“No, I wouldn't. I wouldn’t tell a soul.''People who use that phrase are always the last to live up to it.”

“If people ask me,I always tell them:"Quite well, thank you, I'm very glad to say."If people ask me, I always answer,"Quite well, thank you, how are you today?"I always answer, I always tell them, If they ask mePolitely...BUT SOMETIMES I wish That they wouldn't”

“A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate? 
”

“I thought about telling him the truth: 'Oh, nothing. Just having my soul exorcised so I can roam aroundpurgatory, looking for the ghost of the dead cowboy who used to live in my bedroom.”

“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it. I sure as hell wouldn't want to live in a society where the only people allowed guns are the police and the military.”

“In my contact with people, I find that, as a rule, it is only the little, narrow people who live for themselves, who never read good books, who do not travel, who never open up their souls in a way to permit them to come into contact with other souls – with the great outside world.”