“Forget men, I want to marry my MacBook. It’s dependable, reliable and you can even go shopping with it.”

“My Macbook is my new boyfriend, except that he's dependable and meets all my demands.”

“...even if gay marriage were legalized there would still be gay men who didn't want to marry, gay men no other gay men would want to marry, and gay men who didn't want to leave the priesthood in order to marry.”

“Let's remember you can still go shopping without buying, because where buying is a matter of need, shopping is a question of want.”

“When you’re married, you’re privy to the misunderstanding. When you’re not married, it’s overrated.” I try to smile. “You rush in, headlong, full of dreams and wishes, so far removed from reality that you never even realize you’ve married into a family and the Navy. One refers to you as the girl from L.A., and the other refers to you as the dependent spouse.”

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.”