“Boys! Are they always this impossible? Do they always say cryptic, indecipherable things? (Noteto self: work with Liz to adapt her boy-to-English translator into a more mobile form—like maybe awatch or necklace.)”

“I start thinking that maybe God’s plan is I make him more of a man and less of a boy. “I think I was wrong. Some men will always be boys.”"I start thinking that maybe God’s plan is I make him more of a man and less of a boy." “I think I was wrong. Some men will always be boys.”

“Or maybe they were just doing it for fun. A lark. Their religion is tolerant of extreme forms of recreation. Boys will be boys, after all, and sociopathic boys will be sociopathic.”

“Maybe if I'd agreed to do the debutante thing like she wanted. Or taken up pageants instead of riding jump bikes with a bunch of grungy boys. I'd always tell her, why can't I do both? Who says you have to be either smart or pretty, or into girly stuff or sports? Life shouldn't be about the either/or. We're capable of more than that, you know?”

“Do not chase boys. Chasing boys is bad. Chasing boys can lead to horrible things like mansions going up into flames, hand amputations, and blindness. So have some self respect and don't let things get too far before the wedding day.”

“Boys will be boys, that's what everyone always says. But no one ever mentions how girls have to be something other than themselves altogether.”