“He stopped at every village, every hamlet, every house and hovel he passed along the way to ask if they had seen or heard anything of his sister,, Gretel. But no one had. "You mean Gretel, the old woman?""No, my sister.""Gretel, my sister's baby?""No, my sister. And she's not a baby.""I have a goat named Gretel.""No!”

“For a momente she [Gretel] stopped and considered following the rain's advice. But then she shook her head. "You're being foolish," Gretel told herself. "Rain can't talk."No, of course it can't. The moon can eat children, and fingers can open doors, and people's heads can be put back on.But rain? Talk? Don't be ridiculous.Good thinking, Gretel dear. Good thinking.”

“You see, Hansel and Gretel don’t just show up at the end of this story.They show up.And then they get their heads cut off.Just thought you’d like to know.”

“She looked up, over the bandage that was nestled under her chin, and saw that the big-belly man with the red beard was starting at her, shaking his head. He looked like he was crying. "I got ya this time," he whispered, as if to himself. "This time, I got ya.”

“My sister was the one who told me where babies come from. My sister was also the one who laughed when I immediately asked her where babies go to.”

“I just realized... maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, but the witch in Hansel and Gretel -- she's very misunderstood. I mean, the woman builds her dream house and these brats come along and start eating it.”

“Fifteen years ago I killed my sister.”