“Death itself is too big to take in, she already sees that; the loss comes at you instead in an infinite number of small installments that can never be paid off.”

“When you're young your mother shields you from the world because she thinks you're too young to understand, and when she's old you shield her because she's too old to understand - or to have any more understanding inflicted upon her. The curve of life goes: want to know, know, don't want to know.”

“The way I look at it, women in the City are like first-generationimmigrants. You get off the boat, you keep your eyes down, work ashard as you can and do your damnest to ignore the taunts of ignorantnatives who hate you because you look different and you smelldifferent and because one day you might take their job. And you hope. You know it's probably not going to get that much better in your ownlifetime, but just the fact that you occupy the space, the fact thatthey had to put a Tampax dispenser in the toilet - all that makes iteasier for the women who come after you.... The females who comeafter us will scarcely give us a second thought, but they will walk onour bones.”

“You learned that if you're tired enough, you can sleep sitting up. That the unendurable is perfectly endurable if you just take it a minute at a time, and when the alternative is no more minutes ever...”

“...Emily hit the Terrible Twos and I bought a book called Toddler Taming. It was a revelation. The advice on how to deal with small angry immature people who have no idea of limits and were constantly testing their mother applied perfectly to my boss. Instead of treating him as a superior, I began handling him as though he were a tricky small boy. Whenever he was about to do something naughty, I would do my best to distract him; if I wanted him to do something, I always made it look like it was his idea.”

“‎"There is an easy standoff between the two kinds of mother which sometimes makes it hard for us to talk to each other. I suspect that the non-working mother looks at the working mother with envy and fear because she thinks that the working mum has got away with it. And the working mum looks back with fear and envy because she knows that she has not. In order to keep going in either role, you have to convince yourself that the alternative is bad. The working mother says, because I am more fulfilled as a person I can be a better mother to my children. And sometimes, she may even believe it. The mother who stays home knows that she is giving her kids an advantage, which is something to cling to when your toddler has emptied his beaker of juice over you last clean t-shirt.”

“In death, we are not defined by what we did or who we were but by what we meant to others. How well we loved and were loved in return.”