“IRWIN: At the time of the Reformation there were fourteen foreskins of Christ preserved, but it was thought that the church of St John Lateran in Rome had the authentic prepuce.DAKIN: Don't think we're shocked by your mention of the word 'foreskin', sir.CROWTHER: No, sir. Some of us even have them.LOCKWOOD: Not Posner, though, sir. Posner's like, you know, Jewish.It's one of several things Posner doesn't have. (Posner mouths 'fuck off.')”

“No other foreskin could have caused such trouble.”

“Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”“Sir?”“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”“Sir?”“That’s practically zen.”

“THAT NO ONE knows what happened to Jesus’s foreskin is particularly interesting because there used to be upwards of a dozen in circulation.”

“In my opinion, the greatest sin in the church of Jesus Christ in this generation is ignorance of the Word of God. Many times I have heard a church officer say, "Well I don't know much about the Bible, but..." and then he gives his opinion, which often actually contradicts the Word of God! Why doesn't he know much about the Bible? These things were written aforetime for our learning. God wants you to know His Word.”

“Jeeves," I said, "those spats.""Yes, sir?""You really dislike them?""Intensely, sir.""You don't think time might induce you to change your views?""No, sir.""All right, then. Very well. Say no more. You may burn them.""Thank you very much, sir. I have already done so. Before breakfast this morning. A quiet grey is far more suitable, sir. Thank you, sir.”