“I seemed to recall a party when I was five, complete with scary clowns and pony rides. Maybe it was the clowns that ruined me for all future birthdays. Because those fuckers are scary.”

“He thought he saw some horses, too, and a clown, but it was the faces of all those dead raptors that really bothered him. And maybe that clown a little bit.”

“No clowns were funny. That was the whole purpose of a clown. People laughed at clowns, but only out of nervousness. The point of clowns was that, after watching them, anything else that happened seemed enjoyable.”

“Sorry," she said. "I'm just ... surprised. It's weird. Sex was never scary to me." She paused. "So what about it do you find scary? Like, penises? Because I can see how those might be a little scary.”

“I don't even like clowns. Clowns are not normal people.”

“You give me hope. The future, no matter how scary or complicated it becomes, will be okay, because you'll be with me. I can do anything, be anyone, as long as you're at my side.”