - Criss Jami
92. “Yes, I'm shallow, I don't mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there's no end to the depths of my shallowness.” - Franny Billingsley
93. “Big words from a guy who's trussed up like a turkey. What are you going to do, wobble over here like an upside- down turtle to snap me in half?""The logistics of breaking you are easy. The only question is when.” - Susan Ee
94. “[I]f you seek in every way to minimise my firm beliefs by your anti-feminist attacks, please recall that a small dagger or knife point can pierce a great, bulging sack and that a small fly can attack a great lion and speedily put him to flight.” - Christine de Pizan
95. “[S]ince you are angry at me without reason, you attack me harshly with, "Oh outrageous presumption! Oh excessively foolish pride! Oh opinion uttered too quickly and thoughtlessly by the mouth of a woman! A woman who condemns a man of high understanding and dedicated study, a man who, by great labour and mature deliberation, has made the very noble book of the Rose, which surpasses all others that were ever written in French. When you have read this book a hundred times, provided you have understood the greater part of it, you will discover that you could never have put your time and intellect to better use!" My answer: Oh man deceived by willful opinion! I could assuredly answer but I prefer not to do it with insult, although, groundlessly, you yourself slander me with ugly accusations. Oh darkened understanding! Oh perverted knowledge ... A simple little housewife sustained by the doctrine of Holy Church could criticise your error!” - Christine de Pizan
96. “In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED.” - Douglas Adams
97. “Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.” - William Goldman
98. “One can have a wit, but not a witless” - Brandon Sanderson
99. “Twelve dead?” I said. “Jesus.” - Dennis Lehane
100. “Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned out.” - Rex Ellingwood Beach
101. “All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.” - Voltaire
102. “His foe was folly and his weapon wit.” - Anthony Hope
103. “Captain Billings," he drawled finally, "if you will pardon my candor, I might remark that you are something of an ass, don't you know.” - Edgar Rice Burroughs
104. “You would wind up as a cat, I told her. They don't need anyone else. I need you, she replied.Well, I said. Maybe I'll come back as catnip.” - Jodi Picoult
105. “He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable” - Emma Goldrick
106. “His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.” - T. A. Miles
107. “If life is a game... I need new dice!” - Jay Little
108. “Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are".” - Anne Hines
109. “Historical Re-creation, he thought glumly, as they picked their way across, under, over or through the boulders and insect-buzzing heaps of splintered timber, with streamlets running everywhere. Only we do it with people dressing up and running around with blunt weapons, and people selling hot dogs, and the girls all miserable because they can only dress up as wenches, wenching being the only job available to women in the olden days.” - Terry Pratchett
110. “You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your life with imagination and verve, God will play along just to see what outrageously entertaining thing you'll do next.” - Dean Koontz
111. “You're maybe eighteen. Your mother didn't love you enough so you decided to pierce your lip and brand your body to piss her off. You hang around this band because they make you feel like you belong. And most days you wish you were in a band of your own, but you know that probably will never happen." I met his eyes waiting.I'm twenty. my mother has an assload of tattoos herself, she thinks its art. I have a lip ring because it turns girls on when I do this." He licked his lip, lingering on the metal for a couple intense seconds. My eyes fluttered with nervousness.” - Holly Hood
112. “... fantasy is not practice for what is real—fantasy is the opiate of women.” - Shannon Hale
113. “The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication - this "nerdification," to put it bluntly - is in the growing disappearance of sarcasm, as mechanic minds take insults a bit too literally.” - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
114. “When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account...” - Hiroko Sakai
115. “ONLY' having the Gift, people appreciate this madness as Art. Everybody wants to have Art in their lives, but no body wants to have what the Art came out from in their lives...” - Hiroko Sakai
116. “The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.” - Edward Abbey
117. “Soar with wit. Conquer with dignity. Handle with care.” - Criss Jami
118. “It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferior---her father gave her away---her mother stood with salts in her hand expecting to be agitated---her aunt tried to cry--- and the service was impressively read by Dr. Grant.” - Jane Austen
119. “The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight.” - Jonathan Stroud
120. “A witty saying proves nothing.” - Voltaire
121. “Wit, after all, is the unfailing symptom of intelligence.” - Christopher Hitchens
122. “Snobbery might sometimes look cool, like smoking, but the end result is usually a repelling one.” - Trent Zelazny
123. “Art is art. You can take it or leave it. Liking it or not liking it does not make you a better person, and who you like or dislike results in the same thing.” - Trent Zelazny
124. “I can't believe you just did that! Are you crazy?"I gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Why do people keep asking me that?"He turned to stare at me, his eyes worried. "Who else keeps asking you that? Are any of them doctors?” - Janette Rallison
125. “You judge very properly, and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?” - Jane Austen
126. “Well, well," said he, "do not make yourself unhappy. If you are a good girl for the next ten years, I will take you to a review at the end of them.” - Jane Austen
127. “If water was beer I'd be a teetotaler” - Benny Bellamacina
128. “What is whiter than snow?' he said. 'The truth,' said Grania.'What is the best colour?' said Finn. 'The colour of childhood,' said she.'What is hotter than fire?' 'The face of a hospitable man when he sees a stranger coming in, and the house empty.''What has a taste more bitter than poison?' 'The reproach of an enemy.''What is best for a champion?' 'His doings to be high, and his pride to be low.''What is the best of jewels?' 'A knife.''What is sharper than a sword?' 'The wit of a woman between two men.''What is quicker than the wind?' said Finn then. 'A woman’s mind,' said Grania. And indeed she was telling no lie when she said that.” - Augusta Gregory
129. “Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.” - Demetri Martin
130. “Thought and knowledge are natures in which apparatus and pretension avail nothing. Gowns, and pecuniary foundations, though of towns of gold, can never countervail the least sentence or syllable of wit. Forget this, and out American colleges will recede in their public importance whilst they grow richer every year.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
131. “We both smile at the classic misunderstanding. It’s all so cliché-ridden, it’s embarrassing. I wish our story could have some more original twists and turns. Maybe one of us will turn into a vampire or something.” - Stacy Kramer
132. “When a man in a forest thinks he is going forward in a straight line, in reality he is going in a circle, I did my best to go in a circle, hoping to go in a straight line.” - Samuel Beckett
133. “I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman.” - Alex Potvin
134. “Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
135. “Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile.” - Zane Stumpo
136. “She was widely read enough to appreciate my literary wit but not so widely read that she knew my sources. I like that in a woman.” - David Mitchell
137. “Hello, I am Oscar Wilde” - Oscar Wilde
138. “I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.” - Saki
139. “I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that” - Lucy Robinson
140. “I'm eating a massive pastrami sandwich. It's so beautiful I might cry. Just so you know.” - Lucy Robinson
141. “Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.” - Lucy Robinson
142. “I am back in London in a couple of days and looking forward to Sunday. Here is what we are doing. 1. Going to see my favourite mad transgender folk singer at the Roundhouse. 2. Then I am going to feed you tapas in a little place by Mornington Crescent. 3. Then we will go home in opposite directions and I will stare at my silent phone for weeks, wondering what happened. Or we will go for a dirty hump on Primrose Hill. Or maybe we will just have an awkward kiss/hug loaded with the promise of more next time. ” - Lucy Robinson
143. “How do you feel about going on a date with me? I'm abroad for another two weeks; you've got plenty of time to prepare yourself. It will be the best night of your life, of course.” - Lucy Robinson
144. “terrorism n.Violence for political purposes or the politically motivated threat of violence which, either intentionally or unintentionally, challenges the state's monopoly on political violence.” - Leslie Starr O'Hara
145. “Jordan, there isn't a straight woman or gay man alive who wouldn't drop everything to have dinner with you. I've been in this business for all of my life, and I know the difference between people who pretend to like you to get ahead, and people who are actually interested in getting to know you. Patrick wants to get to know you. Preferably naked, but that’s up to you.” “I can’t wait until you’re old enough to be senile and start saying these things in public.” “I’m very lucky to have such a loving son.” - Matthew Haldeman-Time
146. “Look, this is helping me out quite a bit, but could you just get to the punishment part? We're at the end of World War Two in history, and I can't wait to find out who wins.” - Rob Thomas
147. “The problem is you make the tricks look good. You are a brilliant acrobat, and a witty comedian. You are skillful. People want a fool to be foolish--trip on banana peels and grin and spout nonsense. These men want fools to make them feel better about themselves, not to remind them what they lack.” - Kelli Swofford Nielsen
